Unfinished Human

Rumi, who was a darned smart chappie, once wrote, ‘This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!’

Until a few years ago I was hell bent on not allowing any unwelcome visitors in: ‘change my state’, ‘do my affirmations’, ‘set better goals’, ‘focus on the positive’, use any tool, technique or intervention to stop the not wanted guests. Mostly it worked. And I certainly don’t have any regrets about learning any of them, or any hesitation about sharing, if its the most appropriate thing to do.

However today, I actually let everything in, life is way easier and its a darn sight quicker to get ‘not wanted’ out the door again, gently and lovingly. Maybe Rumi was on to something? I have no idea really what he meant by ‘Guides’ or ‘He’. I don’t care.

I don’t know where you are at in this being human stuff.

Do you ever think you are done, dusted and finished with something – a feeling, an emotion, an experience – and then up it pops again?

I thought I’d dealt with this. I thought this shit was finished. 

For me, I’ve spent a very long time trying to control what happens in my life, mostly my thinking. For example, I’ve been utterly frustrated when I think I’ve mastered peace of the inner variety (that’s even funny to write) and then a few days later I find myself in a right old barney (that’s an argument to non-Scottish peeps) with my be-loved – usually because they aren’t acting out my script of how it should be – and then exiting their company through a stream of banging doors. Or, when I’ve spent weeks with clients to help them raise their confidence and self-esteem only to face my own mini moment of crisis when I have to come to my own edges.

It turns out, no surprise really, I’m not finished. I’m an unfinished human.

As far as my experience goes, I prefer to be unfinished.

I want every morning to be a new arrival. I want to be grateful for what comes up and in. I want to have raw edges, I certainly don’t want to be polished. I’d rather learn compassion (for real, for myself and others) more than tools and techniques. I’d rather have the freedom to feel what I feel and think what I think, and allow myself the space for my thinking to settle and pass on through, because it always does, I’d rather not get caught up in it. I’d prefer to not beat myself up when that happens, but treat myself with the same love and compassion I have for others. I’d rather remember how to laugh at the insanity of my thinking at times. I’m unfinished. That’s my truth.

I’d love for my clients to see the difference between ‘doing work on themselves’ and ‘allowing themselves to be themselves’. To accept that they aren’t done, they aren’t finished, that they have edges, that’s its perfectly okay to allow it all in and to entertain it all.

I don’t want to use my Unfinished thinking as a get out of jail free card, ‘Oh, sorry I hurt you, I’m unfinished’. I want to use to find acceptance of what is. George Orwell, another good with words, once said, ‘Happiness can only exist in acceptance’. 

I accept. I choose happiness.

I am extending you an invitation to join me.

Your Invitation:

Think about this phrase, ‘Allow me to accept …’ 

Take a moment and think about being unfinished. Really think about acceptance. Allow yourself to be unfinished. How would you end, allow me to accept ... ?

So, if you fancy writing your own ‘Allow me to accept’ list, I’ve made you a little download. And here’s also a copy of ‘The Guest House‘ for you.

If you blog and end up writing your list there, hashtag it #unfinishedhuman, I’d love to read your unfinished-ness.

Here’s mine,

Unfinished Human:

• Allow me to accept that sometimes I will not make the best choices and decisions and to remember I can always choose again.
• Allow me to accept that what I thought I had learned may need to circle around again until I actually understand the learning.
• Allow me to accept everything just as it is right now, even the darkness.
• Allow me to accept and release with love all that doesn’t serve me now so I can make way for the new.
• Allow me to accept that I may not like the message being given or the messenger that brings it, yet I can still open my heart to hearing it.
• Allow me to accept that I can’t produce my work of tomorrow this day, to embrace what I know now, and remain curious and open to learning about what I don’t.

• Allow me to accept that I am the only one who can walk through the doors that are open and waiting for me.
• Allow me to accept that I may still speak before I think at times, then wish I hadn’t, allow me to own my apology and offer it when it’s necessary.
• Allow me to accept that I may fail, I can choose to fall hard or choose to fall with grace, I’ll be landing anyway, how I land will determine how I get back up.
• Allow me to accept that I am not done yet and I have a long way to go, I don’t need to know the whole journey to be on it.
• Allow me to accept that everything is happening in perfect Divine timing, even if I don’t fully understand what that means.
• Allow me to accept being happy over being right.
• Allow me to accept that gratitude is free and it’s my exchange for being human.
• Allow me to accept that though it may look impossible I won’t know if that’s true until it’s done.
• Allow me to accept that I cannot impose my values on another even when my own are being tested.

 

• Allow me to accept my untamed ginger hair.
• Allow me to accept that I am not who the world told me I should be or the programming I received since I arrived.
• Allow me to accept that blame diminishes me, puts out my own spark and hands my power to another.
• Allow me to accept that I have nothing to prove, nowhere else to be and no handbook to follow.
• Allow me to accept and release my judgements of the world, especially when I’m on Facebook.
• Allow me to accept I have enough, now, to simply begin, what I need next will be shown to me.
• Allow me to accept I can only have my own experience and always to remember that others are having theirs.
• Allow me to accept that I can’t be broken in spirit, yeah, even with the tories for the next 5 years.
• Allow me to accept that the truth whispers I hear are for me and are me.
• Allow me to accept that my passions are my calling, and allow me to embrace them like a warm new born puppy.

