Dawn Barclay

Helping you align all that you do with your core values

Moxie Business: Creative & Courageous Business

Have You Grown Out of Your Blog? (Life, Career or Biz?)

Writing the story is one thing, altering the story halfway through can be a scary business.

Pretty soon is my ten year anniversary of not working for, or answering to someone else for pay, it feels like a lifetime ago. Oh, wait a minute, it is a lifetime ago.

Back in the dark ages, the business activity was helping long-term unemployed people back into employment. There was no website, no blog, no Facebook (that baby wasn’t born), no social media, no WordPress, that’s right, no WordPress. (Breathe, bloggers, breathe.)

One decade. Can you remember what you were doing a decade ago?

Have you changed? Silly question.

The part in-between from that day to this is a mix of highs, achievements, lows, nightmares, fun, 97% brilliant clients, learning like I have never learned before, wondering if I can pay the mortgage next month, then trips to New York. It’s made me laugh, cry, and for a while pretty ill, up and down, over and round, it really has been one ‘helluva ride.

So what?

Transitions My Love Transitions

Like you, I’ve changed in 10 years. I started a business looking for freedom. Where I am today is choosing to be free (as much as the systems will let me.)

Back then there is no way I would talk to you as I do now, there is no way I would mention the F-word, there is no way I would talk about VJaysJays on Twitter, there is no way that I would sack a client.

Back then that 30-year-old something was trying so hard to fit into her screwed up perception of what a business owner does. The high heels hurt, the hand-bags were ridiculous, the filofax plain annoying, the nice pens always got lost, the pristine professional look wasn’t (and still isn’t) me.

New Stories Waiting to Be Written, Eager to Be Told, What’s Yours?

Take this website (in the past year) it has been my biggest love/hate/hair pull project: if you’re new here you won’t be aware that it has been changed more times than I’ve changed my knickers in the past year.

I know now what’s been happening.

It wasn’t the blog.

Nor the business.

Not even the website.

It’s been me.

If this business was a one of those children-like things, and I their parent, I swear the child would be a rebel devil.

See, you can only contain something that wants to do and be something else for so long before it starts to fight back against the oppressor, nothing can be kept from being a true expression of itself, it comes out eventually.

When was the last time someone or something held on to your hems? What happened in the end? How did it feel? Is it still happening? How’s that going for you?

I’ve been in ‘transition’ for about three years, just not realising it. When I started blogging for business, years after the start-up phase, the stories were sanitised ‘how-to’ posts about CV’s, application forms, general career-sy stuff, and of course personal development, which is a phrase I hardly use anymore.

Creating a Mini-Revolution

I whole-heartedly accept my own mini-evolution. And through this transition (I’m sure there will be more to come) I embrace my mission has grown stronger.

Transition is such a beautiful word.

To transform.

To shift.

To grow.

To develop.

The complete opposite of stagnation and sameness. I don’t want my life, my business, my world to become same old, same old, what about you, for your life? I don’t even want to be known as a ‘coach’ or a ‘trainer’, in fact I don’t want any more labels put upon me, therefore I have to quit placing them on myself.

Isn’t that what we all want?

To not be defined by labels. To not be placed into box, after box, after box with all the roles we play in life? Isn’t that where we begin to lose who we truly are?

So what’s next?

And I ask that to you also. What’s next for you?

Over the past 10 years I’ve been learning information that has nothing to do with changing careers and personal development, I’ve been touching on it here and there in this blog. It is going to help women cut ties and labels so they can transform into what they know they are capable of. That I do know.

Why? Because I utterly believe that there are people in this world who have a MASSIVE mission and message to share. Some of you sitting there will have dreams, plans, ideas and goals that will blow me away when I hear them, I know that. See, it’s going to be an honour to serve you.

Why Am I Sharing This With You?

Partly as an introduction to all the changes around here. And to say…

Everything is just a story. The future you not yet written, how wonderful is that?

If you’ve grown out of parts of you’re life, you’re allowed to transform, to re-write, to create new scripts for yourself.

Be brilliant in your transformation, you don’t need to deny where you have been, just take the brilliant parts with you (and the learning of course.)

Start a crusade, be something to someone – not a sanitised version to everyone.

If you know you’re at a turning point in your life, little biz, career, you already know that you’re going to have go round that corner at some point, don’t you? At some stage you are going to pull up your socks, take a deep breathe and confidently look right round and then step out. It’s coming, you know the time is nearly upon you.

