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Facebook Alone is Not a Marketing Plan

July 6 Dawn

Here’s why…

Yikes!

That message appeared on my Facebook account today, okay it was just temporary unavailable ten minutes tops (maybe Facebook were adding Skype to my page first!), and not for one second did I think Facebook had waved the white flag at Google+, pulled the shutters down and closed up shop!

If you already know that Facebook is a marketing tactic, stop reading and go and update your FB status, this post isn’t really for you. Or stick around, I’d love your thoughts on this one.

First, I do believe that if you have a business, using Facebook as your business is a must, as long as you know the reason behind why you have decided to include it in your bigger picture.

Over a billion users, and probably a few tens of thousands more by the time I hit publish button on this post is a good reason to use Facebook, but is it a good enough reason why?

However solely relying on Facebook is not a good strategy…unlike your own website you have no control over what Facebook, well, what Facebook does with Facebook.

You don’t have a contract, no Terms and Conditions of service, no immediate help desk. They can pull the plug and all your relationships, content, shares, hard work goes with it.

You don’t technically own your page, Facebook does. No, honest it belongs to Facebook. You don’t own Facebook ;-)

To me, it’s like giving your content away to a third party, hoping that they will never lose or disappear with it, that’s a lot of trust in something you and I don’t even pay for.

As a plan, just Facebook is not a great plan. Neither is just Twitter, just Linkedin, just blogging, just a website, just social bookmarking.

I’m picturing ‘eggs, baskets, all in’, I don’t know about you?

I think a better strategy would be (including having own email list first or make it a priority): integrating Facebook (and any other digital media) as one of the tactics you use, that complements your website/blog and gives a richer customer/client/user experience. That the effort and hard work goes on your static site/blog .

The place where you do have nearly complete control over, the website you own and host.

I say nearly, because anything can happen.

Can you afford anything to be ‘temporarily unavailable’?
Do you have any thoughts? Opinions? Comments?

Dog Tricks and The Keys To Personal Success – Seriously, Recruit Your 4 Legged Friend

July 5 Dawn

I’ve been teaching Inca doglet dog tricks, as opposed to cat tricks, ’cause em, she’s a dog!

And she’s making (cough cough) wonderful progress.

Don’t know Inca? Ah. Right. She’s a collie.

She’s a smart collie.

She’s a smart, typical collie.

She’s a smart, typical, highly intelligent collie that requires lots of stimulation, otherwise the socks get it!

She’s that smart!

Aside: I sometimes think in my ‘mindfulness moments’ she’s been sent to me from those ‘higher powers’, so I can learn some deeper ‘zen like’ lessons about patience, understanding and tolerance. If so, the ‘universe’ is having a right old laugh.

Anyhoo…

I bought a book called The Only Dog Tricks Book You’ll Ever Need, and I’m thinking about adding it to one of the ‘Best Self Help/Personal Growth Books Ever’ list, well I would, if I had a list with that title.

I’ve had the book a while and just today flicked through the first few chapters.

Yes, I jumped straight to the tricks — there’s a lesson learned. Between you and me, I actually read the last page of any book first, ever since I watched When Harry Met Sally.

Page 11 has a the title ‘The Keys to Training Success’. I wanted to share them with you because:

a) sometimes we can learn things from the strangest of places

b) they can be completely transferred into our non canine world

c) they make perfect sense

d) it gives me a chance to work through my ‘Inca Issues!’ ;-)

Here goes…

Introduction:

Book says ‘most keys to success are universal, but it helps if you use the ones that fit your personality.’

Light Bulb!

How true is that? How many of us try to develop ourselves using tools that just don’t fit with our personality or learning styles? For example, vision boards over writing goals, or a firewalk over 6 months coaching for breaking through a limiting belief. Same results, different methods.

Do you prefer to learn in groups, 1:1, by listening, seeing, hands on? Do you actually know? What’s your preferred learning style? Visual, auditory or kinesthetic. We learn best when we choose the methods that suits our strongest preference.

Key 1: Be Patient

Book says ‘all dogs learn at different speeds and often don’t grasp concepts as quickly as we think they should. Having patience with your dog will help her success’

Human translation: stop beating yourself up, mentally and emotionally, if you aren’t getting any new learning ‘right’ first time. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t let others dictate where you should be at.

