Moxie Business: Creative & Courageous Business

100 Days of You Being Amazing + Being Amazing for Others

September 17 Dawn

You know how I’m always banging on about community, connection and surrounding yourself with fellow moxieologists (made up word) with you?

And you say, ‘Yes, it’s always lovely to meet others who are inspiring, upbeat, fun, friendly, positive, lovely to be around and who also are creating a ruckus’.

And then I say to you, ‘Do you have people like that in your life? You know, ones who will hold you darn well accountable and give you a swift kick up the ass when needed and love when required?’

And then you say, ‘Not really, it’s like, well, sometimes, but most of the time I wish I could meet people just like that.’

Right.

Enough talking. Time to meet them.

Your Invitation:

“You are invited to 100 Days to Done…

It starts the 23rd of September (You need to be signed up before the 20th September)

For 100 days

It’s free to join

I (we) would love you to be there.“

What’s It All About?

“You have a goal. A plan. A project. An idea. You want to create it. And now is the time. You don’t ask for permission to change your underwear, so why the hell are you waiting on permission to begin?

You want to get moving with a change you wish to make in your life, complete or start a project or idea, build something, create something and you will have all the support, encouragement and help you need…

you are willing to give support, encouragement and help to others who are creating their thing.”

The Promise:
To stop waiting, wimping out, dancing round the edges of your life.

What happens when you surround yourself with people who are committed to getting stuff done? You get stuff done and are moved along in the wave.

What happens when you declare your intention and start taking action? You see things change and happening.

What happens when you give, share, offer support and love to others? You are given it in return.

There is a pattern here. When we are surrounded by people who are getting stuff done, we get stuff done.

What would you start, commit to and get done in 100 days?

Others are…

Puting a stake in the ground and reclaim their health/fitness
Becoming clear on what they want to create next (and start it)
Using the community and support to adopt a vegan lifestyle
Planning exit strategies
Getting a 2nd business up and running
Building a new website
Building Etsy shop
Volunteering project
Finishing dissertation
Creating an online course
Getting fit to run a 10k in January
Using the community to build confidence

And a wheen of other stuff: art, poetry, decluttering, new blog…

See, the way I see it is this. We all have gifts, talents and skills. And what if we brought them all to one place to share? That you helped others, and others helped you. All that knowledge, skills, fantastic brains all in one place.

As well as being part of a community…

You will be sent a daily weekday prompt, question, piece of encouragement via email.
There are no deadlines, there are no rules of what you bring, no formal lessons, just support and encouragement to get it done.
I will create little ‘mini-events’ for you to take part in.
Together we will create for 100 days with all the support and encouragement in the group you need.

Sorry. Sign Up Is Now Over.

– last day for signing up was the 20th September. Missed it? Get updates about events here.

Is it really for you?

I repeat…you have a goal. A plan. A project. An idea. You want to create it. You want to be surrounded by people taking action.

Why now? Because I asked a couple of months ago (in the not really a newsletter) would you like a space to get things done and you said yes. And I’m wondering what can happen in 100 days! That’s exciting.

Where is the community? This one is on Facebook. It’s a private community. Why Facebook? Because it’s where most people are already.

Willingness: showing up as you, taking out what you put in.

What will you get out of it?

The big question is: what do you want to get out of it? What do you want to put in? What do you want to give? What are you willing to share?

Community and connection. Momentum. Support. New friendships. Doing what you have been thinking about for a while. No judgement. Laughter.

If connecting, sharing and being part of a group is your thing you will love.

If you want to be surrounded by people taking action and having fun doing it. Come.

You may surprise yourself about what else you can get done in 100 days. Heck, just being surrounded by people who are willing to share may be enough to propel you forward. There is power in community.

How much is it again?

Nothing, nada, zilch.

And no, this isn’t a ploy to sell you stuff. That’s sooooooo not my style + you are ONLY signing up for 100 Days to Done (so I can send you the daily emails), your email address won’t be added elsewhere. That is a promise.

What do you need to next?

Think. Do you want/need this right now?

Decide: Declare what you would love to work on and ~~sign up here~~, then just follow the instructions.

I already get updates do I need to sign up again? Yes. It’s so you can receive the daily prompts that’s all, you won’t receive double update emails. This is separate to the updates emails.

