Helping you align all that you do with your core values
Dare:
An act of daring, to have courage, a challenge.
What challenge are you accepting for yourself this week?
Mine was creating some content that isn’t a 1600 word essay! Hope you like it.
Dawn
xx
“It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are, if your past was good or bad. It doesn’t matter your her-story or his-story, your life success and quality is created with what you did do, not by what you could’ve done.
Where do you dare yourself this week?
Sign up for the Dare to Be You Ebook below.
Woa! Before you scan down the page.
This little list is my list. These are my thoughts based on my experiences.
I hope you have a very different list, you do don’t you? Go ahead and share them in the comments,when you get there.
Or if you’re just starting out, ask a question, please. Anything on the list that makes you go ‘huh?’
Remember to subscribe the comments, so you get an answer.
‘Nuff said.
Onwards.
0.5 (Just thought of this after hitting publish.) Don’t sign up for anything unless you’re prepared to do the work.
1. Love your customers and clients.
2. Marketing is not a dirty word. It’s just (or can be if you let it) as creative as the fun stuff. Don’t let anyone fear you into thinking it is. ALL it is is telling people over, and over, and over, and over what you do, how you do it, how they can get it – in a language that they understand.
3. Never get paid on outcome based work. Always get paid for the work you deliver.
4. Never, ever, ever take your business to bed with untrustworthy peeps. If it doesn’t feel right, you’re probably spot on.