Key 2: Plan Ahead

Book says ‘set your dog up to succeed, if your dog isn’t getting it, the behaviour probably needs to be broken down into smaller steps’

Human translation: all big goals require smaller steps put in place. All little goals completed successfully eventually are the larger sum of the big goals. Your behaviour, the actions you take, what you actually do will determine the final outcome. If something isn’t working, look at your behaviour.

Key 3 Be Realistic

Book says ‘dont expect your dog to perform a behaviour in an environment you haven’t taught him’

Human translation: This is a big a-ha.

Have you ever considered how the environment affects your behaviour, state of mind or emotional well being? It can include your actual physical environment or even the company that you keep. Do you perform better in certain environments than others or with certain people?

A simple life example: as a trainer I’ve been in a few physical spaces to deliver training. If the environment is small, cramped, no natural light, uncomfortable, looks like a training room, I’ll ask for somewhere else. Why? Because the environment will affect the states of any participants. If the environment screams ‘sad, unclean, cold, unwelcoming’, no way will that be a good place to learn anything.

Take a look around today just at your physical environment, is it working for you?

Key 4 Be Kind

Book says ‘use positive methods to teach your dog what is expected of her’

Human translation: Don’t pass through any small success to quickly. Give yourself small rewards. As simple as saying to yourself ‘that was a job well done’ to an actual reward ‘when I achieve this, I’ll take the evening off and…’. You’ll know what you class as a reward.

Give yourself a reason for actually carrying out a task or similar. What will happen when you achieve it?

Key 5 Avoid Punishment:

Book says ‘harsh corrections have no place in the learning phase of your dogs development, instead teach your dog what you want him to do’

Human translation: Wonderful. Love it. What does it mean to you?

End the negative, self destructive and self sabotaging ‘mental chit chat’. There’s no place for it.

Think about this, imagine if you were aware during your most developmental years as a human being. Perhaps the time that included when you were learning to crawl and walk.

Would you give yourself a harsh correction everytime you fell down? No, course not. You just tried again.

And perhaps not as obvious, we are very good at focusing on unwanted behaviour: ‘I musn’t, I shouldn’t, I don’t want, I need to, I have to’ and not focusing in on the behaviour we want. Focus on the desired result ‘I will, I am, I choose to, this time I’ll, I love’, massive difference!

Key 6 Reward Effectively:

Book says ‘reinforce behavior with what motivates your dog a pat on the head is nice, but not necessarily what she wants. remember her paycheck, pay up.

Human translation: What motivates you? Have you ever sat down and worked out what drives you? Do you need external rewards or internal? Do you need someone to acknowledge your behaviours and actions or can you do it for yourself?

Key 7 Be Generous:

Book says ‘be generous all new trainers tend to cheat with reward, reward correct responses often and don’t be afraid to reward exceptionally good responses with extra treats, praise, toys and love’

Human translation: Be generous to yourself and others. Give to yourself freely with no guilt. Give to others expecting nothing in return. And the biggest learning is ‘don’t be afraid’. Don’t be afraid to reach out and give freely to another. Don’t be afraid to put someone before yourself just for a time. Don’t be afraid to offer someone what they need, regardless of who they are.

Key 8 Set Goals

Book says ‘if you dont know where you are going and have not planned out the session, how will you know when your dog’s got it’

Human translation: well, what can I say. Key 8 doesn’t need another explanation. If you don’t know where you’re heading, how on earth will you knoe you’ve arrived. The next stage is to goal set through.

Key 9 Practice Often:

Book says ‘often teach your dog in short, frequent sessions’

Human translation: How often do you ‘give up’ on a goal, plan, idea because things aren’t going exactly the way you planned?

Do you try to cram in too much, too soon? Are you an information sponge, yet, never apply what you read and learn? Our brains need ‘downtime’, the need to be able to process new information, we need to fit the new learning into what our current experience of the world is.

Key 10 Stay Positive

Book says ‘quit with your dog wanting more an enthusiastic student is always eager to learn’

Human translation: As a trainer, one of my mottos is ‘leave a learner wanting to find out more’. I love when a learner or client ‘quits’. The day when they have passed through everything I have to share and they move on to something or someone else, as they are the best person for next part of the learning journey, that can only be a good thing.