You will receive a welcome email, with the Facebook group link.

You will need a Facebook account to access the private group.

Sorry. Sign Up Is Now Over.

– last day for signing up was the 20th September. Missed it? Get updates about events here.

Why are we doing this together?

Why not? And…
Because I need to be surrounded by people who aren’t snipping at my wings. You?
Because I need people who are supportive, willing to share, offer support and allow me to be me. You?
Because I want Living Moxie to be something greater than I can possible imagine. Are you in?
Because I know that when people come together with the energy to make things happen. It happens.
Because nobody should be left out or excluded.
Because community, connection and belonging are essential to our emotional and physical well-being.

It will be lovely to hang out and meet you ‘properly’ for 100 days and hey we all may just create something far beyond what we thought possible.

Join us.

Sorry. Sign Up Is Now Over.

– last day for signing up was the 20th September. Missed it? Get updates about events here.

Lots of love,

Dawn

PS: Can you bring a friend? Of course. Just send them the link to this page and get them to sign up. Or use the social media buttons below.

5 Things to Practice When It’s All Piling Up + You Feel You’re Going to Break

August 28 Dawn

Life is FABULOUS when it’s…well…going fabulously.

Days, weeks, months can go by and you’re ‘rockin it.

Then something happens. Or a number of things. Stress and strain appear and you don’t feel on top of it anymore: you’re cleaning the house when you’re supposed to be meeting with friends or working, you’re doing a Greta and I vant to be alone, you’re picking wee fights with your nearest and dearies just for the hell of it, sleep is haywire and you are feeling teary-eyed.

What’s up? What’s wrong?

Is there anything wrong or have you just piled your life plate too high?

Before you actually break, try these…

#1 Practice the Art of Zzzzzzzz-ing It More Often

Sleep more.

Obvious? You bet (and a bit rich coming from the night owl). They say (they being Harvard peeps) sleep is needed for your mental and emotional well-being and resilience. So it would make sense that if you aren’t getting enough duvet connection (or need more) that you probably feel like you aren’t being your marvelous self and that tiredness can floor your resilience.

That’s not a chore is it? Sleep.

Warning: this is your mother talking…switch off (you and the gadgets) one hour before bed. And turn off your mobile. The tooth fairy doesn’t come to iPhones and smartphones left under pillows.

Here’s a free wee booklet from the Mental Health Foundation all about sleep.

2# Practice Speaking to Someone

No I don’t mean you have to take a seat in a therapy chair just yet. Have you ever felt strained and stressed, met friends, laughed into your latte and left with everything feeling soooooooooo much better?

Make. The. Darned. Call. Meet. Connect.

And please don’t sit there thinking that you’re the only one who is having a ‘moment’, we all have them. Friends and family can’t help unless you tell them you need help.

You could go further and bring peeps together (who are good for you) for a coffee morning and make a difference at the same time.

3# Practice Writing It Down or Out

What down? The stuff that’s swirling in your head. (You could do it at the coffee morning or in that hour before bed when you’ve switched everything off).

According to mytherapyjournal journalling helps:

Improve physical health and mental well-being
Diminish symptoms of depression, anxiety, panic, substance abuse, PTSD, asthma, arthritis, and many other health conditions and disorders
Improve cognitive functioning
Make therapy more effective
Strengthen the immune system, preventing a host of illnesses
Counteract many of the negative effects of stress
Finally, journaling is for everyone. It just “feels good” to write

Plus it’s always an excuse to buy pretty stationary if like me you are addicted to the smell of notebooks.

4# Practice Taking Time Out

Take your self-care routine to a completely new height. What self-care routine? Um. For you, may I make a suggestion…start one.

Wait. Is self-care a phrase that we can all relate to? Is it another soundbite that we coaches fling about? Okay, then how about this ‘carve some love time for you, you gorgeous thing’.

It’s selfish!

No, it isn’t.

It’s not selfish to show yourself some compassion.

Self-care is not the same as self indulgence.

It doesn’t need to be massive. Oh, before you run a bath, pour yourself a glass of wine and open a family size chocolate bar of Galaxy please note that ‘random acts of being good to yourself’ won’t sustain you long term.

