Dawn Barclay

Helping you align all that you do with your core values

Moxie Living: Courage and Confidence

All blog post Moxie Living

Keeping Things for ‘Best’

keeping-things-for-bestDo you ‘keep things for best’?

When I was little I used to get a new dress, tights, and sparkly shoes around this time of year.

The outfit was bought for various occasions: school Christmas party, going to the pantomime, the two parties that were put on by Mum and Dads work, Christmas Day and the visits to family between Christmas and New Year.

Before the events, the outfit used to hang in the wardrobe, and my Mum would hope I didn’t have a growth spurt from the time of purchase to the wearing.

If I wanted to put it on she would scream, ‘No, it’s to be kept for best!’ I wouldn’t dare try and sneak it on and make it out the house. Except once. But that’s another story. I’m lucking to be alive, that’s all I’m saying.

Fast forward 40 years.

Last Sunday, we were out walking, the beloved and I. We came to a path that was, shall we say, a tad on the muddy side.

Half way through the gore I was waiting for them to start moaning (going by previous experience here moxies, previous experience).

Right on time, up they chirp, ‘Dawn! Dawn! This path hasn’t got enough mud on it. Is there any chance we can find a muddier path?’ (Sarcastic, huh?)

And then, down they went. Of course, the dogs thought this was great and started to jump all over them, applying more mud.

When I had stopped laughing and helped them up, I noticed their footwear.

Me: ‘Where are your walking boots? Why aren’t you wearing them?’

They replied: ‘I can’t. They’re new!’

Me: ‘But they are walking boots, you know, for moments like this, out walking!’

Them: ‘I know, but they’re clean. I have to keep them for best!’

[insert 10-minute conversation about this strange logic]

Please don’t think I’m wasteful, that’s not what this is about. It’s not about trinkets and things.

Life is a celebration. 

Your life is always a special occasion.

Use/wear/own the best of you.

Sure, you can keep it under wraps. Safe. Secure. Unspoilt and waiting for a day when you will walk out and return in the same condition.

You can decide that this day isn’t the one you want to use your best, or you can choose that your life is always worthy of the best of you.

Love.
Dawn xxx

It’s That Time of Year, Unfolding 2017 is Ready for You!

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding” – John O’Donohue

Unfolding 2017 is ready for you. This is what? Year 4 of Unfolding? Crikey.

I make no secret that I love time to reflect on what has been so I can pick up learnings, completing Unfolding in the hush of that week between Christmas and New Year has become somewhat of a tradition around here.

I haven’t changed much for Unfolding 2017, I’ve removed the planner because it isn’t a planner, and I’ve added a few words on how to create your own Campfire (or how to complete Unfolding with friends and family).

Because, as someone wrote:

My daughter and I did this together this week. She is 40, I am 64. It was a wonderful exercise in seeing where we have been, where we want to go and what we want to rid ourselves of. It was a loving exercise to do together; when one of us got stuck, the other was helpful in filling in the blanks. Now we plan to be accountability partners with one another. We will check with each other to see how well we are progressing in our plans. This is so much better than resolutions!

Here we go, click here to download Unfolding 2017 (no sign up required). Yes, it’s free but you will need Adobe Reader to open. If you have any problems, you can also download it from Dropbox here.

Here’s also a daily planner (Dropbox) and a goal planner (again Dropbox), These were used in 100 Days to Done, and you never know, you might find them useful too.

Why Unfolding?

Every moment allows you the opportunity to reflect, grow and begin the journey of any change and transformation. However, there is no denying the feel of new  beginnings and freshness that comes with a New Year. I believe that dates are just  numbers. But I  also know that  this time of the year –  generally more than any other – we do a lot more self-reflection

So why not capture it? I want to live in a world where fresh starts happen moment by moment, new questions asked and stories written when we want not when the calendar dictates. I want to  live in a world where we aren’t waiting for a clock to tell us it’s time to think again.

Own some time for yourself during this season, and give yourself permission to question, to reflect, to consider the endless possibilities and opportunities that are available to you in every moment and every day.