As the saying goes ‘A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary’ Thomas Carruthers

Do you push yourself so hard only to lose enthusiasm and the vision of your goal?

Isn’t it funny, how sometimes learning can come from the strangest of places. I mean a dog tricks book? Eyes open, the answers are there!

Your Turn…

Have you ever learned anything from somewhere, somebody or something you least expected to? Feel free to share in the comments below. OR, what have your pets taught you?

So, Are You A Genius? Oh, You SOOOO Are!

June 28 Dawn

What’s a genius anyway?

How do you know you aren’t one?

I think…

Thinking independently, is genius
Being gentle to yourself, is genius
Giving back, is genius
Saying I love you, is genius
Comforting a child, is genius
Admitting your weaknesses, is genius
Doing something about them is remarkable and genius
Caring for a loved one, is genius
Empathy, is genius
Being willing to learn and grow, is genius
Laughing over spilt milk, is genius
Persistence, is genius
Starting and not waiting, is genius
Genius is realising that if it isn’t working, having the conviction to change it.
Accepting and giving love, that is genius
Allowing yourself to ‘be’, that is genius
Letting go of the past, is genius
Confronting and overcoming fears, is genius
Standing up for injustice, is genius.

Would you like to add to the ‘what is genius’ list? Feel free!

Why Perfectionism and Business Don’t Mix

June 28 Dawn

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. John Henry Newman

Are you one? A perfectionist?

Do you want to be the person with the business that has no faults, blemishes and pimples?
Does the thought of anyone picking holes in what you’re doing, disagreeing with or not liking your ‘stuff’ whisk you up into a cold sweat?
Do you think your perfectionism is actually a strive for excellence in your business?

Yes? Keep reading.

No? Go and do something else.

Not sure? Here’s a test, I’ll hang on for you!

Why Business and Perfectionism Don’t Mix

It can stop you ‘being yourself’, and people i.e. your potential customers/clients/prospects need to know who they are doing business with.
It can prevent you taking a calculated risk, accepting a challenge and stepping up.
It can kill your creativity and imagination because you spend the time defending yourself and observing your own success.
It’s frustrating, it’s stressful and causes anxiety.
It wastes time. So much time!

Let the battle commence…

I’m in recovery from perfectionism. Yeah, we’re all in recovery for something. This was (one of) mine. And I use the word recovery, because I’m not going to say to you that one day I woke up and I was completely cured from my affliction.

Weird, you’d expect an (ex) perfectionist to be perfectly healed, huh? Ha!

There are occasions when the battle continues.

It could be a new idea for a project, a workshop, a blog post, a piece of writing, a comment made on someone else’s blog, a graphic, a header, geez even a Facebook update or a tweet, sometimes the perfectionism lurgy can raise it’s head.

Recovery means that it’s a journey: most of the time (now) it’s not an issue, but some days I can fall back into the perfectionists behaviours, including the occasional negative mental chitchat that perfectionism feeds and thrives on. I’m not sure if a complete cure will ever be achieved. But at least the perfectionist days are well outnumbered. Mainly using the tips I’m going to share with you below.

But first.

Excellence and Perfectionism Are Not One and The Same

Here’s a gift for you…

Perfectionism is setting your own standards too high. If you don’t ‘make it’ then you come down harsh on yourself.

The strive for excellence is the setting of high standards and to accept that mistakes and errors will be made. No harshness, just learning.

See, BIG difference. I’d say a strive for excellence even sounds better!

A Little Psychology…

According to Hamchek there are two types of perfectionism ‘normal’ and ‘neurotic’.

Hamchek says normal perfectionists are always striving to do their best, they get a (healthy) kick out of putting in the slog to be near darned perfect.

Neurotic perfectionists never obtain satisfaction in what they are doing because in their eyes they will never be good enough.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think any type of perfectionism is healthy (now). I can’t put together ‘healthy’ and ‘perfectionism’ in the same sentence any more. Mainly because of the stress and ill health it creates.