I encourage you to accept that the transformation is a progression to the next stage. What stage? Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t have the answer to that one for you.

See, I believe sometimes we come to a point in life where we realise that all we have be doing until this moment has been in preparation, for something much bigger than we dreamed about 10 years ago.

What if that something else is so remarkable it takes your breathe away?

It’s worth the alteration surely? Yes? No?

‘Till next time.

 

 

When Someone Hates What You’ve Produced

dealing with criticismLet’s assume you have created a piece of work, and you put it out for the world to see: an idea, a plan, a blog post, a hobby project, a presentation.

Let’s say 500 people take a look at what you’ve done.

499 people like it: some praise you, some tell you it’s wonderful, some say nothing.

1 person hates it, and you plus your approach, then tells you publically. 

Who do you listen to the 499 or the 1?

Logically you know:

a) not everyone is going to like your work or what you do (or you).

b) not everyone is going to say ‘well done’.

c) 499 is really a fantastic result.

So why the hell does 1 person make more impact on you than the 499?

I’ve watched this happen to three people last week, and I’ve been there. They have let 1 person decide the value of their work.

Why this really bothers me.

Because I’ve seen too many people being utterly destroyed by folks who’s only remit is to belittle and destroy a person, and the ‘work’ or what they have produced is the easiest way they can begin the attack.

  • One comment can stop a person producing and creating.
  • One comment can stop a person working towards the career and work they dream about.
  • One comment can ruin a persons chances of every claiming back their confidence and self esteem.

If we don’t like something, fine, we can say so, that’s our right, but to rip an individual to shreds because what they’ve produced doesn’t fit with their view of the world (I think) is just wrong, what do you think?

If you’re affected by the ‘one person’ comments, this is a problem that only you can fix.

Because these comments (and people), if you keep producing, growing and changing will keep coming up time and time again.

So you have choices to make and you have work to do:

Choices:

  1. Ignore. And I mean ignore. This isn’t hard, we make it hard because we tie up emotions in there. Ignore means you finding the ‘screw it’ button and turning it on.
  2. If you get the opportunity, ask the person ‘what would you do to improve the work’, don’t wait for answer though, I’ll bet they haven’t got one if they are attacking you and not what you produced.
  3. Pull up your panties and be prepared for negative comments.
  4. Toughen up. I don’t mean grow a hard heart. I mean toughen up. Thick skin and all that. Oh, sorry should get all deep and meaningful here. Screw that. Look, sometimes you just have to toughen up.
  5. Next time aim for 100 people hating it. Why? Get the rid of the myth in your head that in order to be successful you have to liked and loved by everyone. Produce your work, in your voice, in your way, develop your own unique style or blend in to keep everyone happy, your choice.
  6. Listen. And if they have something constructive to say, sure you may learn something. If it’s an attack on you, you’ll know, you’re smart.  Back to number 1.

The work:

If you are emotionally upset by what others think, you have work to do on yourself.

Yes, you do.

It’s not a trip to the therapist, you can do it yourself while lying in bed eating ice cream. I suggest you work out why it bothered you so much and I’ll take a stab it will all be wrapped up in the past.

  1. Who has laughed at your work before?
  2. Who has ever said to you ‘that’s not good enough’?
  3. How were you given feedback growing up?
  4. Did you ever hear ‘try harder’ or ‘next time you can do a little better’?
  5. When has your best never been the best for someone?

Identify the pain behind the comment. That’s the best place to start, I bet you’ll discover that the 1 person comment is a combination of all the people who said your work wasn’t good enough, however you may have learned these messages when you think you heard ‘you aren’t good enough’, big difference.

Your Turn

Have you been the attack of a one person comment? How did you react?

The Benefits of Creating and Starting Mastermind Group (For Any Area of Life)

MastermindEvery Wednesday evening I attend a mastermind, and it’s one of the highlights of my week.  Although the word makes me sound like I belong to a dark secret society, I can assure you no cloak and daggers are being swished and swashed.

Never heard of it?

No, neither had I until a few years ago, all will be revealed by the end of this post and there’s also links to fantastic resources for further reading on how you can set up your own.

The big picture first, let’s focus on what it is, what it’s not and what are the benefits.

What is Masterminding?