5. Get a contract signed if you’re in a partnership.
6. Stand for something much bigger than you.
7. Be remarkable or go home.
8. Work with your ideal client, you’ll have a heck of a lot more fun.
9. Write your business materials as you talk, not corporate woowoo trite.
10. It’s quicker, easier and less hassle to pay someone to teach you what you want to know.
11. You don’t need to know any HTML is a complete lie. You do.
12. Never put off showing who you really are.
13. Your family and friends will never really understand you’re business baby, seek support from those who do.
14. Never, ever, ever, work for free, ever. Trade if you have to.
15. Run your business as a business, have fun but get serious.
16. You cannot copy another business, be unique and you will find your place.
17. You will get tired and emotional. Take more breaks.
18. It’s hard work, get used to it. 18 hour days aren’t for everyone.
19. Ask for help. Ask. Ask. Ask. Reach out to people.
20. Get in there, get dirty, make plenty mistakes as quickly as possible.
21. Step out your own area of expertise to learn what you need.
22. Smell BS before you’re covered in it.
23. You cannot do it ALL alone. Ever.
24. When success happens. Be ready for it.
25. Don’t ever stop marketing, even if you’re delivering.
27. Say no if you don’t have the time.
28. Always remain true to your core values. Always. Can’t decide? Go back to them.
30. If you aren’t excited about what you, sure bet you’re customers are bored too.
31. Don’t appeal to everyone. It doesn’t work.
32. Decide who the buck stops with.
33. Nothing is perfect 1st time round. Get it out there.
34. Be vulnerable. Don’t seek approval from others.
35. Plan as much as can be planned. Then let your clients decide.
36. Deal with your money crap (if you have any) sooner rather than later.
37. Don’t ignore the problems, they aren’t going away.
38. You are a business owner from Day 1. Act it.
39. Focus. Don’t get distracted by the next shiny new thing.
40. Give 100x more than a client expects.
41. Don’t argue in public (even online.)
42. If cash flow is an issue, take the shortest route to paying your mortgage. Create after the rush.
43. Never build your property on someone else’s land. (i.e. Facebook is not yours, neither are free websites.)
44. Commit yourself to your ideas.
45. Prepare to make sacrifices. Does that washing really need done?
46. Always be willing to help others.
47. Never forget to thank.
48. Resources is not all about money, what else do you have?
49. Speak well of your business. Always.
50. No one is born a business owner, everyone begins at the same place (usually from scratch!)
51. Inspire. Inform. Ignite. Before you do anything else.
52. Never spam, it’s just wrong.
53. Turn up on time, everytime and be willing to learn also.
54. Treat customers with the same respect you give your loved ones.
55. There are no instant overnight success secrets. None. You may be duped into buying it one day. Shut down the noise.
56. Only buy what you need at start up, not what looks shiny.
57. Speak to people who have been there, done that, got the T-shirt and can prove their achievements.
58. Find out if people need and want your product first before you create it.
59. Start marketing/networking/building meaningful relationships before your service/product is ready.
60. Get out the work that’s wanted, not what you think is needed, make amendments later.
61. Create the culture you want from Day 1.
62. The business you start, won’t look the same in 2 years, it won’t. Get over analysis paralysis.
63. Would you buy what you offer? Don’t sell it if you wouldn’t.
64. You need a strategy, not necessarily a business plan.
65. Always add to your own learning.
66. What works for that other little business, may work in yours.
67. Focus your business, not the failure statistics.
68. If you want to change routes, do it, don’t flog a dead horse (horrible expression!)
69. Some stuff (even the boring work) needs to be done by you. Get over it. Get it done.
70. Don’t expect complete freedom, not at first. That is a massive myth.
71. Tell people you’re busy and shut the door.
72. You can take risks, but you aren’t a stunt person (unless you are!)
73. Fall in love with your customers (have I said that already?)
74. Working harder is not working smarter. Think about what you’re working on.
75. Work hard, but never on the work that’s wrong.
76. It’s up to you to tell people the value of working with you. They can’t guess.
77. Build it (website) and they will come is complete hoohaa.
78. Build a website that works. Minus comic bloody sans.
79. Don’t dare ignore your clients until you want something.
80. You are your boss. Would you hire you? Get serious if the answer is no.
81. Celebrate your achievements, even if you have to go to a pub on your own.
82. If it’s not out there, expect no return.
83. Follow a handful of people who are doing what they say, watch what they do.
84. Never try and replicate another, but if you like a strategy someone else has, use it. If it works for you, thank them.
85. Do your research. Find out what people want.
86. Keep your credit card at home at free seminars and courses.
87. Unless your Amazon, don’t act like Amazon.
88. Show up as you, always. Not a fake version of you.
89. You have full accountability, ownership and control. Accept it, it’s awesome!
90. Love your customers and clients (oh, again!)
91. You will fail. Lots. Mistooks will be made. Own up, move forward, don’t dwell.
92. The small things do matter, make them happen and create a red carpet experience for your clients.
93. Your customers aren’t in your home office, get out the house.
94. If it’s not fun, what are you doing it for?
95. Somethings take longer than others to implement.
96. Don’t let someone else’s ‘rags to riches’ story become yours.
97. Speak to someone about your fears.
98. Information should never have you in overwhelm, not if it’s good information.
99. Be honest about your finances.
100. Take one full day off a week. No excuses. Yes, you can.
101. Step out your business and see what’s happening in the business next door.
102. Don’t ever be shy to accept a kind gesture. Never falter in giving them away.
103. The people who have requested to hear from you (your sign up list) are more important than Social Media.
104. Never got to a networking event to see what ‘you can get‘.
105. Never turn up online asking ‘what can I take’. Give first.
106. Be there for your customers and clients, not Google.
107. Take care of your health. If you aren’t there, your business stops.
108. Know your ideal client. Write her/him a letter. Talk about their fears.
109. Share what can be shared. Expect nothing in return.
110. To be continued…
This event is over.
This baffled me for a long time.
Let’s say two people wish to make massive changes in their life.
Both talented, both passionate, both exceptional. Both have all the resources they need. Both have the acquired the learning, got the information, both have the ability, the experience and skills. Both are on equal footing.
One goes for it.
The other hasn’t. They say.
‘I haven’t done it yet?’
‘I want to but I’m not ready for that, yet.‘
‘I want to start that but I’m not sure how, yet.’
‘I’ve not got round to doing that yet.’
What are you not doing yet?
What’s really going on with you?
The biggest teacher I have had ever had the pleasure of learning from had four feet, a wet nose, teeny ears, were covered in fur and had really sharp bloody claws. She’s left now, but she taught well.
Ready?
Oh, and if you have a brilliant lesson from your four legged one, please be my guest, share it in the comments at the end.
A dog can eat your best bra, wee the floor, scratch the sofa, eat and spread about Cat Litter Tray Biscuits but all that is forgotten about in 30 minutes as you cuddle up watching telly. With humans, we like to have a teeny cross word and go to bed not speaking, then avoiding each other for weeks.
Ball. Ball. Ball. Car. Car. Car. Food. Food. Food. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Repeat.
Dogs are present, living each moment to the fullest.
The only games they play are games that they love.
With humans, we appear to always live in the future, and can be spend too long playing games we’ve learned from the past.