Deeper please. This needs deeper work.

If things are becoming strained and you’ve been feeling it for a while, take the hint. Something needs done. Parent yourself, put yourself on the make believe naughty step for a while, but call it something different ‘chill kerb’ or ‘sanity step’. And then return there often.

No, I’m not going to add a list of self-care things you can do, because it will be my list. But I could ask you these questions:

What sustains you?
When do you feel deprived?
What do you need more of in your life?
What are you hungry for?
What keeps you healthy?
What causes stress and strain for you?
What is not your job?
Where do you practice compassion (for you)?
Where would you go if you took a 24 hour break?
What would you do if you took a 24 hour break?
Who can you really talk to about how you feel?

5# Practice Reducing What’s Piled Up

For a while, or for good.

If you’ve piled it too high it makes perfect sense it’s going to topple. What falls could be something important so who not reduce it yourself?

Am I talking about prioritising? More than that. What don’t you need on your plate? What’s there that doesn’t belong to you?

More time in that journal again might be good here. Write down everything you do in a day (or what’s going on with you that is becoming a strain). Ask yourself what can be reduced or what would happen if you gave it up or passed it to someone else.

Now, you can resist this if you want to. And yes, I know you could be responsible for everything (a solo business owner?). But can I ask you, what have you made a habit?

Discipline yourself.

Boundaries.

Say no.

Condition yourself into developing new habits.

Me: I don’t need to have Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and all the rest open while I’m working. No, I don’t need to answer email as soon as it comes in. Yes, I can say ‘I can’t take that on right now’ or ‘Sounds great, can we talk about it in a couple of weeks’. No, the dogs don’t need a 4 hour walk every day. I don’t have to allow oooooooooooverwhelm into my life.

Make a wee promise with yourself that you’re important, that the stress and strain isn’t good for you. It all begins with baby steps and then please keep walking. No point in doing things once or twice and let it all that stress build up again.

Practice self-care. Practice sleep. Practice talking about you really feel. Practice saying no. Practice being with people who know and love you (and make you laugh). Practice journaling.

Go.

You’ve got this.

What about you? What steps do you take (or now practice) when you feel it all becoming too much?

Do What You Love to Do Online Course Is Here (+ How to Snag a Scholarship Seat)

August 19 Dawn

A quickfire round of yes or no questions…

Do you own a gift or talent that you want to share with the world? Are you sharing it?
Are you doing your unapologetic great work? If not, what are you doing?
Are you living purposefully and working your purpose? Oh no, not this purpose thing again!
Do you feel your own life would be all round happier and flourishing if you were doing what you love to do? Please say yes. Pretty please.

Or are you…

Bored? Uninspired? Lost? Fed-up? Stuck? Stopped? Stalled? I have something for you.

But first…

We live in a world where the most common belief to ‘do what you love to do’ is for many impossible, pipe dream, not do-able. Love and Work aren’t used (much) in the same sentence.

I hear it…

“I would do what I love to do – if I had the time.”

“Do what I love – that’s impossible I need to pay the bills.”

“I would do what I love – if I knew what it was.”

“How will I live?”

The common belief is becoming more uncommon.

Right lovely, for this post I’m going to wear two hats.

Hat No 1 is…my commitment to my belief that we can all (if we choose to) do what we love to do.

And.

Hat No 2 is…my professional careers advisor hat. The hat that many of you probably will be more comfortable with, but we’ll see…

Hat 1: Heart to Heart

I know most people equate the ‘doing’ part with ‘earnings’ bit, and well, that’s where the first error lies. Doing what you love to do isn’t necessarily about money, heck, it may be something that nobody will ever pay you for.

Can we do what we love: sharing our unique gifts, talents and skills with the rest of the world regardless of a payment?

I say … yes.

Are you allowed to create just because you want to and are called to?

Again … I say… yes.

Do you have to wait until you see a way of receiving a salary or paycheck to do what you love to do?

No. This time. I say … no.

I’m a coach and trainer. But it didn’t start with money/pay/earnings. It started with 10 years working as a volunteer in a charity who supported excluded, abused and ‘at-risk’ children, and young people. First as a front-line worker, then training new volunteers entering the charity. 3 months a year for 10 years volunteering. And then the rest of the winding path to today.

