Do you constantly compare yourself to others in your little biz? Do you come online to do some business work and before you know it you’re looking at your peers websites, offerings and services and wishing you could do it just like them? Do you become disheartened? Do you then look back at your own stuff and think it’s not good enough?
Yuk.
Okay you, there isn’t a problem with making a comparison.No, no, not when you’re choosing your gas and electric supplier or which cat-hotel to leave your furry-friend for a couple of weeks. But it sure as hell becomes one when you go beyond weighing up one thing against another logically to comparing yourself to them.
That is a problem.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had the ‘I wanna be like them conversation’ with little business owners: highly skilled experienced individuals comparing themselves, their work, their message, their websites, their programs, events, products, blogs, writing, content, offering, popularity … and so on with another. Someone they know, or even someone they don’t.
Even the other week I had a conversation with little biz owner who ‘didn’t want to launch their blog because they wanted to be as good as….’
Insanity.
When you’re looking outwards and having thoughts such as, ‘I wish I’d thought of that’ or ‘How can they do that, what’s wrong with me? or ‘They are so much better than me’ or ‘My stuff isn’t as good as theirs’ you’re on a hiding to nothing.
With love…
There is nobody on the planet, and I mean nobody, who can deliver your message into the world about who you are, what you do and how you do it better than you. Nobody. No such other person exists. They never have before and they never will in the future.
For sure, there are probably people out there who you really admire, and what they are doing is awesome. But they are doing it their way, you can’t ever replicate it, there isn’t another one of them either.
For sure, they actually could be more masterful at some stuff than you? And?
Dealing With Comparison
The fact you’re reading this post tells me you have crossed the biggest hurdle to overcoming comparison. In fact, if this was a race, you’re nearly at the end and about to finish.
Why? Because you are aware. And that is a good thing. You’re aware that sometimes when you observe others and when you want to go down the self punishment path it is doing you no good. Check. Error correction underway.
So let’s bag this one. Ready? Here’s a few things to try (read: try, that means taking action!)
Change Your Thoughts
When you see something that someone else has produced created or put out there and you are about to make a comparison tell your lizard brain (the one that has you locked in fears of not being good enough) to, ‘Shut the feck up’. Turn. It. Down.
Then…
Appreciate
Do you love what you’re about to compare? Is it something you would have loved to have come up with? Is it awesome? Is it beautiful? Inspiring? Creative?
Put comparing out the picture for a second, if it had been you that had produced it, what feedback would you like to receive? A tweet, a share, a quick email saying ‘I love what you’ve produced’, a note saying ‘this is really fantastic’. Then do it. Appreciate rather than compare.
But they are the competition you cry. And? So what? I’m not asking you to send all your customers and clients their way, I’m asking you as an individual to appreciate what another is doing. Is that too hard? We don’t need feedback, it’s nice to receive though. This is much healthier than comparing.
Focus
Focus on your own stuff. If you want to waste your life wishing you were more like/live a life like/create a business like, I advise you speak to someone who can help you acknowledge your own skills and support you to see your uniqueness.
The problem is with you, not the person you are comparing yourself too. You are the one look outward, perceiving, judging and comparing. You have a business to run, you don’t have the time to waste thinking others are better than you.
And hey, know what? They may be better are certain things, but people are waiting on you to help them your way. One person isn’t going to be right for everyone, focus on the people who you love to serve. Period.
If it’s a skill they have and you don’t, learn it. That’s it. Simple.
Love
Love this and repeat it often, especially straight after point 1 above, ‘I, myself, am enough’. Envy, jealousy, comparison of self against others is (bottom line) fear. The anti-dote to fear is love, so more of it please, for yourself.
And remember everyone has their own stuff going on, a lot of what we think is perfectly perfect is done behind ‘smoke and mirrors’.
You can keep comparing, that’s your choice, but are you comparing the real you to a perception you have of another person/thing/way of life, based solely on what you they have chosen to share with you? What about the things you don’t see?
When you stop comparing what is right here and now with what you wish were, you can begin to enjoy what is. Cheri Huber
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