Sadly, we humans can do the cruelest, unspeakable acts to a dog, and yet with time, care, love and in the right hands their trust can be won again.
We say, ‘I’ll never trust’ again, and push away real love to protect ourselves. That makes no sense.
Dogs love the celebratory roll in fox poo during a walk, and don’t let it affect the rest of the journey.
We on the other hand, can have a few rolls in it and think it affects the rest of our life.
Let go. You don’t have to chase your back end, or run around in circles in the garden, but every now and then, let the wild you out to play. Dogs don’t worry about other dogs are thinking of them.
For my doggy teacher every walk was a new adventure, even though she had been there hundreds of time before.
Every smell, every human, every greet with a new person, the seasons, the river she dived in, every day all of it new.
We repeat the same behaviour and habits over and over, live each day as if it’s your last, is great saying we click ‘Like’ to on Facebook, and hardly ever carry out the intent behind the words.
The horrible fact is that our pets leave too soon.
The lesson needs no explanation, even if they eat your socks.
Carry on.
Maya and I never argued, not once. She did her thing, I did mine.
Why can’t it be that simple with human beings?
It’s not love if you want to change someone. That’s fear.
For dogs this is natural. The learn by playing. They don’t ever get to a point when they think ‘oh, I’m 8 now, no more playing!’
You have it too. It’s not left you, you’re still curious, you haven’t lost it.
Feel what you feel. Growling is a dogs way (generally) to say back off, back down, I’m scared, I’m not the happiest of canines.
Own your feelings, but try not to draw blood, k?
Your Turn
Lesson from your dog?
When I was 21 and 3/4’s I temped (which is snazzy word for dogsbody, poor dogs, they don’t deserve that.)
Have you ever been The Temp?
No?
Okay then, let me see, *thinking*.
Right. Have you ever been in a situation totally out your depth? Perhaps you’ve sat scared in a meeting dreading you’re turn, because you perceived that others were more qualified to speak than you.
Or have you been at a networking event and got yourself a case of the ‘noddy-dog-uh-huhs‘, keeping quiet because you hadn’t got a clue what the conversation was about?
Perhaps you’ve started a piece of work, a project, brought alive an idea only to call halt and not finish, because you fot it into your head that you weren’t ‘good enough’? (Good enough to what? Good enough compared to whom?)
Okay, are we all on the same page now? Excellent.
The funniest assignment (to my 21 and 3/4’s no empathy, inexperienced, completely unaware self) was for a housing agency.
The manager arrived in work each day with a 6 pack of Becks beer, by noon they were drank (and she was drunk). At the same place, there was a team lunch on the Friday, the office got locked and bolted at 11.00 and corked again at 3.30, without the Manager, she was never to be seen again until Monday morning. Funny? I was 20 and 3/4’s, yes it was bizarre, today I wonder if she got help.
Once that little spree was done, I got my new mission, which I choose to accept, for a charity based in Edinburgh.
As soon as I arrived on the first day I got hurried into another office by a verybusybusybusybee in clicky heels carrying a clipboard. Until that point I had been in so many places where I had been rushed into cupboards, small spaces, desks in fecking hallways, anywhere that the ‘temp’ work could be completed, no windows, fresh air or contact with anyone else my initial thought was, ‘here we go again’.
Side: Do some places think temps are decendants of escape artists but with admin skills? Teeny-tiny spaces. Give temps air, you swines!
I digress.
Ms BusyAsABusyBee asked the obligatory better be nice to the temp question, ‘Would you like a coffee?‘, said in a tone that actually meant, ‘You won’t be wanting a cup of coffee, will you? Because I don’t really want to make you one and we have ‘proper jobs’, sadly I’ve been landed with you’.
‘That would be lovely’, replied my cocky 20 3/4’s self.
She tutted. And flew out the door, buzzing down the hall to a place I probably wasn’t going to get invited for lunch.
I waited half an hour, taking in the room I’d been shuffled into. The room was really swanky. The view stunning, being able to see right across Edinburgh. The office was filled with unique furniture, a massive oak desk, one that I imagined proper ‘writers’ write at, I thought I was in Ms Bees office, or at least someone pretty high up in the chain of this non-profit.
I was just deciding whether to have a nosey at all the leaflets on the desk when my coffee arrived, only no Ms Bee, someone new, ‘I take it you’re the temp?’ she asked without looking at me.
Crickey, did I go too far with the bee?
