Recently I’ve been speaking to a few people about their calling (which may sound cheesy to some, but it’s a great way to express what’s your thing that only you can do in the world, you know that thing that lights you up and you stay lit) the conversations have been about all the millions of highly unique and awesomely creative ways they are superbly avoiding it.
I see a pattern, we are obsessed with living an authentic, just be who you are, passionate about some darned thing and meaningful life but when we start the process of making it happen we realise there is a monumental gap from where we stand to where we want to be, on closer inspection of said great big walloping vacuum and acknowledging what is required of us, our anxiety rises, big time.
Which is really nothing for you to worry about, it’s natural, your brain needs to make connections first. It’s going to go into meltdown when it doesn’t have the information it needs to create what you’re asking it to. If I can give you any advice here, it would be, please try not to worry and throw it everything you’ve got because you (your brain) can handle it. And probably a little bit more.
That aside, let’s be truthful, it’s not the greatest feeling in the world to actually notice that your life doesn’t look like anything you want it to look like. There’s not much pleasure in admitting to yourself all the stuff that isn’t working and having no clarity about what you’re going to do about. Enter from stage left your anxiety.
So, it’s probably not news to you, because you’re in fear setting, to get exceptionally creative at finding other ways where you can express yourself fully. And these ways are not usually the healthiest and do nothing for lighting you up except postpone the ignition a little more, thus creating more anxiety.
Now then, these other creative expressions of who we are can manifest itself themselves so many ways including spending endless hours on Facebook and Twitter, pouring a glass (2 bottles) of the red, having a smoke, watching cat videos, setting unobtainable goals, cleaning things that don’t require cleaning, making up stories about what we need to do (but never do them), blaming the dog for your lack of time, watching box sets on Netflix, starting arguments just to feel something, nipping to the shops for purchases we don’t know how to even cook, volunteering for other people and projects to keep busy so we don’t have to think about our own work, gossiping about or comparing our unique selfs to others, taking a trip, lying around in our PJ’s waiting for the world to come to us or organising pens. Take your pick or insert your own!
Any distraction will do as long as you don’t feel anxiety, uncertainty, loneliness, fear and self-doubt of answering the call that is only meant for you.
You know something? It takes more energy to creatively avoid doing the work. Your work. Your gifts. Your talents. Your art. Your expression. Your soul work. Your meaning. Your difference.
You know that already if you’re doing the side step. Exhausting, huh?
What’s your avoidance strategies? What patterns have you created for yourself that elegantly distract you from becoming and being more of who you really are? In what ways are you creatively stopping yourself from getting started? In what ways have you allowed things into your life that are not aligned to your core?
For me in the past, in Living Moxie work, I’d tweak stuff. I tell myself I was doing important and needed work. But it was all smoke and mirrors. If I was tweaking guaranteed I was avoiding. Thankfully, I noticed this and I’ve others to call me on it if the habit arises again. Today, I get these really exciting ideas and instead just throwing myself at them, I stop, and ask myself ‘Does this align with my core?’ or ‘Is this my work?’ Now, I would like to write I do that all the time, but I don’t. I’m human. And, to be truthful, what I really ask is, ‘Do I want to do this?’ I’m getting better at saying no because it doesn’t feel right.
Today, I’m going to look at my notebook (that I bought on a shopping trip when I was avoiding doing the work), and really ask myself is this work (when created) a full expression of me, or is it an unhealthy creative avoidance tactic.?Recently I had an idea of starting a vegan blog, I even have the domain and installed everything I need to start. I want to get going on it. I’m worried about the time it will take. The world doesn’t actually need another vegan blog, and it certainly could do without my culinary skills but I do know it’s part of my true work too, and my core values, the compassion one.
What about you?
- How are you creatively avoiding doing your work? What is really going on?
- What would it take for you to sit down and get all your work and ideas out on paper and go through them one by one and ask yourself, ‘Is this my work or me avoiding doing my work?’ And scoring out what is avoidance to the true work.
- How can you show up (for yourself, nobody else) and do the darned work?
- What can you use on yourself when you feel the anxiety rise? What can you do to remind yourself that it’s a natural response as you step into the unknown?
NB: Registration is now closed for the following event.
A couple of years ago I had an idea which I called 100 Days to Done. In short, I invited people to participate in an online community where they declared a doable goal to get done in 100 days or a topic they wanted to work on. Did it work? Mostly. Yes, it did.
The people: it was a lovely gathering of folks: funny, witty, supportive, creative, from all walks of life, courageous, open and giving.
The creations: people answered their call (got to work on their stuff), in the time we were together businesses were launched, careers were changed, blogs were started, peeps got healthier, university courses were signed up for, relationships improved, confidence increased. For me, Moxie Campfires was born.
It’s happening again. You’re invited.
Why? Because I firmly believe that joining with others can spark creativity, ignite ideas, empower you take ownership and help with the questions that come with transforming your life, career or business. And
If you would like to take part.
Click here to read about a little more and please come and join in. It’s free to join. Registration is now closed.