• Allow me to accept that connection is so radically simply.
• Allow me to accept that I am ready, even though I want to puke at times.
• Allow me to accept that my adversity doesn’t have to rip me to shreds but can make me stronger.
• Allow me to accept that we are all just walking each other home. We are all going to get there.
• Allow me to accept that this moment is all I have, the past and future don’t exist except in my thinking, so why do I fear?
• Allow me to accept I am here. Now. Exactly where I am meant to be, even when I’m creating stories in my head of where I should be, they are just fairy stories.
• Allow me to accept that the pain I feel is the only signal I need to change.
• Allow me to accept that the journey to be who I am is destructive at times, and takes a lot of courage.
• Allow me to accept that belonging is not the same as fitting in. Ever.
• Allow me to accept that I am a tribe of one. I can’t move mountains, but I can climb them.

• Allow me to accept that quitting is sometimes necessary so that I can start again.
• Allow me to accept that we are all students, and we are all teachers, and nobody is excluded from this.
• Allow me to accept that Love is infinite and on the days when I forget please remind me to look again.
• Allow me to accept that weariness and tiredness isn’t a sign of weaknesses but needs attended to with love.
• Allow me to accept that I didn’t come here to be an apology.
• Allow me to accept that I need no tools, techniques, interventions to be an unfinished human.
• Allow me to accept that when I am torturing myself with guilt, shame, blame and regret, love waits on welcome, let me invite it in.
• Allow me to accept that kindness is extended inwards and outwards.
• Allow me to accept on the days when my courage isn’t roaring that it is simply lying dormant waiting to rise again.
• Allow me to accept that curiosity never killed any cat.
• Allow me to accept that I am in no race, there is nobody in front of me, there is nobody behind me.

• Allow me to accept that needing people is not the same as being needy.
• Allow me to accept that sometimes I just need to buckle in and ride the wave.
• Allow me to accept that the answers always come eventually, they are there now, if I can’t see them allow me to remove what is blinding me.
• Allow me to accept that it’s up to me to tell the truth about who I am, otherwise I’m leaving it to guesswork belonging to others.
• Allow me to accept that the person I was yesterday is not the same person today, even when it feels as if nothing is changing remind me that can’t be so.
• Allow me to accept that Love is bigger than all our fears put together.
• Allow me to accept that it’s all unfolding.
• Allow me to accept that when it doesn’t feel good or right, it is.
• Allow me to accept that I am not alone, even when I feel lonely.

• Allow me to accept that standing up is very different to standing out.
• Allow me to accept that not everyone is vegan, and when people tell me they like their meat still mooing, remind me not to judge.
• Allow me to accept compassion – for real – for myself so that I can extend it deeper to others, and on the days I don’t feel it, let me stop, breathe, close my eyes and remember I need it most.
• Allow me to accept that my life needs no explanation.
• Allow me to accept there will be times when I feel like I am walking alone, on those days allow me to remember that I didn’t create myself.
• Allow me to accept that I’m filled with perceptions and made up ideas and to keep questioning as long as I am able to.
• Allow me to accept that life isn’t a test as I’ve been taught to believe, I have no exam to pass, and who’s been allocated the marking anyway?
• Allow me to accept that the errors I’ve made do not define me, nor do my successes.

• Allow me to accept that I may doubt myself at times, allow me to sit with it, feel it, surround it in love and let me get out the way and allow my wisdom to speak.
• Allow me to accept I am not a master in the moments of my new beginnings.
• Allow me to accept when I feel lost and uncertain that others feel it too.
• Allow me to accept that by judging others I am only attacking myself.
• Allow me to accept that some things are best left unsaid.
• Allow me to accept that what took time to build and create, can be gone in an instant.
• Allow me to accept that in loving myself I am loving the world.

• Allow me to accept that I will try and trip up, start and stumble, begin and bomb, and that’s okay, I will try, start, begin again tomorrow.
• Allow me to accept that I have no idea how far ‘innate creative potential’ can reach, but I know it’s further if I allow my higher self to lead the way.
• Allow me to accept that cat fur balls – extremely disgusting in their arrival – are part of keeping kitties.
• Allow me to accept that being who I am is the most courageous act I have for my life.
• Allow me to accept that imposing my beliefs, scripts and stories of how I think it should go on others is my unhappiness.
• Allow me to accept the same love and compassion for myself as I extend to others.
• Allow me to accept that letting go is easier said than done at times, but regardless of how I feel about it and the time it takes me to release, it’s already done.

• Allow me to accept that the world attaches labels and I don’t have to print them off and wear them.
• Allow me to accept that by not suppressing who I am I may upset and disappoint others, this is none of my business.
• Allow me to accept that nothing has any value apart from the value I place upon it. This will free me.
• Allow me to accept Love over Fear, always.
• Allow me to accept that it takes the same energy to open my heart as close my mind.
• Allow me to accept that I am raw, unpolished, wild, unedited.
• Allow me to accept that I am unfinished human.

Without wondering if you are doing it right or wrong, without thinking too much about it, what – oh unfinished human – are you going to allow yourself to accept?

Here’s the download again.

Lots of love,

Dawn