I love working with people. I love undoing fear. I love supporting others through their own transition. I stand for inclusion and diversity. I love helping people cut through the crap and noise so they can be who they really are and do what they love to do. That’s my difference. My talents, gifts and skills have seen different wallpapers, different environments and different office chairs, different remits and different client groups. But the core, the love part, has only grown stronger.

But I also know that doing what you love to do, for the majority of my fellow human beings appears impossible.

That’s why my own gifts, talents and skills are valuable and why I just have to use them. Not because they (mine) are all that special – but because there aren’t enough people in the world saying ‘you have the right to be happy’ and ‘you have the right to not live in fear’ and ‘you are valuable’ and ‘we need you, I need you’. That’s my gift. It’s not going to change the world on its own, it’s not going to end exclusion and bring about equality on its own. Yet, even if it makes a teeny ripple.

As a trainer and coach, my speech isn’t:

‘You must do what you love, yes you can, I did it, look at me, so can you’.

But more:

‘I want to help you do what you love to do, right now who knows what it is, but let me show you how I made it happen (the good and the bad) and how all the others before you make it happen also…oh yes, there are others…I just want to show you it’s possible. It may be a long road, but to ignore what you are masterful at, when you know you are capable of it, urgh, please let me help you find a way.’ And now…

Hat 2: Heart to Head/Careers Advisor Hat

Am I saying we can all do what we love to do?

Yes, I am. But hold your horses, before you give me the ‘I need money, have bills to pay, it’ s not realistic’ speech… I’m not putting ‘what you get paid to do’ and ‘doing what you love to do’ in the same pot.

They are different.

One can be done regardless of whether you receive money or not.

You and I are not a career, work, job title, set of jobs and descriptions. Those can be rewritten and disappear tomorrow (and your perceived identity with them). Your skills, talents and gifts will remain, so why not use them more, bring them alive every day?

What if there was a way to use your gifts and talents? Isn’t it worth exploring?

So, for all those not doing what they love to do. I’m inviting you to stop waiting. To start, if you want to, down the path of making it all happen. I invite you to acknowledge your gifts, talents and skills.

I invite you to come and play. Explore. Create. Work out a way to make doing what you love to part of your everyday living and experience for life.

Why? Because if you ask ‘why am I not doing what I love to do?’ – I bet it comes down to money. The old way is crumbling. Money had no value all by itself. But you, your gifts and talents, they are what you do for yourself, and for others, that is beyond any value. Because I work with too many people who are utterly miserable in what they get paid for.

Money won’t fulfil the hunger for using your gifts.

There. I’ve said it. The (new) truth is that now, more than ever, more and more people are using their gifts and talents, and many making a living from it. Do you want to be paid to do the work you love to do?

Well, what steps are you taking today?

Nothing?

Ta-raa…now you can…

Introducing the Online Version of Do What You Love to Do Course

Shiny. You’re invited. It’s 5 weeks. All online, you can attend eating ice cream from your bed, wearing Scooby Doo pyjamas, really, come as you are. After 15 years of delivering this baby face-to-face with peeps, it’s now time for the online version.

It’s for you if…

You want to do what you love to do and you are willing to explore how you are going to make it happen.

You’re going to get…

You can read about it here.

However…

5-week course all geared to help you discover your love work and start doing it.
A private classroom where you will receive all the course materials and you’ll be able to hang out with other peeps.
Powerful tools, resources, exercises, questions and Q and A’s.
Worksheets and journal prompts so you can work out (eventually) what your love work is and how to bring it into your life daily.
Community. One powerful group of lovely people to share, connect and bounce around your thoughts with. (This is mandatory…no lurkers!)
Oh, and of course wee calls with me and everyone else, a bit like ‘surgeries’.

You’ll love it if…

You’re ready to cut through all the resistance, excuses, barriers and obstacles and well, you can’t afford a career coach, life coach and business coach. Three in One would be awesome, this will give you that.

What can you expect?

Well, it’s my intention that you are doing what you love to do. At the end. Or not long after. I also expect through the community (support, encouragement, motivation and accountability) that you will take more action in 5 weeks than you have in the past 15 years.

Why this course?