The most popular definition is from Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich he described masterminding as “the coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”  (Read: two brains are better than one. )

Sounds a little clunky? Try this…

A mastermind is when a group of individuals come together on a regular basis to help one other, support one another, grow in the specific area of the mastermind.

Do you think it sounds a bit technical? Too much geared towards business? Try and pop that aside in your head, it may be popular in business however it’s not solely reserved for it.

You can create a mastermind around whatever area of life you want. Crochet, careers, confidence, parenting, fundraising, projects, marketing, health…the focus of the mastermind is the choice of the group.

Let me help you out by making it real and explain how we do it.

Our definition:

“Three-ish hours of laughter, support, being exposed, vulnerable, connected, working on our business and being thankful for each other”.

Because we all live in different parts of the world, we hangout on Google+ (so we can see each other), but Masterminds can be in person, on the phone: really whatever is the best method for everyone. We meet weekly, some masterminds are monthly, again the group decides what the timetable is.

We cover a lot of the ‘business’, which I’ll describe in a minute and to prove to you it’s not too technical and heavy, we shoot the breeze like you would not believe, on such lovely topics such as: dogs licking bottoms, American and Scottish words, camping, leaving mayonnaise on the bus, we’ve even Google Earthed each other’s homes, not to mention the fact one of us (not me!) attended from the comfort of their own bed.

What are the benefits?

Because the relationship is authentic and real the rest of the mastermind group have no hesitation in questioning an idea, a thought, a plan, a goal, a piece of work I’m doing, and vice versa. For me, the mastermind supports me, my business and calls me to task on all my (business) crap.

Sounds harsh?

No, not at all, not if the relationships within your mastermind are built on respect, trust, honesty, support and genuineness from the start.

Do you need an agenda?

Well, when The Ladies and I first got together we were very “business-busy”.  For us, it’s laughable now, but we even had a written agenda (which some masterminds always have but for us it didn’t work, again the choice of the group) and before we started we created a survey answering why the hell we want to hook up every week without fail.

The official agenda no longer exists, yet we still cover:

  • What we’re struggling with and where we need input
  • Where we need help, ideas, suggestions
  • What’s working and what’s not
  • What we’re working on
  • What are our goals
  • What we’ve learned
  • Complete nonsense and rants

Our mastermind carries on throughout the week, quick check-ins and how are you doings. It’s not just those hours sitting with wee headphones on looking like an ex-employees for the Starship Enterprise, the support is there all the time.

The Right Mix

On that last point, the people you mastermind with have to be the ‘right’ group of people for you. Starting a group with people that just don’t ‘feel’ right is not such a great idea, people hold back because they don’t feel safe.

You don’t have to be best-buddies, nor do you all have to be in the same field or at the same level of competence, a mix can be good.

How do you find people? That’s coming in the resources below.

What’s In It For You?

Different perspectives:

We work in very different fields, which is a massive plus. All too often we small and solo business owners aren’t willing to step out from our own field, have a nosey and  learn from other areas, then perhaps apply what’s working over there in our own business.

Whatever the focus of the mastermind, there is always the opportunity to learn from ‘how others do it’.

Getting over stopped:

We’ve all been there, being too close to our own work we can’t see alternatives. When sharing with others they can hear what you are saying, pick up what you’re not saying and then ask you powerful questions you have forgotten to ask yourself.

We all don’t think in the same way, so on a mastermind someone may have the suggestion or idea that for some reason you weren’t seeing yourself.

The support, relationship and connection:

Vital to all of us, especially solo business owners. Before my masterminds (I’ve been in three) this was a real concern of mine. Sure connection was happening via social media and live networking events, but a great mastermind goes much deeper.

When the initial ‘norming and forming’ was done the real truths came out, to know ‘you’re not alone out there’ is priceless.

Accountability:

Each week, we state what we will be working on for the week ahead and we set ourselves short term goals. To turn up the next week and say, ‘I didn’t do it’, urgh.

When we work alone, one of the biggest lessons I think we have to learn and maintain is to hold ourselves accountable, to take ownership and control of what we are doing, when we are going to do it by and get it done. Telling people you’re going to do something by a certain date adds to the urgency. See, we’re growing together, I sure as hell don’t want to be the one to let the side down.

Other ways of doing things:

I believe, what a mastermind shouldn’t be is a group coaching call, a mastermind is a collection of brains, not one brain coaching 4/5/6 other brains.