‘Yes’, I replied ever so smiley, smiley, smiley me.
‘Mr X, (I’ve changed the name for confidentiality purposed. Their name wasn’t ‘X’, I mean, I wasn’t in the Home Office or MI5 or anything) will be a little late, you’ve just to get settled in until he gets here.’
‘Will he be inducting me?’ I asked. (Inducting. What a silly word. That is such an HR word. What happened to showing me the ropes?)
‘Uh-huh. You are his PA’, she stung.
‘PA?’ I asked. What the hell was a PA? Short for Piss Artist? Public Announcement system? Pack Animal? What type of charity was this?
Sadly, I have one of those faces. The Giveaway Face. I can’t hide my thoughts, I do look like my feelings, plus I have runaway eye brow that raises and a mouth that leans to the side when confused-eth.
‘Personal Aaaaaa-sistaaaant, to the Director’, there went sting No 2. ‘Please say you have experience’, she added.
What the hell was a Personal Assistant?
‘Oh. right. Excellent,’ cocky me replied.
‘This is your office’, she said.
My giveaway face, gave it away again.
‘Mr X’s is here.’ She opened the doors, and sure enough another office, bigger than the one I was in. My first thought was did the people fundraising, running marathons, baking cakes, walking in China along a wall know they were buying art for this charity?
So there I was, already an enemy to the Bee and the Wasp because I was being arsy, plus I had no idea what a PA’s role was, but it’s fair to say idea I was utterly out my 20 3/4’s years depth.
Now, I had okay admin skills, but I was no Billy-Gatesy-Boy, I couldn’t decide what was for tea most nights, and I still can’t. Imposter. I felt like an imposter. But, I really needed the money.
When the Director eventually pitched up, he was all excited at my arrival, obviously without a Pack Animal for a while.
After the quick, ‘how-d0-you-do’s, weather is nice, did you get here okay, that’s a busy bus,’ conversation. I decided I liked this chappie. Do you ever feel that from peeps? You get an instant liking?
So, I grew up.
And owned up.
I explained to him that there had been a mistake, that I’d never carried out this role before, and if he wanted to phone the agency to get someone qualified I’d understand.
He said, ‘Let’s give it a week and then see, shall we? We all have to learn and it begins with starting somewhere.‘
This guy must have been desperate and that statement has stuck with me ever since.
He then gave me a presentation to prepare for the Friday, told me I would need to organise the two Managers training events happening on the Thursday/Friday including the catering, and that I would be required to take minutes on the Tuesday. Could I organise his flights, accommodation and travel to a conference he was attending the following week in London — he then handed me the credit card to book and pay for all of the above.
Feck, yeah. I could do that. Or at least try it, and I had to start somewhere.
Look, this wasn’t a career role for me. I didn’t want to work in admin or be a PA but it taught me two massive lessons which I want to share with you.
Are you dismissing oppportunites because you think you aren’t good enough…yet?
I spent my evenings that first week in the library (that’s a building that lends books, remember them?) and reading about how to take minutes, event planning and how to write business letters. I borrowed a typewriter and clunked my way into the night typing cat, rat, dog, over and over and over.
Many peeps sit back and wait for the person next to them to stick up their hand.
Have you ever pulled back and at the same time you’ve thought:
I can do that.
I have the ability.
I know I can.
Let me try.
How do we know what we are capable of unless we stick our hand up? And I don’t just mean to the requests of others, to say yes to yourself.
They come from one-liners, an aside comment that stops us in our tracks, leaves us thinking for years and changed for a lifetime.
We all have to start somewhere.
In those moments when you hear ‘YES’ coming from your own thoughts, consider going for it.
You’ll learn as you go, you’ll screw up, you’ll make mistakes, perhaps feel out your depth, and?
I mean that. So what?
We all have to learn, we all have to start somewhere.
You’ll hear the internal Ms Bees and Ms Wasps with their chitter-chatter telling you not to, let them rant.
You probably won’t remember reading this later on today, or next week, but perhaps in a month or so when you’re presented with the moment where you can say ‘I can do that’, you’ll grab it and say peacefully to yourself, ‘Gotta start somewhere.’
‘Till next time,
PS: What are you scared to say yes to? What’s in your way? If you need help come to the next webinar on the 6th July ‘Sorting the Crap That Is Stopping You From Creating Your Remarkable‘
Writing the story is one thing, altering the story halfway through can be a scary business.