I cannot expect everyone to believe me when I say ‘you can do what you love to do’. When I have my professional careers advisor hat on, I sit in the ‘do what you love to do’ camp but I also will being my qualifications, experience and ‘professional’ careers advisor robes’ and solo business owner knowledge.

Want to win a Scholarship Seat?

THIS IS NOW OVER THANK YOU TO ALL WHO ENTERED

Lots of love.

Do You Want to Change? Change Your Mind.

July 29 Dawn

Have you ever wished someone would just give you a different life? A new identity. One where you could bag up all the rubbish. Bin it. And then change your neighbourhood entirely with none of the crap you created this side of the fence? I have. How easy that would be. Up sticks and leave. Thank-you-very-much.

That is how I see a lot of people approach change. They want a new identity, not the hard love work (sometimes emotional, generally always confusing process) of changing their minds.

I’ve heard a lot of people say ‘I need to change’, but I’ve yet to meet someone who actually said ‘I’m now willing to change my mind’.

Wanting to change, and being willing to change your mind are two very separate things.

Let me explain…

One way will bring about change so real and positive that today you have no reference for it, you can’t see it, it’s beyond your wildest dreams and imagination. And the other (in my experience) leads you back to your place of ‘I’ve had enough’, for you to discover that you indeed didn’t, it gets worse, you learn that you can tolerate a lot more of the same stuff that is causing the pain.

It work both ways however, you can actually tolerate a lot more love, abundance, happiness, joy in your life, you may need to change your mind if it’s not happening <– that is good news.

Do you know anyone who is always trying to change?

They could one of the nicest people to meet and be around, they may appear outwardly to be truly aware of who they are and they may say to you (from the top of my head) they have reached a level of real spiritual consciousness and yet they are constantly going through crap? Always in a drama. In total denial that they are pressure cooker, ready explode at any moment.

They move positively with ease and grace from one crisis to the next not being able to see that they are the crisis. They talk a good talk, but when you speak to them they still punish themselves: anger, blame, sickness, others fault that they aren’t living the life they really want, but they are ‘doing something about it’… that next book, that next class, that thing which will give them the answer they seek.

They talk about love, but then bitch about the person on the yoga mat next to them, or can’t even say good morning to the people who say it to them, or they can’t forgive another friends error? You see them arguing with people, throwing out guilt-trips, fearing people with their refusal to listen but they call it being the real me, when perhaps they are just being a mix of information they have read, and repeating not being.

They try more new ways to change, expect that it will be an external experience but no matter what they try it isn’t working, their life is still messy. They refuse to admit they are the common denominating factor in their own life. They want to change. But they aren’t changing their mind. The only thing they actually need to do.

I get it though. Changing your mind isn’t easy. It’s easier to fool ourselves that we change the external. (Never works by the way. Sadly the whole world can’t play out our made-up scripts just because we want it to).

I spent y-e-a-r-s playing around with change. Years refusing to change my mind. Years pretending that I had. Years stuck knee deep in crap, thinking it was the end of it, convincing myself that I was changing, but I wasn’t. I was in denial and covering up. Result? More of the same.

For me, changing my mind was actually the last resort. You don’t have to wait. From one who tried Plan A, B, C. D…Z. Change happens when a) you accept you are the common denominating factor for all your experiences and b) only you can change your life by the process of changing your mind. The external world has never changed for anyone. Ever. You change what you experience, by changing your mind.

Simple concept. Easy to write. But do? Ah. Well. Yes, if you’re willing to change your mind. No, if you still want change to happen to you.

Ever tried to change and then flunked it? Then because you’ve been taught that you failed (when you didn’t) you felt it would be a really good idea if you went on and punished yourself for not changing? Anger, upset, not being good enough, not being strong enough, letting yourself down? That’s insane. That drama is all madness.

You did nothing wrong. You just didn’t go as far as changing your mind.

So, no error, you can correct it. Simply start by saying ‘that isn’t true for me’ is a good place to begin.

If your life isn’t what you want it to be. May I make a suggestion? Quit trying to change it, and work on changing your mind. Then be prepared for change, your world cannot do anything but change if you are changing the way you look at it.

And also be prepared that when it’s actually working you will give yourself every reason to quit.