Imagine the power of all the ideas, suggestions, advice and tips coming from all those brains? If you need a coach, don’t substitute a mastermind in it’s place, as they are very different.

Genuine support:

You may have great friends, a loving family, a supportive significant other, the cat doesn’t count (they rule you) and the dog couldn’t care less. But, do you have someone who has no secret agenda?

Huh?

I have a supportive partner, no question about it. But they have a secret agenda, and rightly so: we agreed to share our lives, if I’m struggling with an idea or a thought, they will (because they love me) try and fix it.

My family is supportive, but they haven’t really got a clue what I do for a living, their secret agenda is they just want me to be happy.

With the ‘right’ people in your mastermind genuine support with no secret agenda is on tap. They care about you enough to not wrap you in cotton wool. They care about you enough to call you on your stuff.

Does that mean you need a thick skin? No, however my advice is be willing to share honestly and openly, that does require bravery because sometimes you have to expose all those vulnerabilities and fears.

How to Set Up Your Mastermind Group

I’m sending you away now around the web because there are great resources to be had.

The first:

Karyn Greenstreet is a Small Business Coach and has a fab website called Passion For Business, she also set up and owns The Success Alliance which is a website dedicated to Masterminding.

She has a great free ebook over on The Success Alliance on How To Create and Run a Mastermind Group (you’ll need to give an email address), can I say that I do recommend Karyn and trusted her with mine.

Karyn also runs classes for Starting Up Your Mastermind Group.

I shot her an email before publishing this post (mainly to warn her I was linking to her website and to double check she still runs the workshops) the classes are for small and solo business owners, personal groups, non-profits and corporations.

If you want to head over there, here’s a few popular posts that Karyn (thank you Karyn) put together for you (and me):

2. Although the contest is over, there is a great video over on Jennifer Loudens website (it’s an interview with Danielle La Porte) on masterminding, or ‘Brain Trusts’ as Jennifer calls them.

The biggest takeaway from the video I got was ‘connecting with people who meet you on a soul level‘, agree the love has to be there.  Here’s the link to the video (no longer available) on Jennifer Loudens website or watch it on Danielle’s (no longer available).

3. Over on Jack Canfields website The Success Principles download the Mastermind Planning Guide, no sign up required, click the link and the workbook will open in a pdf. Personally I prefer Karyns, there’s a lot more information and detail, but Canfields includes a nice template.

4. Join meetup.com and search for groups in your area.

Not technically a ‘mastermind’, however you never know who you’re going to meet and where relationships can take you.

Meetup is free to join, but some groups may charge, or heck, start your own (fees are about £80 for the year to have your own group) and bring together you’re own masterminds.

Your Thoughts…

Are you part of a mastermind group? What’s the biggest positive? Have you any questions, just pop them below and I’ll try answer them for you. What area of your life would you love to create a mastermind around?

 

Sometimes Even the Work You Love to Do Has Boring Parts

Disclaimer: this isn’t a lecture in productivity and time management. Ha!

I’ve been waiting patiently for 4 months.

Yesterday was the day of glee and surprise.

I popped into the greenhouse and there it was…the colour green.

Popping up everywhere from the seeds sown in January are little shoots, new life has finally sprung.

In a few months, if conditions are just right, these little lovelies are going to be a leafy and flowering parade of colour, smells and beauty.

But.

There’s a bit in the middle looming.

Before they are planted in the garden.

Long before the time of bloom.

Otherwise known as transplanting.

(When the seedlings need to be moved to a bigger pot to allow for growth. Thousands of them!)

Boring.

Slightly tedious.

Don’t get me wrong for the first 10 trays, it is therapeutic.

By tray 15, the garden therapy has ended.

By tray 22, I’m seeing double and it’s a case of ‘started a daybreak, ended with backache’. I do think at this moment, “why the hell don’t I just make my life easier and buy plants from the garden centre?”

Answer: no fun in that!

See, part of the reward is witnessing something you cared and nurtured for grow into a spectacular sight: all the way from seed to bloom. (Idea to Realisation?)

A few moments of tedious and boring, is more than a fair trade to what’s going to appear around here in July and August.

Does the same happen in life?

Doing the work that really fires you up, your love work, or your great work isn’t always 100% excitement, all the time.

Some stuff is just boring.

Examples:

How do you feel about paperwork? To me, boring.

Twitter used to be painfully boring (although I’ll admit that was because I had no idea how it worked!)

