Moxie Work and Career

I asked Kitty to contribute to the Do What You Love to Do Interviews because:

1. She has a really interesting path (historian, artist, journalist, teacher).
2. Her writing is so darned good. Okay, that’s just my opinion, but really it is.
3. She strips back what doesn’t need to be there and just says what needs to be said.
4. I knew her answers would be to the point.

Background: I first met Kitty online in 2011, her first words to me via a tweet were ‘you’re going camping, that’s so 80’s!’, and then for a year or so we wrote nonsense back and forth, and then eventually we met face to face here in Edinburgh in July 2012.

Intro from Kitty

I write in Dutch only. So enjoy the interview while it lasts.

Of personal information I have little of interest to share – or wait, I have just started using a running app that tells me to slow down and speed up and that I have done great.

I blog and I offer writing coaching at the Blog Academy and that is where I add value.

What does doing what you love to do mean to you?

For me creation (blogging, teaching, building websites etc) is escape from reality. It lets me live in my own zone. Where I can write and think and challenge and applaud. Helping other people write better comes naturally to me. It is an extension that does not feel like work.

I need to escape because reality is boring. Often in the garden at night I hear our neighbours’ dinner parties. I hear the sound of glasses and laughter and chatter and all I can think is: I am so glad I do not have to be them. Being in my own zone is way more interesting.

How are you living your life doing what you love to do?

It has taken me almost a lifetime to find my sweet spot. I trained as a historian, I was a journalist, I am a wife and mom. I have free lanced, I have not held down jobs very well, I got a near burnout when I was around 40 and I have been unable to type for a few years.

I have adhd, like everyone else online. Which means I get bore out pretty fast. In the past it also made me insecure and ashamed and therefore often mildly depressed, but ever since I’ve taken medication I am just fine. I wish I had not waited till I was 48.

What has been your career journey to this point?

Before I found out I had adhd and before I took these great blue and white pills every morning (an antidepressant which is prescribed for adhd) my life just never felt right. There was always a big black hole in me, or so it felt. It needed filling up, but I could not find what with.

Now it is full. Just like that. No more questions.

Oh and also: I do no longer count each night how few friends I have. I never count my friends anymore. There are too many.

How did you make doing what you love to do happen?

I had at some point decided to be an artist. I made mixed media stuff with ironic quotes that I had picked up in conversations or magazines. But to sell I had to study online marketing. Then I looked into copywriting and realised I knew how to do that already.  My artist  blog picked up and a friend asked me to do a blogging workshop. It took off from there.

When did you know what it was?

When I realised how much I liked copywriting and that there was a great need for people to learn how to write effectively in this age of content marketing, even if they don’t know it themselves.

Can you share the good, the bad and the ugly when you made the decision to do what you love to do?

I was just starting to get back to work when I started the Blog Academy so there were no financial worries. I was not dependent on anyone. I did not need to suck up to anyone. I could just be my old critical ex-journalist me. And write about how to raise a blog.

In the beginning I had a business partner who was no real partner. Teaming up is not always the best thing to do.

What were the biggest hurdles, challenges and barriers you had to overcome?

At first I had few readers. It took ages for the blog to take off. A year or so. Keeping at it was the hardest. And finding out what my readers really wanted to buy from me.

What was easy? What was a surprise?

Writing a blog each week has been easy. I take every Friday off to write it. I love my Fridays.

What led you to this love specifically?

I have always loved writing and have always done so. Along the way, working for a newspaper,  I forgot how much fun it really is. I am glad I rediscovered.

What would be your top 5 pieces of advice, or suggestions, words of wisdom you would like to share?

• If you are unhappy: find out why. Then make it better.
• If you happen to get a psychiatric diagnosis in the course of  that: don’t fight it for too long. Then make yourself better, or as well as you can. Do the running, the healthy eating, the sensible amount of sleeping and take the damn pills. You will never look back.
• Enjoy your family and love them to bits
• Take care of people who need care
• Only do what you love – if you can

What has been your biggest learning in the journey so far?

That doing good work brings you good friends and customers.

What piece of wisdom did someone give you that worked for you?

Think hard before you write down the first line.

What’s next for you on this path?

A course on how to illustrate your own blog. The copywriting course is reasonably thought-out by now. The illustration course will be a new adventure for my own pleasure.

What was the biggest piece of learning you picked up and ran with?

Just start. And improvise along the way.

Pick a quote for life, and explain why it hits a home run for you?

There is a 17th century Dutch painter and engraver by the name of Goltzius who had a motto I love. His motto was: ‘Eer boven golt’ which translates as: ‘Honour above gold.’