How To Know if Perfectionism is Screwing You and Your Business Up…

Try these…

1. How do you feel when you have made a mistake and it’s been seen by others?

Perfectionists answer: awful, embarrassed, shamed, I must retreat for a few days!
Non perfectionist answer: ah well, oops, live and learn!

2. When have you held back because what you were working on wasn’t ‘quite right’?

Perfectionist answer: em, well, it wasn’t right.
Non perfectionist answer: em, much better out there and seen, rather than on my desktop.

3. Growing up, did anyone have extremely high expectations of you? Do you ask them of others?

4. Do you get frustrated when things don’t go to plan, even though it wasn’t your fault?

5. Do you stop expressing how you really feel?

6. Are you a time waster?

Seemingly procrastination and perfectionism aren’t related. Perfectionism wastes time, because of the strive for no errors, mistakes, opportunities for people to judge. Perfectionists get a lot done, but never to the standard they are happy with.

Right, Are You Up For a Challenge?

Read this first:

According to research people who solve this puzzle in 5 seconds or less are more likely to reach their goals.

In the picture is a face.

All you need to do is find the face.

In 5 seconds or less.

GO!

Did you find it?

In 5 seconds or less?

Okay Here’s The Truth

There is no research, nobody has ever said people who solve this puzzle in 5 seconds or less are more likely to reach their goals.

Who were you competing against?

Yourself? The “research”?

If you didn’t ‘see’ it, how did you feel? Frustrated? Annoyed? Angry at yourself? Peeved that you never made the goal in 5 seconds? Not good enough?

Okay, transfer all that into other areas where you feel the need to be perfect. Unhealthy?

The perfectionists only competition is with themselves.

7 1/2 Tips to Ditching Perfectionism to Save Your Sanity

1. Hang out with people that will slap you…

Okay, not physical violence, that’s just wrong.

I mean, hang out with people that will be able to help you put a sudden end to perfectionism.

People that you trust, people who are good for you. People who are on the same wavelengths. People who you can send a quick email, pick the phone, have a call on Skype. Tell them you have the case of the perfectionisms! They will ‘slap’ it. Even better is to tell someone what to do before the call ever takes place (see No 5 below).

2. See it as the enemy, not your work

Today you can only do your best, and tomorrow your best will be better, and the day after that even better still.

Acknowledge that you’re ‘just being a perfectionist‘, one of the keys to any change is admitting it’s there in the first place.

3. Question your own beliefs

Perfectionism isn’t ‘out there’, it resides within you. It can only appear because of the beliefs you have. Revisit the people ‘mentally’ who put high expectations on you or who help you form your beliefs around perfectionism.

4. Set your own rules/boundaries

Start by saying ‘my best, right now, is good enough‘. You can only get better, the more you grown, learn, age, experience. Of course what you are doing right now may not your best in a few years time, that’s okay. That’s business!

Heck, that’s the core of business to be good at what you do and get better. That’s excellence in action. The perfectionist doesn’t ‘see’ this. They expect it all to be perfect now. I’d recommend you have a set of rules in place. Know what you will do when perfectionism is creeping in.

5. Know your own triggers

There is a great tool that called WRAP, wellness recovering action planning. One of the parts of the tool is to identify what you will do BEFORE the unwanted behaviour starts to occur, so you can nip it in the bud before it takes root. So for instance, I know that procrastination was a symptom of my perfectionism.

I had identified that ‘trigger’. That meant that I could nip it in the bud quicker.

6. Acknowledge your mistakes, get help on your weaknesses

Yes. That means saying ‘whoops I screwed up’ every now and then. Seriously, do you honestly believe people will not forgive you for making a mistake? Go back to No 3. This is a belief that just isn’t true.

7. Set realistic goals

That means goals that are within your reach and not out of sight. Sure, have the HUGG ones, (Huge Unbelievable Gigantic Goals) they are there to motivate and inspire. Internal motivation comes from acknowledging small goals every step of the way.

7 1/2. Put on the back burner the ideas and projects that you aren’t ready for, yet.

Oh, this is a biggie, but your business and sanity I do hope you ‘get’ what I mean. I’m not saying give up or don’t start. As a solo business owner you have that entrepreneurial ‘streak’ within you, and you’ll have the ideas, no doubt about it.