Generally, meetings to me are tedious. Some. Not all.

Cleaning up databases. Boring. Always.

Traffic jams: Urgh! Triple boring, depressing and painful as a Tori Amos CD. (Just my opinion, no offence if you’re a fan of TA!)

Take my career change clients, they don’t exactly do flips of happiness when they have to:

  • Update and tweak their CV, they say it’s boring.
  • Write cover letters.  Again, pretty boring.
  • Filling in another online application.  Boring.

But we can’t ignore the boring work.

It still needs done.

Introducing the…

The Self Slush Fund

How do you get through your least favourite tasks and boring work?

When I’m doing the boring stuff I’ve tried different music: from the energy pumping to the tinkly-pinkly-running-rivers affairs, neither worked.

I’ve thought about rewarding myself with coffee and cake once the boring stuff was done but cake and coffee is a regular habit around here, didn’t work.

So, to get the boring stuff done I had to take this internal motivation to the next level.

I now have, what I will call a Self Slush Fund. 

Think of the Self Slush Fund as your reserve of goodies and promises to yourself.

A self reward and points system, if you like.

When you get through the boring stuff you add to your Self Slush Fund.

Things for me are:

  • A bathe (note I said bathe, not bath. One is luxury, the other is functional!)
  • Going out for a coffee to the local bookstore, that always works.
  • A date with myself usually does the trick.
  • A day out with the doglets, pecking up a hill.
  • Promise of an afternoon 30 min nap.
  • Chinese for tea!

Simple easy things.

If you want to try it, there is one rule: you have to be committed to withdrawing from the fund, as and when required.

There is nothing wrong with rewarding yourself for a job well done, whether it’s exciting or slightly tedious.

My point:

The way we can see the end result in it’s full glory is by doing all the work.

If an idea is worth seeding, is it not worth making all the conditions perfect for it to bloom?

(Oh and if all your work is boring, and has been for sometime. You may need a heck more than a Self Slush Fund, this is for you)

Your Turn:

How do you reward yourself?

 

Fear, Business, Mindset, A Seedy Affair, A Confession + You

And, quite possibly the worst title for a blog post e-v-e-r when it comes to SEO.

How often have you stopped carrying out a task (or a series of tasks) in your solo business because:

a) you’re scared of what people may say

b) you think it’s not the best you can do

c) it’s not perfect

d) you don’t think you have the right

e) you’re not good enough, ‘they’ are better

f) you don’t want to upset someone

g) you think it’s been said already

h) you’re holding back because…

i) you’re waiting until all conditions are perfect

j) [insert another of your choice]

A confession.

From A through to J, I can tick them all.

There, it’s out.

I got in bed with fear.

The affair didn’t last long but I admit I did try to hide it from you. It felt awfully seedy at the time, I didn’t know how you would take it if I told you, so like most solo biz owners I kept it to myself.

I let fear woe me. I let it convince me that it knew best.

Thankfully, I didn’t expose it to all areas of my life, however for a while there it had full access to all the comings and goings in my biz. Since our last split I’ve heard through the grapevine that other solo business owners have a not so good track record of falling for it’s cold charms.

Instead of admitting:

‘We’re scared’

We just plod on, head down, alone, doing our best on a daily basis to somewhat resemble our LinkedIn picture and never letting anyone see us cavorting the-not-so-merry-dance with fear.

Functioning Fearingscaredycat

Fear and I had a pretty intense relationship for a bit. Deep.

There are some that use the phrase functioning alcoholic, for people who are able to lead a ‘normal’ (whatever normal is!) day to day existence, even though they have a substance addiction. I was a ‘functioning fearingscardeycat’, able to do the work I do best and at the same time be fearful of too much going on behind the scenes.

Even as I write fear is here with me, its over there sitting in the corner and ready to pounce, get down you rascal. It’s a fecking pest.

The weakest thing about fear is: when you become aware of it, acknowledge but not accept it’s ‘irrational word’, you can pretty much expose it as the conniving and deceitful ruffian that it is.

Have you and fear ever got it together?

See, I’ve since learned that the little creeplet had been seeing others behind my back.

Oh no, not happy with everything I was providing and feeding it, the loser has been hanging out with others to see what it could take.

Fear and I began to hook up when I started making changes in my business, when I choose to no longer hide behind a business name and fancy pants logo. The reason for the change is another post, but the changes meant that everything I did/do/will do is ‘out there’, that I was/would/will be exposed, vulnerable and open to judgement.