I have always balked at doing things I don’t believe in. And I treasure the freedom to say no. Gold has never been my main goal. Being able to be difficult I value much more.

Where to reach you?

Since most of my work is in Dutch I don’t think people will visit. But I tweet and here’s the Blog Academy Blog.

Meet Rowan Blaisdell, a massage therapist (LMT) in Durango Colorado.

I asked Rowan to contribute to the Do What You Love to Do Interviews because he has such a great career journey: from chef to carpenters assistant, to baker and back to cabinet maker, then onward to a self employed Massage Therapist, all with a degree in degree in sociology and anthropology. And yes, the other reason for asking Rowan is due to the fact the profession he is in is still 85% predominantly female (Source).

Rowan sent a huge reply, and I’m publishing it unedited. Why? Because if you are someone who is thinking of retraining. returning to school or wanting to make a complete shift, this is how it went for someone else and it’s (I feel) better to have a full story than snippets.

“After 15 years as a custom cabinetmaker, as well as a few years of artisan bread baking, I found my way to massage therapy. My hands like to be busy, and I like to help others feel better, so it’s a good fit for me.”

1. What does doing what you love to do mean to you?

“Doing what you Love to do” for me has been a constantly evolving process. What that means to me has not shifted, but the content of my life certainly has as my own ideas of right livelihood and personal satisfaction have morphed and changed. Doing what I love means to me that I am fulfilled both personally and professionally.

2. How are you living your life doing what you love to do?

Right now part of doing what I love includes time not doing my career full time. My wife works full time, and our 12 and 13 year old daughters fall under my care much of the time. Now that school has started back up it’s time for me to focus in a bit more on my own practice and building that up in a new city. But part of my passion and joy in doing what I love is caring for my family.

3. Describe your career journey up until now

My “career journey” has been a journey to be sure. All through high school, college and beyond I worked in restaurants, gradually working my way up to chef.  I have a degree in sociology and anthropology and thought I would end up teaching some day, but after college I became less interested in that path.

I continued to work in restaurants until I finally couldn’t take the nights, weekends, stress and environment of that life anymore.

I got a job as a carpenter’s assistant with a company that built high-end custom homes. I had no idea how to do any part of this job, but I liked being more physical and seeing the end result of my work.

After a year or so of this I was becoming more and more disenchanted with my employer. The last straw for me was being “sold” to the new painter for the duration of the project. I decided then that I would leave, planning on giving notice asap. Then I met the painter that the owner had hired for the job and my life took yet another turn.

A woman called Lynzi Wildheart was from Texas and recently landed in Western Massachusetts looking for work. She was a politically active feminist musician, and we hit it off like we had known each other our whole lives. She remains my sister to this day. We decided to form a painting company and go into business together. This was my first taste of being self employed, and it would shape the rest of my life.

We did well, Lynzi and I, doing mostly commercial work, and making more money than I had ever made before. Towards the end of a year-long nursing home job, I decided that painting wasn’t giving me the level of personal satisfaction that I needed. I enrolled in a custom cabinetry training program and started working with wood.

While I was on construction sites I would often see the cabinetmakers come in and install their work. I was always drawn to the finer aspects of what they did, and so when I had the opportunity to use my father-in-law’s wood shop while we were renting their house, I decided to give it a go.

A year later I hung out my shingle and began making cabinets. The best and worst thing about being self employed in America is that for many jobs there is no regulation regarding proficiency of a trade. I had no clue how to do most of the jobs I got until I worked my way through them. I ended up doing a lot of jobs for very little money because I often had to remake something that didn’t turn out as it should have. Luckily for my clients, I never delivered a project until it was right, so the learning curve was all behind the closed doors of my shop.

My wife and I move around a lot. I don’t know why we do this, but it has seriously impacted both of our careers. Each time we moved it meant starting from scratch in a place that knew nothing of me or the quality of my work.

When we moved to Vermont from Massachusetts we discovered our neighbor had built a wood-fired oven and was turning out some of the most beautiful bread I had ever seen. I mentioned one day that if he ever wanted to get out of that business, I would love to step in. Six months later I was the new owner of the company and had built my own oven.

I continued to build up my cabinet business as well, baking three days a week and spending the remaining time in the shop. It was a busy time, and we had our girls who were 1 and 2 at the time. My wife and I always felt strongly about not putting the kids in day care. This meant one of us was always on hand, and therefore not working outside the home full time.

This to me is huge part of “doing what you love”. Having time to be there for our family.

