A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. John Henry Newman
Are you one? A perfectionist?
- Do you want to be the person with the business that has no faults, blemishes and pimples?
- Does the thought of anyone picking holes in what you’re doing, disagreeing with or not liking your ‘stuff’ whisk you up into a cold sweat?
- Do you think your perfectionism is actually a strive for excellence in your business?
Yes? Keep reading.
No? Go and do something else.
Not sure? Here’s a test, I’ll hang on for you!
Why Business and Perfectionism Don’t Mix
- It can stop you ‘being yourself’, and people i.e. your potential customers/clients/prospects need to know who they are doing business with.
- It can prevent you taking a calculated risk, accepting a challenge and stepping up.
- It can kill your creativity and imagination because you spend the time defending yourself and observing your own success.
- It’s frustrating, it’s stressful and causes anxiety.
- It wastes time. So much time!
Let the battle commence…
I’m in recovery from perfectionism. Yeah, we’re all in recovery for something. This was (one of) mine. And I use the word recovery, because I’m not going to say to you that one day I woke up and I was completely cured from my affliction.
Weird, you’d expect an (ex) perfectionist to be perfectly healed, huh? Ha!
There are occasions when the battle continues.
It could be a new idea for a project, a workshop, a blog post, a piece of writing, a comment made on someone else’s blog, a graphic, a header, geez even a Facebook update or a tweet, sometimes the perfectionism lurgy can raise it’s head.
Recovery means that it’s a journey: most of the time (now) it’s not an issue, but some days I can fall back into the perfectionists behaviours, including the occasional negative mental chitchat that perfectionism feeds and thrives on. I’m not sure if a complete cure will ever be achieved. But at least the perfectionist days are well outnumbered. Mainly using the tips I’m going to share with you below.
But first.
Excellence and Perfectionism Are Not One and The Same
Here’s a gift for you…
Perfectionism is setting your own standards too high. If you don’t ‘make it’ then you come down harsh on yourself.
The strive for excellence is the setting of high standards and to accept that mistakes and errors will be made. No harshness, just learning.
See, BIG difference. I’d say a strive for excellence even sounds better!
A Little Psychology…
According to Hamchek there are two types of perfectionism ‘normal’ and ‘neurotic’.
Hamchek says normal perfectionists are always striving to do their best, they get a (healthy) kick out of putting in the slog to be near darned perfect.
Neurotic perfectionists never obtain satisfaction in what they are doing because in their eyes they will never be good enough.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t think any type of perfectionism is healthy (now). I can’t put together ‘healthy’ and ‘perfectionism’ in the same sentence any more. Mainly because of the stress and ill health it creates.
How To Know if Perfectionism is Screwing You and Your Business Up…
Try these…
1. How do you feel when you have made a mistake and it’s been seen by others?
- Perfectionists answer: awful, embarrassed, shamed, I must retreat for a few days!
- Non perfectionist answer: ah well, oops, live and learn!
2. When have you held back because what you were working on wasn’t ‘quite right’?
- Perfectionist answer: em, well, it wasn’t right.
- Non perfectionist answer: em, much better out there and seen, rather than on my desktop.
3. Growing up, did anyone have extremely high expectations of you? Do you ask them of others?
4. Do you get frustrated when things don’t go to plan, even though it wasn’t your fault?
5. Do you stop expressing how you really feel?
6. Are you a time waster?
Seemingly procrastination and perfectionism aren’t related. Perfectionism wastes time, because of the strive for no errors, mistakes, opportunities for people to judge. Perfectionists get a lot done, but never to the standard they are happy with.
Right, Are You Up For a Challenge?
Read this first:
According to research people who solve this puzzle in 5 seconds or less are more likely to reach their goals.
In the picture is a face.
All you need to do is find the face.
In 5 seconds or less.
GO!
Did you find it?
In 5 seconds or less?
Okay Here’s The Truth
There is no research, nobody has ever said people who solve this puzzle in 5 seconds or less are more likely to reach their goals.
Who were you competing against?
Yourself? The “research”?
If you didn’t ‘see’ it, how did you feel? Frustrated? Annoyed? Angry at yourself? Peeved that you never made the goal in 5 seconds? Not good enough?
Okay, transfer all that into other areas where you feel the need to be perfect. Unhealthy?
The perfectionists only competition is with themselves.
7 1/2 Tips to Ditching Perfectionism to Save Your Sanity
1. Hang out with people that will slap you…
Okay, not physical violence, that’s just wrong.
I mean, hang out with people that will be able to help you put a sudden end to perfectionism.
People that you trust, people who are good for you. People who are on the same wavelengths. People who you can send a quick email, pick the phone, have a call on Skype. Tell them you have the case of the perfectionisms! They will ‘slap’ it. Even better is to tell someone what to do before the call ever takes place (see No 5 below).
2. See it as the enemy, not your work
Today you can only do your best, and tomorrow your best will be better, and the day after that even better still.
Acknowledge that you’re ‘just being a perfectionist‘, one of the keys to any change is admitting it’s there in the first place.
3. Question your own beliefs
Perfectionism isn’t ‘out there’, it resides within you. It can only appear because of the beliefs you have. Revisit the people ‘mentally’ who put high expectations on you or who help you form your beliefs around perfectionism.
4. Set your own rules/boundaries
Start by saying ‘my best, right now, is good enough‘. You can only get better, the more you grown, learn, age, experience. Of course what you are doing right now may not your best in a few years time, that’s okay. That’s business!
Heck, that’s the core of business to be good at what you do and get better. That’s excellence in action. The perfectionist doesn’t ‘see’ this. They expect it all to be perfect now. I’d recommend you have a set of rules in place. Know what you will do when perfectionism is creeping in.
5. Know your own triggers
There is a great tool that called WRAP, wellness recovering action planning. One of the parts of the tool is to identify what you will do BEFORE the unwanted behaviour starts to occur, so you can nip it in the bud before it takes root. So for instance, I know that procrastination was a symptom of my perfectionism.
I had identified that ‘trigger’. That meant that I could nip it in the bud quicker.
6. Acknowledge your mistakes, get help on your weaknesses
Yes. That means saying ‘whoops I screwed up’ every now and then. Seriously, do you honestly believe people will not forgive you for making a mistake? Go back to No 3. This is a belief that just isn’t true.
7. Set realistic goals
That means goals that are within your reach and not out of sight. Sure, have the HUGG ones, (Huge Unbelievable Gigantic Goals) they are there to motivate and inspire. Internal motivation comes from acknowledging small goals every step of the way.
7 1/2. Put on the back burner the ideas and projects that you aren’t ready for, yet.
Oh, this is a biggie, but your business and sanity I do hope you ‘get’ what I mean. I’m not saying give up or don’t start. As a solo business owner you have that entrepreneurial ‘streak’ within you, and you’ll have the ideas, no doubt about it.
Get one thing done to completion, have it 95% to your liking and get it out there. You can tweak as you go. You probably also have ideas for projects, ask yourself honestly ‘can I do this now?’, do you have all the resources? Solo biz owners (in my experience) try to do everything all at once.
The door to burnout is aiming for perfection in every area.
The key to excellence is master one thing, then move onto the next.
Thoughts?
Wow! I forgot I had ever wrote this Dawn! Thanks for sharing. 2024