Fear loved this move, I swear it did cartwheels as I basically just gave it an open invitation into my lizard brain.

My relationship with fear should’ve ended when I got upset over an email telling me I had a ‘spelling mistake and why should I listen to you if you can’t spell properly.’

Fear said ‘don’t publish anything ever again, that way you won’t upset anyone’.

(Love said, ‘Fuck it, let it go‘.)

I didn’t publish, for a while. Sorry love.

There are so many examples of what fear said. I could be here all day listing them for you.

Fear doesn’t hold anything back when it starts an assault.

Fear is a never ending stream of ‘shoulds, oughts, musts, dont’s’.

Fear never shuts up until we gag the little parasite.

Pack it.

Boot it.

It likes nothing better to remind us consistently of our weaknesses and shortcomings.

I know about fear, I supposedly help others end their relationship with it.

At the time, fear loved that: it would say “hypocrite, you shouldn’t be doing your job, you tell people to quit fear, but you can’t get over me”. It would then carry on putting doubts in my head. It grabbed me at my core and for a while made me question everything I was, and what I was doing.

When fear grips, creativity flees. The two can’t compete head to head (at least not in mine!)

Fear will strip everything away, if you let it consume you. Everything.

Fear doesn’t care, it will hook itself onto your vulnerabilies and try every dirty tactic to remind you of them.

Fear happily keeps on taking and talking, destroying, doubting, ripping, sabotaging and belittling.

Eventually ‘you’ disappear and fear makes all the decisions in your little business for you.

Beware Love Incoming

Fear and love are polarities apart.

If fear is fed, it grows.

If love is fed, it grows.

Simple.

Love dispels fear.

Love is the antidote to fear.

Are you lovingly creating your great work today, or are you operating from fear?

If from fear, fear has you exactly where it wants you.

I use the word love because it’s never (or hardly) spoken about in the same breath as ‘business’.

But it’s the love for what we do that made us take the solo journey in the first place, yes?

Is it not the love for our ‘why’ and the legacy we want to leave that makes us work harder than we have never worked in our life?

Is it not love that separates us solo biz owners from the faceless corporate identities?

I think so. So, I’ll use the word love.

Love came back after I found the courage, balls, grit and confidence to admit ‘I’m scared’, then some of the most amazing people appeared, as if on cue. Events started happening. Connections were made.

Which confirms for me as soon as we say openly about what we need, we open our hearts to seeing it. Again, another post! And I’m utterly convinced that it doesn’t matter if it’s life, career, business. Connection is vital to all of it.

Plan for The Worst, Expect The Best + Likelihood

If you take nothing else from this post take this: most solo business owners have felt fear at some stage. And I guarantee what you fear, someone else may say ‘really, that scares you.‘ And what they fear, you may say ‘really, that scares you.’

It’s personal fear. Really personal.

We start up businesses not knowing what is going to come up, or what we will need to face the trials and tribulations of what’s going to come up down the line.

Here’s a few questions for you, when answering them think of the best and worst case scenario and think about the likelihood of it happening.

What are you not doing because you don’t want your vulnerabilities exposed? Worst + Best Case Scenario/Likelihood?

Where are you holding back on because you don’t want anyone to judge you? Worst + Best Case Scenario/Likelihood?

What one piece of negativity have you allowed to dominate your future actions? Why? What purpose? Why did this matter? Past learning? Is it true?

Who can you turn to and say ‘I’m scared’, and they will help expose the real fear and not rescue you?

What do you need to do to end your relationship with persistent fear?

What if you were aware that fear may rise but you had all the tools to make it go away, what would they be?

What scares you? Is it something you know someone else can help you with? Have you reached out to them?

Are your fears personal? Where do they link to the past?

Do you own an idea to do things ‘your way’ but your scared to step our from the norm? Worst + Best Case Scenario/Likelihood?

What are you consistently repeating but it’s not working? This post may help

If you had no fear, what would your business look to you? How would it feel? What would be happening? Do you have the resources now?

What is the source of your fears? Is it something that happened recently in your business, or does it go further back? 

What is no longer good enough for you, or your small business? Why are they still there? Do they serve you?