Pretty soon is my ten year anniversary of not working for, or answering to someone else for pay, it feels like a lifetime ago. Oh, wait a minute, it is a lifetime ago.
Back in the dark ages, the business activity was helping long-term unemployed people back into employment. There was no website, no blog, no Facebook (that baby wasn’t born), no social media, no WordPress, that’s right, no WordPress. (Breathe, bloggers, breathe.)
One decade. Can you remember what you were doing a decade ago?
Have you changed? Silly question.
The part in-between from that day to this is a mix of highs, achievements, lows, nightmares, fun, 97% brilliant clients, learning like I have never learned before, wondering if I can pay the mortgage next month, then trips to New York. It’s made me laugh, cry, and for a while pretty ill, up and down, over and round, it really has been one ‘helluva ride.
So what?
Like you, I’ve changed in 10 years. I started a business looking for freedom. Where I am today is choosing to be free (as much as the systems will let me.)
Back then there is no way I would talk to you as I do now, there is no way I would mention the F-word, there is no way I would talk about VJaysJays on Twitter, there is no way that I would sack a client.
Back then that 30-year-old something was trying so hard to fit into her screwed up perception of what a business owner does. The high heels hurt, the hand-bags were ridiculous, the filofax plain annoying, the nice pens always got lost, the pristine professional look wasn’t (and still isn’t) me.
Take this website (in the past year) it has been my biggest love/hate/hair pull project: if you’re new here you won’t be aware that it has been changed more times than I’ve changed my knickers in the past year.
I know now what’s been happening.
It wasn’t the blog.
Nor the business.
Not even the website.
It’s been me.
If this business was a one of those children-like things, and I their parent, I swear the child would be a rebel devil.
See, you can only contain something that wants to do and be something else for so long before it starts to fight back against the oppressor, nothing can be kept from being a true expression of itself, it comes out eventually.
When was the last time someone or something held on to your hems? What happened in the end? How did it feel? Is it still happening? How’s that going for you?
I’ve been in ‘transition’ for about three years, just not realising it. When I started blogging for business, years after the start-up phase, the stories were sanitised ‘how-to’ posts about CV’s, application forms, general career-sy stuff, and of course personal development, which is a phrase I hardly use anymore.
I whole-heartedly accept my own mini-evolution. And through this transition (I’m sure there will be more to come) I embrace my mission has grown stronger.
Transition is such a beautiful word.
To transform.
To shift.
To grow.
To develop.
The complete opposite of stagnation and sameness. I don’t want my life, my business, my world to become same old, same old, what about you, for your life? I don’t even want to be known as a ‘coach’ or a ‘trainer’, in fact I don’t want any more labels put upon me, therefore I have to quit placing them on myself.
Isn’t that what we all want?
To not be defined by labels. To not be placed into box, after box, after box with all the roles we play in life? Isn’t that where we begin to lose who we truly are?
So what’s next?
And I ask that to you also. What’s next for you?
Over the past 10 years I’ve been learning information that has nothing to do with changing careers and personal development, I’ve been touching on it here and there in this blog. It is going to help women cut ties and labels so they can transform into what they know they are capable of. That I do know.
Why? Because I utterly believe that there are people in this world who have a MASSIVE mission and message to share. Some of you sitting there will have dreams, plans, ideas and goals that will blow me away when I hear them, I know that. See, it’s going to be an honour to serve you.
Partly as an introduction to all the changes around here. And to say…
Everything is just a story. The future you not yet written, how wonderful is that?
If you’ve grown out of parts of you’re life, you’re allowed to transform, to re-write, to create new scripts for yourself.
Be brilliant in your transformation, you don’t need to deny where you have been, just take the brilliant parts with you (and the learning of course.)
Start a crusade, be something to someone – not a sanitised version to everyone.
If you know you’re at a turning point in your life, little biz, career, you already know that you’re going to have go round that corner at some point, don’t you? At some stage you are going to pull up your socks, take a deep breathe and confidently look right round and then step out. It’s coming, you know the time is nearly upon you.
I encourage you to accept that the transformation is a progression to the next stage. What stage? Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t have the answer to that one for you.
See, I believe sometimes we come to a point in life where we realise that all we have be doing until this moment has been in preparation, for something much bigger than we dreamed about 10 years ago.
What if that something else is so remarkable it takes your breathe away?
It’s worth the alteration surely? Yes? No?
‘Till next time.