Let’s forget resolutions, and instead consider inspirations and intentions. A space to write, collate, acknowledge  your part in your time. And some breathing space to let go of the 365 days just gone, and consider the promise of the  every day to come.

With much love to you,

Dawn

Those links again, click here to download Unfolding 2017 or if you have problems get it from Dropbox here.

Online Planning Tools (Resources)

I’ve been looking around lately for a better planning/to-do tool that I can use online and will sync to my phone (I’ve used One Note for years but it’s really slow on the phone). It was beginning to take as long as it took me to switch from my IPhone to Samsung (months), so I went exploring last week.

I’m actually really happy with paper and pen. It suits me. But I’ve been out and about a lot recently, and, well, I’ve got a brain like a sieve.

In 100 Days to Done , people were talking about how much they weren’t into planning, and this came up at the right time. So for you, here’s the same information I popped to them in an email.

Here we go (personal opinion ahead, and ones I love you may hate and vice versa). I’ve not included the ones that are $47 upwards a month, or ones with just a free trial period, or ones that are plain old pants unless you upgrade.

Oh, and this isn’t a great big review list. It’s just me, one person looking for something that fits her needs of finding something that will do personal plans and business projects.

This one is great. I love it. It’s called Asana. I’ve just been using the free version so far, and if you’re using it just for yourself and personal projects it’s fab. For business, awesome. Writing, creative projects – yup, it’s lovely.

This one was a bit clunky and reminded me a little of my email inbox which scares the hell out of me some days, but it was easy to use and the focus is on to-do lists. It’s called Toodledo. But, sadly, I can’t just use something because I really like the name! Or could I? No. No.

Another one with a snazzy name called Remember The Milk: free and upgrade. The free version didn’t include syncing to my phone so I left it.

For personal/family organising there is this one called Cozi. Definitely focuses on family planning (as in family organizing, not actual family planning, you know, ‘how many numbers of children will we have sorta planning). I actually liked this. What did make me giggle was you can message each other, perfect if you’ve all stopped talking. Oh, and it’s got a wee journal area too. Nice.

This one isn’t as eye catchy as Asana, but still really good. It’s called Producteev. I liked it, same functions as Asana, but I didn’t choose  because I preferred the user experience of Asana.

There’s this one called TodoIst I liked it for work and play. But again, for the free version you don’t get access to all the tools.

Oh, and Slack, which we were talking about on 100 Days on Facebook. But it’s more a collaboration tool, rather than personal products and goals tracking tool. Still slick.

Others:

Plenty. Google ‘to-do list project management or goal planning tools’ and you’ll see a lot more. Be safe though. Where it says ‘Sign Up, It’s Free!’ do your digging around the site, is it? Or is it just free for a wee while? Remember, if you sign up for any you are bound to be sent plenty of emails asking you to upgrade. And Dawnie ‘stay safe online’ tip: don’t pay for free, or check how easy it is to cancel! I’m just saying.

And remember,

Paper and pen do the job too.

But it’s the person using the tools that really does the do.

Okay, over and out. I hope that doesn’t send you off down Internet Squirrels land too much.

Much love,
Dawn

Letting the Old Ways Fall

In any change, there comes a time when you know that old ways are not supporting the new:

Habits
Thought patterns
Behaviours
Routines
Actions

Growth, change, development can be terrifying because what we once we believed as our truth can feel like it’s dying and being eroded away. Transformation has to involve a period of letting the old fall. If it doesn’t, nothing has changed.

But in the ‘period of time’ when it’s happening it can feel like we have nothing to hold on to, that the world as we believed it was doesn’t feel real anymore, or that what have always known for us is coming to an end.

Depending on what you are working on right now, is there something that needs to fall away in order for the new to emerge?

For business, it could be a habit, strategy, piece of work that no longer supports who you have become or what you want to share with the world.

It could be a relationship you are part of where the old rules of how it went no longer apply or a restricting what it could become next.