When you change your mind. You may be changing your beliefs, values, opinions. Everything you thought was the ‘truth’ you may realise wasn’t.

When you are changing your mind you may find you have no idea who the hell you are on the more. That can feel scary. It can feel you are on the cusp of something and not quite yet able to put your finger on it. That can feel disheartening and give the illusion it’s not working.

When you change your mind you probably won’t be able to explain to anyone what is happening with you, you don’t have the words or point of reference because you haven’t been here before.

When you change your mind about your life, you may even find people drop away. They still need someone to fulfill the role (that you once provided) and will seek it elsewhere.

When you change your mind, all the resistance to make the change will appear before you, on time. This requires you to make a choice. Do you go through the resistance, or do you let it stop your progress and take you off your path and return back to your ‘enough is enough’. You’ll know what to do. And there is no mistake either way.

If you decide to stop and not change your mind, don’t worry you will return to ‘normal’ quickly.

So even though you are confused, don’t know who the hell you are anymore, are going through resistance like you have never experienced, relationships are changing and all the time screaming inside to go back to what you know. Remember that all this is part of changing your mind.

Would it be okay to say to you that you can’t change your mind without your external world being a result of the change? All of it is a reaction to changing your mind.

Don’t sweat the change, enjoy the ride (ups, downs, highs, lows) of changing your mind.

Invitation:

If you need help to change your mind because you don’t want to spend the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years playing a game you know isn’t working, and you’re ready to stop playing around with your own life, please join me on the Moxie Project

Photo Credit: A Mulligan

Choose Yourself

March 14 Dawn

I remember Indoor Games PE classes at Primary School, we’d all stand in line leaning against the wall bars waiting to be chosen after two class mates were given the task by our teacher to be team leaders. She would flick a coin in the air and shout, ‘Heads or Tails? Tails chooses first’ to decide which team leader got first dibs at picking.

If you were popular that week, you got chosen first

If you were good at games, you got chosen second.

If you had friends in the team, you got chosen third.

If you were a bully, you got chosen forth.

Then it became a hard choice for the selected leaders, they had their team pretty much in place and anything left in the line-up was surplus to requirements. The choosing would slow down. The leaders and those selected up to that point would have a little team-talk-huddle-thing to discuss the leftovers.

From what I remember there was a core group of around 8 children who were always left at the wall bars wishing the process to be over and begging not to be chosen last.

Being a chubby chick let’s just say when it came to springboards, apparatus, wooden horses and climbing ropes I … well … wasn’t great. I could get my legs wrapped around the knot at the bottom of the rope and that was it.

The springboard never seemed to bounce and spring for me like how did for others.

However, when it came to running, I was always chosen first. I couldn’t get my ass over a wooden horse with grace, but I could make it move on a track.

Today I’m wondering what would’ve happened if the Wall Bar Gripper Gang choose to be like Switzerland, an independent team. My imagination is running riot here, it would have been so awesome if it played like one of those Hollywood/Disney movies where the underdogs become the champions.

Are you clinging to wall bars, waiting at the side to be chosen?

Did someone ask you to line up there or did you go there yourself?

Are you waiting to be selected? How’s that working for you?

Yes, I know. You may be thinking choosing yourself is another cookie-cutter sound-bite from self-help-land. I know that you may may be thinking, ‘how the hell can I choose myself when I have no idea who the hell that person is any more!’ (Hint: A great starting point is your values.)

What could happen if you made a decision to appoint yourself?

What won’t happen if you don’t choose yourself?

If you aren’t choosing yourself first, what are you rejecting?

There Is Nothing to Fear In Getting Paid. Pinky Promise

February 20 Dawn

Maybe you know someone who has no fear but I can’t think of any solo business owner who hasn’t got some resistance somewhere when it comes to their business:

Asking for payment + being paid.
Putting themselves out there
Hitting send and publish
Speaking about prices
Networking

The two that will ensure don’t have a business for very long is speaking about prices and asking for payment of services, or in short … selling.

For many they would rather run-away to hills and hang out for bit, they are what I call Stuck in Production Mode (or staying safe and bankrupt) with only doing the free creation rather than ask for payment.