After a couple of years, we made a move to New Hampshire, selling the house and bakery as a package to two great folks who are still running the business today. Our plan was to move to an area of greater population density and using the first bakery as a model, open up another one. It was an absolute disaster financially and we closed the doors after 8 months, having lost all of our substantial profit from the sale of the original bakery.

Luckily I had my cabinetry skills to fall back on, and I scraped up enough credit to buy some more machinery and opened an another shop.

We moved again to Maine and yet another cabinet shop was opened and again I began anew to build a clientele. I was settling into a decent groove in Maine. I was getting bigger and more challenging jobs and my clients were pleased with the results. Then the economy tanked. Suddenly I was working for less and less, but doing the same job. Eventually it just got too hard to make a livable wage. The clients didn’t have the level of available cash they once did, and the jobs were fewer and farther between. I had become disillusioned with the work. I had spent the better part of 15 years making very expensive items for people who often had more money than sense. I didn’t want to be part of that culture of consumerism anymore. It felt wrong. It felt like I had more to give.

4. How did you make doing what you love to do happen for you?

In general, when I get really excited about something, I jump in with both feet. Right off the cliff, and once I’m in the air I figure out the best way to land.

My decision to go to massage school was similar. I briefly looked at nursing, Physician Assistant, Nurse Practitioner, even med school. I had two concerns with all these paths. First, since I had a humanities and not a science college degree, I would need to basically start from scratch with my schooling. This would mean giving up my life, and especially my family life, for many years. I didn’t feel like I could do that at the age my kids were at. They needed me more than that.

The other issue was the reality of what my day would look like in any of those professions. Too many patients, too little time, and likely I would be answerable to supervisors who needed to watch the financial bottom line more than the quality of care. It didn’t feel right. I found a massage program that felt good to me. It was on the weekends, so I could continue to work part time, and I would still have plenty of time for my family. I had been saving for a more expensive program, so I was able to pay for the whole thing up front, and I just leaped off the cliff.

5. When did you know what your ‘love work’ was?

For better or worse, I was raised with the idea that I could be/do anything I wanted to. If something catches my attention, I go all in. I obsess and research and allow myself to be consumed with it.

Often this only lasts for a very brief period of time before it loses it’s shine. If it holds my attention long enough, then it may be that I try it on for work and see if it’s viable. I had thought about massage therapy for years, ever since a good friend in VT went that direction and gave me a free session. I loved it. More than that, I loved the environment. I loved the soft music, the mellow room, the quiet. I loved the idea of caring for another person in such a profound way.

Before this I’m not sure I ever thought much about health care or healing. I don’t mean “Healing”, as in “I will Heal you”. I mean the kind of healing we all do each day. The mending of hurts both physical and emotional. Unfortunately our world is not currently set up to take time out and move inwards. To check in and see what parts of us we need to pay attention to.

An hour of massage isn’t just about the physical benefits of that manual manipulation of tissues and limbs. It’s about having a chance to let down. It’s about allowing ourselves to renew our reserves that keep us feeling strong inside too. Being able to facilitate that kind of thing for others appealed to me on a very deep level. I wanted to do this.

6. Can you share the good, the bad and the ugly when you made the decision do what you love to do?

When I made the decision to go to school for massage therapy, there were a number of concerns that I very consciously set aside.

I’ve always felt that part of why I’m here is to push through what I’m uncomfortable with.

My reasons for not pursuing this were mostly fear-based:

“What if I can’t make a living doing this?”

“What if I’m bad at it”

“What if I hate it once I get into it?”

The desire to do the work you love is stronger than fear.

I’m not sure I can even say why I had such a strong drive towards this, it was just the direction of the flow, and I was moving along with it. I would deal with those things as they popped up.

One of the best things about making this choice for me was the training itself. I loved going back to school. I loved doing something every week or two that was just mine. I loved my classmates and my teachers. The 20 hour weekends, with 5 hours of driving on top of it, were hard. But it was a good pace for me and allowed me to absorb the information deeper than if I had done a full time program.

7. What were the biggest hurdles, challenges and barriers you had to overcome?

The hardest thing was our personal finances while I was in school. I wasn’t working full time, and for awhile I wasn’t even working part time. Our house was a burden and it was hard to meet the bills. On top of that, Anna and I like to spend time together. The less we see of each other, the more stressed we tend to be when we’re together. With my weekends booked, we had to be more creative to make sure we were getting enough time to ourselves.