Ideas for Exposing Fear:

1. Name your Fear. Naming it gives you something to talk at. My fear is called Billy.  When Billy pipes up in my head, it’s pretty easy to say to quieten them down. Plus Billy makes me laugh, chosen after Billy Connelly (comedian), it’s hard to ‘see’ fear when you see Billy C at his best in your head.

2. Surround Yourself With Fabulous People. I don’t mean ‘there, there’ people. I mean people who will call you to task on your fears. Start a mastermind group. Meet with a couple (or more) other solo business owners once a week. Who? Well, who do you communicate most with? Just write to them. See if they would be interested in starting ‘something’ up. You don’t need to name it anything specific. Send them to this post.

3. Have a Mantra/Saying/Thought. One of mine is Let It Be Easy and another is Take Good Care of The Caretaker. Choose the most inspiring positive statement that you have ever read, one that kicks it for you. Have a nosey here. Or here. Once you find it write it down on post-it’s and slap them everywhere. Even in your diary. They can be removed a) when you have guests and b) when it’s your automatic thought when you feel fear, stress or anxiety.

4. Know Your Triggers Before They Happen. Go through the questions above and recognise what triggers fear in you. Having a plan or a ‘what would I do if‘ is like not needing the plaster, because you aren’t going to need repaired!

5. Talk to The Fear. When you feel fear, ask it why it’s there. Listen. Then ‘talk’ it down. Tell ‘it’ there is nothing to worry about. Let’s face it, fear isn’t out there, it’s in here.

6. Lean In and Trust Yourself. Practice the fear lean, it starts with saying ‘thank you’ to the fear followed by ‘I can do this’ and then lean. Small steps if you have to.

7. Turn Everything On It’s Head. Remember back at the start I asked you ‘have you ever not carried out a task because…’ and listed a few common fears. Reverse the conversation. So,

  • I’m scared of what people may say becomes what people specifically?
  • This is not my best I can do becomes best compared to what?
  • This is not perfect becomes not perfect compared to what?
  • I’m not good enough becomes good enough compared to who?

7 1/2. Do it.

And finally…

Remind yourself 5x a day why you are doing what you’re doing. Fear will probably keep calling. The reasonable thing to do is to keep asking it to leave. One day it may take the hint and go forever, until that day you still have complete control as to whether you let it enter after it knocks.

Please Share Your Thoughts

Have you any ideas for managing fear? What do you tell yourself or do when fear is in your room? If you’re a solo business owner, what fears keeps coming up for you, if any? Do you have a tool, tip, or thought on how to manage fear when it comes?

 

 

 

 

Personal Branding and a Lesson from Picasso

A client says to me: “I’m not applying for an executive role, and the people on LinkedIn are in more professional jobs than I’m going for, so why should I bother about personal branding?“

I drew them this picture (it wasn’t exactly this one, the one I created was on a Costa Coffee napkin which I had to use coming home in the car during a sneezing fit and is in no state to be photographed) and then asked them if they would like to buy it from me.

personalbrandingdawnstyle
Whoever says they ‘can’t draw’ lies!

They laughed.

“No, it’s awful, I could do better!”

I then did a quick image search online, at the same time asking them “Would you ever buy a Picasso, or like one as a gift?”

They laughed.

“Of course, it would be worth a fortune”

I turned the computer towards them and showed them this drawing, by Picasso.

Artwork by Mr Picasso

Me: “So you would buy this picture, and not mine, or you would accept it as a gift because it’s a Picasso, you believe the name alone is valuable?”

Client:  “Well, yeah, erm (cue the confusion and penny dropping), of course it means more, it’s a Picasso, it’s ‘art’, yours, well (waves napking in disgust) and I know you’re not famous, or that it’s worth anything! (Me: Humph!)

Me: “So can I clarify, the second drawing means more to you because you know who the person is, and what they are, and what they do (did), you see that drawing as really valuable because of the name, is that right?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “So, do you think if people knew who you were, that you were valuable, if they were aware of what you did and what you stood for, it would make you more appealing to employers?”

Client: (Penny hits brain!) “Urgh! Get it. I get it”

Picasso the name alone is a brand. And in this case, when it comes to art, Picasso got into my clients brain first: of course his art work is far more valuable than mine.f

(IMO) It’s not whether or not you should brand yourself, we all have a brand whether we like it or not. We don’t create the brand. The brand is created for us, in the minds of others.

Tweet This: Whether we like it or not we all have a personal brand

What’s yours?

As valuable as Picasso, or a snotty Costa Coffee used napkin?