Genuinely, Are You Authentic?

“The authentic self is the soul made visable” Sarah Ban Breathnach

Do you remember cabbage patch kids? They gave me the creeps!

What about one those annoying little Furbys?

Are you the proud owner of a Steiff Teddy bear?

And if you do have the  The Real McKoy (that’s Scottish-ness for the genuine article) version lurking in your attic, you’ll also have their Certificate of Authentication.

That’s the proof that they aren’t fake: rip offs, a sorry second on the real version, cloned alternatives, probably sold from the back of lorry.

But dodgy looking dollies, and annoying freaky furballs aside…

What Does Authenticity Mean to You?

Is it any of these?

• ‘Be yourself’
• ‘Be true to who you are’
• ‘Sit in alignment with what you believe’
• ”Be honest’
• ‘Stand out’
• ‘Own your own voice’

Authenticity has become a big word recently, especially in business.

Authentic simple means not fake.

Genuine.

Congruent: who you say you are, is what you are, what you are on the outside, is who you are on the inside.

To be true to who you are, not a copycat, or second rate version of someone else.

And I think, although the word is well said, the behaviour of the word isn’t, and I’m guilty as charged!

But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Why Is Authenticity Hard-ish?

I believe, it’s not because we can’t do it, but because it feels incredibly vulnerable and my second opinion is the word has been mucked about with too much.

It can be scary, frightening even, to ‘just be yourself!’

In business, to ‘just be yourself’ people may turn away not liking what they see. Deep down we may not want to share those inner and hidden parts of us that are reserved for the people that know us well. Hence it being vulnerable.

We may choose to hide behind websites, smart words, blogs and logos.

In my personal life, authenticity is a core value, and it is in business as well, but for some reason the early years of self employment it was a real struggle.

And if you can relate, that doesn’t sit well, does it?

You see if I had stuck with the core value, all would have been well. Sadly, I confused it all.

A few examples:

• Updating my personal profile on facebook, easy. My business page, ages.
• Using ‘we’ on a website, when it’s just me. Why? To appear and seem bigger?
• Personal profile picture: airbrushed and professional looking for business and the real me on Facebook personal page.
• Playing it ‘safe’ so as not to risk offending anybody.
• Watching how others did ‘stuff’ and trying (and failing miserably) to replicate it in my business.
• Lurking! Not taking part, just watching from the sidelines.

I did deliver what I said and promised, it’s the ‘soul made visable‘ part I’ve tussled with.

Faker You’re Spotted

When I was little my folks used to (I think) shop regularly at the ‘Fallen Off The Back of The Lorry’ department store!

This isn’t a sob story, just fact.

I knew no different, not until they broke. Or they were removed from me because of the lethal parts popping out. They only lasted so long before they fell to pieces. Although they were good copies, they still never looked or behaved the same as the ones that were original.

I’m not saying here that you must buy the best of stuff for your children (or risk a trip in a police car). This is just a metaphor. In fact, I only ever remember one toy from childhood, Mr Potato Head, he rocked and he was a cheap as chips, sorry!

Anyway, the metaphor.

We can only ‘be’ and ‘act’ in accordance to our own beliefs. We can’t maintain what we aren’t.

People begin to mistrust. People are smart, really smart. Can spot a faker a mile away. They shut down, shut you out, turn you off.

Is it not better to be turned off for being yourself, rather than turned off for what you aren’t?

I’d say yes. And it wasn’t until that penny dropped did authenticity in my business become easier. But this isn’t just for business it applies to all areas of life.

7 Ways to Earn Your Own Certificate of Authenticity

1. Go Back to Roots: Write down who you are and what you truly believe in. What are your core values? What will you tolerate and not tolerate? What’s your negotiables and non-negotiables? What will you do if they are crossed?

2. Where Have You Veered? It’s okay if you have, you can undo.What are you currently doing that ‘does not sit well with you’? Why are you doing it? What results are you hoping to achieve? Can you get the same result by being you?

3. The Real You. What do you stand for? What are the parts of you that you keep hidden? You don’t need to share it all, but with what you are hiding if anything, what’s your reason?

4. Why? Why do you think you have mistrusted your own self? What are you afraid that others may find out you? What do you fear might happen if you took the plunge?

5. Commitment. Promise yourself that no matter the challenge, the fear, the possible outcome that you will only ever be true to yourself. What does that mean? Stop copying (model is acceptable) others.

Easy to say, hard to acknowledge is the saying ‘the most intimate relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves’. Commit to getting intimate. That means, loving all of you. Getting cosy with the good and not so good. What your struggling with, so are others!

6. Congruence. You are what you say you are. Accept that not everyone will ‘like’ what they see about you, it really doesn’t matter. Life truly isn’t a popularity contest.

7. Make a Promise. To yourself, nobody else. That you’ll never be the second rate version of someone else. That you’ll never try and copy another because you think there way (or them) is more valuable.

Final Thoughts

Authenticity is easy.

It’s our brains and fears that muck it up. Plus perhaps expecations from others. People will come and go, some will get you, some won’t. And it’s okay. You can’t appeal to everyone. But you can appeal to yourself.

Or, refuse to be authentic, sell youself up from the back of the lorry! Someone will buy you, but when they realise that they have bought into a fake I can pretty much guarantee they won’t purchase a second time.

Back to my original question…

Genuinely, are you authentic?