Get one thing done to completion, have it 95% to your liking and get it out there. You can tweak as you go. You probably also have ideas for projects, ask yourself honestly ‘can I do this now?’, do you have all the resources? Solo biz owners (in my experience) try to do everything all at once.

The door to burnout is aiming for perfection in every area.

The key to excellence is master one thing, then move onto the next.

Thoughts?

Genuinely, Are You Authentic?

June 24 Dawn

“The authentic self is the soul made visable” Sarah Ban Breathnach

Do you remember cabbage patch kids? They gave me the creeps!

What about one those annoying little Furbys?

Are you the proud owner of a Steiff Teddy bear?

And if you do have the The Real McKoy (that’s Scottish-ness for the genuine article) version lurking in your attic, you’ll also have their Certificate of Authentication.

That’s the proof that they aren’t fake: rip offs, a sorry second on the real version, cloned alternatives, probably sold from the back of lorry.

But dodgy looking dollies, and annoying freaky furballs aside…

What Does Authenticity Mean to You?

Is it any of these?

‘Be yourself’
‘Be true to who you are’
‘Sit in alignment with what you believe’
”Be honest’
‘Stand out’
‘Own your own voice’

Authenticity has become a big word recently, especially in business.

Authentic simple means not fake.

Genuine.

Congruent: who you say you are, is what you are, what you are on the outside, is who you are on the inside.

To be true to who you are, not a copycat, or second rate version of someone else.

And I think, although the word is well said, the behaviour of the word isn’t, and I’m guilty as charged!

But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Why Is Authenticity Hard-ish?

I believe, it’s not because we can’t do it, but because it feels incredibly vulnerable and my second opinion is the word has been mucked about with too much.

It can be scary, frightening even, to ‘just be yourself!’

In business, to ‘just be yourself’ people may turn away not liking what they see. Deep down we may not want to share those inner and hidden parts of us that are reserved for the people that know us well. Hence it being vulnerable.

We may choose to hide behind websites, smart words, blogs and logos.

In my personal life, authenticity is a core value, and it is in business as well, but for some reason the early years of self employment it was a real struggle.

And if you can relate, that doesn’t sit well, does it?

You see if I had stuck with the core value, all would have been well. Sadly, I confused it all.

A few examples:

Updating my personal profile on facebook, easy. My business page, ages.
Using ‘we’ on a website, when it’s just me. Why? To appear and seem bigger?
Personal profile picture: airbrushed and professional looking for business and the real me on Facebook personal page.
Playing it ‘safe’ so as not to risk offending anybody.
Watching how others did ‘stuff’ and trying (and failing miserably) to replicate it in my business.
Lurking! Not taking part, just watching from the sidelines.

I did deliver what I said and promised, it’s the ‘soul made visable‘ part I’ve tussled with.

Faker You’re Spotted

When I was little my folks used to (I think) shop regularly at the ‘Fallen Off The Back of The Lorry’ department store!

This isn’t a sob story, just fact.

I knew no different, not until they broke. Or they were removed from me because of the lethal parts popping out. They only lasted so long before they fell to pieces. Although they were good copies, they still never looked or behaved the same as the ones that were original.

authentic — Does he need an introduction?

I’m not saying here that you must buy the best of stuff for your children (or risk a trip in a police car). This is just a metaphor. In fact, I only ever remember one toy from childhood, Mr Potato Head, he rocked and he was a cheap as chips, sorry!

Anyway, the metaphor.

We can only ‘be’ and ‘act’ in accordance to our own beliefs. We can’t maintain what we aren’t.

People begin to mistrust. People are smart, really smart. Can spot a faker a mile away. They shut down, shut you out, turn you off.

Is it not better to be turned off for being yourself, rather than turned off for what you aren’t?

I’d say yes. And it wasn’t until that penny dropped did authenticity in my business become easier. But this isn’t just for business it applies to all areas of life.

7 Ways to Earn Your Own Certificate of Authenticity

1. Go Back to Roots: Write down who you are and what you truly believe in. What are your core values? What will you tolerate and not tolerate? What’s your negotiables and non-negotiables? What will you do if they are crossed?