Production Mode all depends on you and your business activities but I’ve seen it include: only offering free services, only offering free content, creating content (blogging, articles, guest posts) if online but missing or ignoring selling, no calls to action and marketing of services, doing things for people to help them out (while at the same time wishing they could be paid for their work), tweaking a website when it doesn’t need done, taking course, after course, after course when you already have the skills and resources your need but you would rather stay a learner than a seller.

Let’s face it, the excuse of ‘I’m not ready yet‘ is better than ‘I’m really fecking scared!’

Usually people stuck in Production Mode will have all the reasons and excuses not to sell: the website isn’t ready, the product isn’t perfect, I need to do this first (when they don’t), I’ve not done it yet because. Sometimes what they say is accurate but those resisting and stuck (I believe) 100% know the difference and when real reasons are just bullshit.

Look, we all need time to produce. We all need space to work out what the market wants and create it. But you haven’t got a business unless you take it to market and people buy it.

Even us, the people who don’t want selling and marketing to be like that guy, who want to stay close to our core values and not become slimy, sleazy, unethical beasts we still have to eat and pay the bills. Otherwise we don’t have a business, we have a very expensive hobby.

Many of the people I meet would rather throw up rather than ask for payment, sell or market. They would rather reduce all their prices with the mindset this will be cheap enough for people to say yes/come/take part. They only thing that happens when you keep changing prices, offering reductions, bargain offers, specials is people don’t trust your own pricing structure and you.

How can they? How can they really know what value and benefit your product or service is if you don’t have faith in it or keep it consistent?

Hate Asking for Money/Payment?

First, awareness is good. So you’re on track here. Second, it’s a confidence issue. Yours. I’d suggest you work through the issues you have about money and asking for payment of services.

I’m going to assume you are genuine and sincere about your work. You believe that what you do helps people and changes lives, and you are confident about your ability to deliver it. Am I right?

So can you see the faulty wiring needs repaired in you? You can see clearly when you know what you do is a solution to many folks headaches, yes? You aren’t selling a pile of old crap – what you do isn’t shameful, it’s not embarrassing, you have no need to feel any guilt about offering solutions to peoples headaches or nightmares.

You are helping people. That is the mindset to start with.

Next, the more you ask for payment of services (for what they are worth) the easier it becomes. While you waste time playing and dancing with resistance – the quickest way over it is to break it, you could be two-stepping around it for years otherwise.

How?

You need to communicate with the source: with the people who want or are interested in your services, your audience or ideal client.

It’s a waste of time asking everyone because they aren’t your market.

Ask them for feedback: offer a limited amount of free session each month. Ask people to comment on what you are working on. Only give people what they want to buy.

I can’t tell you how many solo business owners I know who are totally frustrated – having spent months creating a product only for no one to want it at the end. You can get out of Production Mode quicker if you know people are waiting on what you are offering.

Listen to your audience: ask them ongoing questions about what they want, perhaps ask them to take a survey, offer a space for them to tell you their common fears, frustrations, and solutions they want achieve.

Test the market: tell people what you’re working on, ask them for feedback, ask them to contribute their thoughts. offer beta products at a reduced cost.

Find out what they want: then produce it (assuming it is something that people pay for!)

Mention money somewhere: if you offer everything for free don’t be upset when people are bit peeved when you start asking for money. You set the tone, you raised that expectation not them. Have something to sell with the value of what it’s worth on your website, materials, marketing information – talk money. If you say you are business owner people know you sell stuff.

Offers/Reductions: you may be tempted to reduce everything, and give offers for everything you do. Or worse use language that isn’t yours but borrowed from someone else because you haven’t dealt with your own resistance: this is a steal, it’s a great offer, for today and Friday it’s only…

You are training your own audience that you are the ‘offer and reduction’ person. Worse (again) it may not be what the value is. It could be worth a lot more to the person who is going to get the results. Getting into the ‘cheap and free rut’ is really hard to pull yourself out from. If you don’t know the value and benefits to what you are selling, neither does your audience. On that, are you selling to the right audience?

Take action: resistance is like a rusty door. It’s not locked but it’s hard to open, almost impossible at first. But the more you push and scrape away at the old rust it gently begins to push. Get comfortable. Lean in. Work away at it.

If you’ve ever had resistance to asking for payment, how did you overcome it?