• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Dawn Barclay

Helping you align all that you do with your core values

  • New? Start Here
  • Is This You?
    • You Want to Reclaim Your Courage & Confidence
    • You Want to Align Who You Are With What You ‘Do’ In the World
    • You Need More Moxie for Your Business
    • You Are Looking for Values Training for You or Your Team/Group
  • Work Together
    • Online Workshops & Training (All)
    • Live Events & Training Workshops (All)
    • Upcoming Events (List)
    • ValuesBase© Coaching
  • Blog
  • About
    • Living Moxie Mission & Values
    • Approach & Ethos
    • About Dawn
    • About You, The Moxieologist
    • Kind Words
    • Contact

On Being At War With Yourself

September 21 Dawn

If you could win the war against yourself, in particular, your inner critic, you would have won a very long time ago. As this is probably not going to happen, we can learn how to keep it in a happier and jollier peaceful state.

I’ve noticed that when it comes to unfolding, change, growth, transformation and getting stuff done – in my own life and that of clients – instead of being loving, kind and warm with ourselves we attack, usually by our own words:

‘My biggest problem is …’

‘I’d love to but I know I just can’t’

‘I know this is a stupid idea’

‘I don’t expect this will be easy or that I’ll succeed’

You know how confusing that is to your brain? There is part of your mind willing to change, but there is another part of your mind – stronger because the habitual thinking hasn’t been changed – going to war against it.

You can’t change old programming with the same old programme. It wouldn’t update. You have to install new updated bug-free software.

A brain at war with itself is pretty hairy scary, it causes so much inner turmoil and conflict.

Is this the part where we high-five each other, punch the air, go to Pinterest and pin happy quotes, and never utter a negative word?

It is heckers* like. No, no, no. Do we know each other?!

But,

It’s the part where we put down – or practice to – all weapons we are using against ourselves, words mainly.

And we breathe.

And we look at what we are creating.

And we breathe again.

And we simply notice if we are creating a war zone or a lovefest in our own head.

And we make a choice if we are going to charge ahead with the old thinking, or are we going to look for more peaceful and loving alternatives. Even if it feels slightly uncomfortable.

Examples? Why certainly, here you go:

Instead of: One of the biggest problems I have (which is reminding your brain not to forget about all the problems you have, which are all huge and depending on you feel about you are unpassable)

Could become: One of the solutions I am seeking an answer to at the moment.

Or.

Instead of: I don’t expect this will be easy or that I will succeed (which is reminding your brain to find all the possible hard ways to do something, and remove the joy of the journey)

Could become: This may be a challenge, right now I’m not sure of the way forward, but the success comes in trying anyway regardless of the outcome.

Dawn! I can’t remember all that.

Calm down now.

You don’t have to.

You just have to pause when you’re thinking is on the frontline and ask yourself, ‘Is there another way, a more loving way, of responding and reacting to this’?

Carry on now.

PS: This post was originally one of the daily emails to participants of 100 Days to Done click here to find out more.

*Glossary

Is it heckers like = Scottish for ‘Oh, no it isn’t” (you learn something new every day, huh?)

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Living Moxie Sidebar 1 Hello there you. Once upon a time you were, literally, fully yourself. If you need some help to deploy the most authentic version of you into the world I would love to support you. If this is your first visit click here and let me welcome you properly. Or a great starting place is the resources. Love, Dawn Xo

SELF-PACED WORKSHOPS

#define your core


What do you stand for? What matters to you? To help, download the Core Values Workbook. Click here to find out more.

Recent Posts

  • I Hate the Language of Cancer
  • Scratching Your Itches
  • Let’s Talk About ‘Shooting Yourself In the Foot’
  • On Being Enough
  • Career Hijacking (A Story)
  • It Was Just a Thought
  • Try V’s Committed
  • What Are You (Really) Focusing On?
  • You Are Only As Good as Your Last Fuck Up…
  • Finding Your Way Through (& You Will, You Will)

Recent Comments

  • Dawn on Why Perfectionism and Business Don’t Mix
  • You're Not Perfect! Get Over It and Get Things Done! - Dawn Mentzer, Freelance Marketing Content Writer on Why Perfectionism and Business Don’t Mix
  • Nario on Stop Punishing Your Optimism. Seriously.
  • Roberto Barabbas on 65 Ways To Really Mess Up Your Life
  • joe on Do You Have a Fear of Speaking In Meetings?

For You

  • Blog
  • Updates & Toolkit
  • Confidence Course
  • Define Your Core

Online Programmes & Workshops

the-moxie-project-2 Unfinished Human

Blog Categories

COPYRIGHT © 2017 · LIVING MOXIE · Privacy · Contact · Google+