For your career/work, it could mean letting fall a lifetime of learning in a specific area as the work no longer fulfills you or drives you.

Sometimes we hold on to the old ways because we don’t have enough clarity of the new, yet. So, we hold on tighter. This restricts the growth and nothing can emerge. It takes courage to release the old ways. A trusting that you can put it quietly down now and still remain standing with all the knowledge, learning and wisdom of the old.

What could emerge if you let it fall: what you know in your heart, needs to be … with courage … released?

On Being At War With Yourself

If you could win the war against yourself, in particular, your inner critic, you would have won a very long time ago. As this is probably not going to happen, we can learn how to keep it in a happier and jollier peaceful state.

I’ve noticed that when it comes to unfolding, change, growth, transformation and getting stuff done – in my own life and that of clients – instead of being loving, kind and warm with ourselves we attack, usually by our own words:

‘My biggest problem is …’

‘I’d love to but I know I just can’t’

‘I know this is a stupid idea’

‘I don’t expect this will be easy or that I’ll succeed’

You know how confusing that is to your brain? There is part of your mind willing to change, but there is another part of your mind – stronger because the habitual thinking hasn’t been changed – going to war against it.

You can’t change old programming with the same old programme. It wouldn’t update. You have to install new updated bug-free software.

A brain at war with itself is pretty hairy scary, it causes so much inner turmoil and conflict.

Is this the part where we high-five each other, punch the air, go to Pinterest and pin happy quotes, and never utter a negative word?

It is heckers* like. No, no, no. Do we know each other?!

But,

It’s the part where we put down – or practice to – all weapons we are using against ourselves, words mainly.

And we breathe.

And we look at what we are creating.

And we breathe again.

And we simply notice if we are creating a war zone or a lovefest in our own head.

And we make a choice if we are going to charge ahead with the old thinking, or are we going to look for more peaceful and loving alternatives. Even if it feels slightly uncomfortable.

Examples? Why certainly, here you go:

Instead of: One of the biggest problems I have (which is reminding your brain not to forget about all the problems you have, which are all huge and depending on you feel about you are unpassable)

Could become: One of the solutions I am seeking an answer to at the moment.

Or.

Instead of: I don’t expect this will be easy or that I will succeed (which is reminding your brain to find all the possible hard ways to do something, and remove the joy of the journey)

Could become: This may be a challenge, right now I’m not sure of the way forward, but the success comes in trying anyway regardless of the outcome.

Dawn! I can’t remember all that.

Calm down now.

You don’t have to.

You just have to pause when you’re thinking is on the frontline and ask yourself, ‘Is there another way, a more loving way, of responding and reacting to this’?

Carry on now.

PS: This post was originally one of the daily emails to participants of 100 Days to Done click here to find out more.

*Glossary

Is it heckers like = Scottish for ‘Oh, no it isn’t” (you learn something new every day, huh?)

Courage to Ask for Help

Admitting that you aren’t great at asking for help is brilliant. Admission is a good place to start.

Last September I admitted I was really struggling and needed help. Long story short: it had been a year of poop, sorry, adversity! I was struggling with the juggling. The upshot of the admission was I took – what I have now called – a semi-sabbatical (totally recommend by the way). I hated the day of admission. But the pain before that day was unbearable, all I could think about was , ‘I do this for a living! I help people not struggle. How can I be here? What would people think?’

What a big ego, huh?

It’s BS.

We. All. Need. Help.

From time to time.

In some areas of life.

We can sit with the pain of the shame, vulnerability, angst, and worry of what people may think. Or we can accept that others also struggle with this asking so deeply that in our admission we may encourage them to open with us also.

We are beautiful, amazing, full of creative potential humans, capable of great and amazing things, but we can’t always do it all alone. Sometimes we have to share more of the truth of who we are and what we are going through.

And sometimes that comes in the form of asking for help and support.

You are never more than a few words away from feeling more connected to others and the world.

PS: This post was originally one of the daily emails to participants of 100 Days to Done click here to find out more.