8. What was surprisingly easy?

One thing that surprised me along this path was how much I loved this work. I had been a Reiki Master/teacher for 5 years, so I was familiar and comfortable with having people on my table. But massage is different. Your client is undressed, and the level of physical contact is much more intimate.

I don’t know about others who choose this work, but I really didn’t know if I was going to be ok with this until I tried it. I have always been a physical person. I like to hug my friends, I like to show my affection for others in a physical way.

Massage though, was not something I did. I had a bad experience when I was twelve with a guy in my town. It was not massage, but that’s what he called it. He was a predator. Suffice to say that as I grew older massage was not something that I did for others causally as some people do. Many who find themselves going into this field have always given back rubs, foot rubs, that kind of thing. Not me. Not once. No way.

So, here we are, on the first day of school. Our teacher says we will be starting on legs and glutes, and pairs me up (understandably) with the only other man in the class. I asked him to be on the table first. I did not want to prolong this in any way. I got him settled face down, undraped a leg, and off I went. You know what? It was fine. It was a little awkward, it was not the best leg massage ever witnessed. But I felt comfortable. I was relieved, to say the least.

It was one of those moments when something that you know has been holding you back is let go of. Just put it down and walk away, you don’t need to carry that anymore. So that was a very pleasant surprise.

9. What led you to this love work specifically?

As I said, I had been a reiki practitioner for five years. I loved that work. The more I did it, the more I got clear on what I loved about it. I loved that experience of providing a place for people to let go. I was humbled by the trust placed in me. It was a sacred space, and my clients felt safe, cared for, and nurtured. They often broke down.

I learned a lot about how to hold space for someone who is releasing trauma.

When physical contact is helpful and when it’s not. How to be sympathetic with my client, but not move into a panicked or sorrowful place with them. To anchor the energy so they could do what they needed to do to move this out of their bodies, and know that they were safe.

The longer I did this work, the more information I craved. I felt muscle and bone under my hand, but I didn’t know what they were called or what their function was. I wanted to be able to pull and stretch my clients. I wanted to know how to loosen a tense muscle. I wanted a deeper understanding of the body, and the license to manipulate it to achieve a greater balance. massage was the path to that goal.

10. What would be your top 5 pieces of advice, or suggestions, words of wisdom you would like to share?

• Sit with what your fear is really about. How do you feel when it comes? Do you feel like an adult or a child? If the worst thing happened, how bad would that really be?

•  “Doing what you love” for work may be the quickest way to drain the joy out of a pleasurable activity. We all need things that are not work that feed us. Work and play are often two very different things.

• Shadow someone who does what you want to do. Remember that their day is not your day, it’s their day. But it might give you some insight into how it feels to do that job.

• Don’t get discouraged by how many others are doing “the same thing”. They’re not. No one will do this like you will do it.

• There is always a way to make it happen. Don’t give up.

11.What has been your biggest learning in the journey so far?

Happily, my “biggest learning” had been that the more I learn in this field, the more I know I don’t know. I’m a great massage therapist. I have great hand skills and great instincts. I could stop there, but there is so much that I don’t know that I will never get bored with this. My choices of research and personal growth are endless.

12.What piece of wisdom did someone give you that worked for you?

One of the things that this field does well is impress upon it’s students the idea of self care. We cannot be there for our clients if we are not first there for ourselves. This holds true no matter what your career. You come first.

13.What’s next for you on this path?

I’m in a new city, in a new state. Virtually no one knows me. I need to get out there and let this community know what I can offer them. Building a practice is an uphill climb. It takes time. I’m very fortunate to have a partner who makes a good living. I will be building my practice, and caring for my family. Those are the two most important things to me, and one without the other would not truly be me “doing what I love”

14.What was the biggest piece of learning you picked up and ran with?

Nothing is forever. I don’t expect to be a massage therapist forever. It’s what I’m doing right now, and I love it, and I love that every day the work teaches me more of what I need to know. At some point I will be pulled in another direction. It may be related to this field or not, but the skills I am building now will be part of that path, wherever it may lead.

Lastly, pick a quote you like, and explain why it hits a home run for you?

Be true to yourself. Don’t let anyone, including “society” stop you from pursing whatever makes you truly happy.

Contact Rowan

I am a massage therapist in Durango Colorado. Between running my business and caring for my family I cook, (for fun), I hike, I play guitar. I have been known to eat cookies and drink wine simultaneously. You can visit my massage website here or take a visit to my blog. If you’re in the area come and connect on Facebook or on Twitter.

 

Do you have a question for Rowan? Are you thinking of entering a new career in a similar field and want some more insight? Ask away…