2. Where Have You Veered? It’s okay if you have, you can undo.What are you currently doing that ‘does not sit well with you’? Why are you doing it? What results are you hoping to achieve? Can you get the same result by being you?

3. The Real You. What do you stand for? What are the parts of you that you keep hidden? You don’t need to share it all, but with what you are hiding if anything, what’s your reason?

4. Why? Why do you think you have mistrusted your own self? What are you afraid that others may find out you? What do you fear might happen if you took the plunge?

5. Commitment. Promise yourself that no matter the challenge, the fear, the possible outcome that you will only ever be true to yourself. What does that mean? Stop copying (model is acceptable) others.

Easy to say, hard to acknowledge is the saying ‘the most intimate relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves’. Commit to getting intimate. That means, loving all of you. Getting cosy with the good and not so good. What your struggling with, so are others!

6. Congruence. You are what you say you are. Accept that not everyone will ‘like’ what they see about you, it really doesn’t matter. Life truly isn’t a popularity contest.

7. Make a Promise. To yourself, nobody else. That you’ll never be the second rate version of someone else. That you’ll never try and copy another because you think there way (or them) is more valuable.

Final Thoughts

Authenticity is easy.

It’s our brains and fears that muck it up. Plus perhaps expecations from others. People will come and go, some will get you, some won’t. And it’s okay. You can’t appeal to everyone. But you can appeal to yourself.

Or, refuse to be authentic, sell youself up from the back of the lorry! Someone will buy you, but when they realise that they have bought into a fake I can pretty much guarantee they won’t purchase a second time.

Back to my original question…

Genuinely, are you authentic?

Have You Been Brainwashed?

June 15 Dawn

Yep, you have.

So have I, and so has everyone else on our planet.

Beliefs and values have been instilled and conditioned in us since our childhood.

Fact.

I grew up in Scotland, and if you also grew up here we would probably share some similar beliefs such as: the weather is awful, the winters are harsh, we are a small nation with big heart, we have a serious issue with heart disease, and we’ll laugh about Scotland ever qualifying for the world cup!

But we’ll have our differences, for example:

I’m a vegetarian, which may give you a picture (based on your beliefs) of a long haired, pale-skinned, ‘hippy’ dressed, tree hugging individual, who seriously needs a good scrub with an antiseptic soap!

You may say to me you ‘work in the city‘, I may picture (based on my beliefs) a well suited, high powered, harsh, cold individual, drinking over prices lattes and credit cards maxed out. (I don’t, that’s not my beliefs!)

You may tell me your a Christian, I may (based on my beliefs) raise my eyebrows, and think ‘God Squad’ and may think you lead a ‘safe’ and boring life. (Again, I don’t, just an example!)

I may tell you I don’t follow any religion, and you may think (based on your beliefs) that I’m doomed, lost, lead a life that is shameful and promiscuous.

Here’s The Problem

The statement ‘based on our beliefs’.

Our beliefs are not the absolute truth.

It takes a brave and very courageous person to ask of themselves ‘is this belief true’ or ‘am I seeing all there is’?

Because the answer may indeed turn a world and life upside down.

And sometimes all it takes is to change a belief is exposing yourself to an alternative.

e.g. If you came from New York and the only experience you had of Scotland was parades, bag pipes and haggis, ginger hair, beer swirling, whisky drinking, kilted ‘och aye’ Scottish-ness, then automatically you would need to question your beliefs about Scotland based on one meeting with me.

So, life.

Yes, it’s easier to not question your beliefs.

It’s easier to go with the ‘norm’, accept the rules, groupthinking and ‘hand-me-down values’ from others.

No carts are overturned and nobody gets hurt.

But easy does not mean best.

Is not to question, to remain asleep?

To remain closed to thousands of other possibilities?

No doubt, my line of work is to help individuals identify what areas of their life aren’t working, identify the beliefs around the area and then to ask the right questions to open up alternatives.

And there probably will be a period of ‘waking up’.

A time when a you perhaps struggle with letting an old belief go, a time of remorse, a realisation of so much time wasted, or perhaps regret, guilt and blame.

But these pass.

The beauty of beliefs: when you question and breakthrough an old, limiting and self sabotaging belief (or brainwash) from the past…you cannot go back to the old belief.