Dawn Barclay

Helping you align all that you do with your core values

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Monday Morning Pep Talk: Stop Dreaming (‘Kinda!)

This was in the ‘Nearly a Newsletter’ Not signed up? See that big box over on the right. Yeah, that one. Fill that in, and I’ll send a copy. (It’s suitable for vegans.)

Following Dreams. Catch the Dream. Dream Big.

You know the words. You’re bombarded with the messages that ‘dreaming’ is a really good thing.

It is.

But don’t betray them.

Now, before anyone sends me screeching hate mail instructing me that it’s my ‘job to encourage people to dream’.

Let me ask you this: are you stuck in the dream of what you would like to create?

Many of you have been sending emails about ‘your big dreams’. And in them, you’re talking about ‘if the time were right I would…’, or ‘maybe when the…(fill in the blank)…I will’.

I know we’ve been here before but no time will ever be the 100% right time to start anything.

Never. Ever. Ever

Wake up. Trust Yourself. Aspire. Action.

Click to Tweet >> Wake up. Trust Yourself. Aspire. Action.

What’s the difference? Loads.

It’s as different as night and day!

Dream: to vision

Awaken: consciously aware

Aspire: pursue

Creation requires action. (And dreaming time.)

How much have you pursued the dream when conscious? How long, specifically, have you been ‘asleep’?

Wake up.

1. Just start.

2. Put in the 1st attempt.

3. Do something towards the creation today. You don’t have to do it all today!

4. Stop listening to your brain critic that it’s not the right time, this won’t work, what am I doing this for, I’m not ready, it’s too big a dream to start.

Really? Then close your eyes.

Sleep on and dream this:

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”

The Life/Balance Wheel (Free Workbook)

You are all out of sorts.

You have plans. Stuff that you want to work on. But thinking about it all has you seeing big mountains to climb over.

Overwhelm? Oh, yes.

You perhaps haven’t got a ruddy clue where to start or what to do first.

This little tool is used a lot (I mean a LOT) in coaching, some call it the ‘Wheel of Success’ others the ‘Wheel of  Life’.

You can pretty much take a blank wheel (which is included in download) and use it for any area of your life.

Clients love it, they always find an ‘a-ha momento’ completing it, but then, they do have someone (me) sitting next to them bursting their brain with a heap of questions, challenging them, asking them for clarification on every little detail.

So advice: take your time, and try not to dismiss the thoughts that come up but question them.

What else?

Oh, yeah, just because it’s called the balance wheel it would be easy to assume it’s all about weighing things up.

It’s not. Not really.

Balance wheels were used in watches and clocks to make sure they were keeping tickety-boo-top-notch time.

Translate that into a wheel for your personal development: it’s about identifying what’s not working, what needs some focus and attention, what’s out of sync, what is long overdue some TLC!

If balance wheels didn’t work in watches, the right time was never displayed.

Same in life, if the balance is all out, some areas of life suffer over others.

I’ll shut up now, ’cause it’s all in the worksheet.

Here’s how to get it…

sign up here
for the Balance Wheel Workbook & Updates

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Personal Branding and a Lesson from Picasso

A client says to me: “I’m not applying for an executive role, and the people on LinkedIn are in more professional jobs than I’m going for, so why should I bother about personal branding?“

I drew them this picture (it wasn’t exactly this one, the one I created was on a Costa Coffee napkin which I had to use coming home in the car during a sneezing fit and is in no state to be photographed) and then asked them if they would like to buy it from me.

personalbrandingdawnstyle
Whoever says they ‘can’t draw’ lies!

They laughed.

“No, it’s awful, I could do better!”

I then did a quick image search online, at the same time asking them “Would you ever buy a Picasso, or like one as a gift?”

They laughed.

“Of course, it would be worth a fortune”

I turned the computer towards them and showed them this drawing, by Picasso.

Artwork by Mr Picasso

Me: “So you would buy this picture, and not mine, or you would accept it as a gift because it’s a Picasso, you believe the name alone is valuable?”

Client:  “Well, yeah, erm (cue the confusion and penny dropping), of course it means more, it’s a Picasso, it’s ‘art’, yours, well (waves napking in disgust) and I know you’re not famous, or that it’s worth anything! (Me: Humph!)

Me: “So can I clarify, the second drawing means more to you because you know who the person is, and what they are, and what they do (did), you see that drawing as really valuable because of the name, is that right?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “So, do you think if people knew who you were, that you were valuable, if they were aware of what you did and what you stood for, it would make you more appealing to employers?”

Client: (Penny hits brain!) “Urgh! Get it. I get it”

Picasso the name alone is a brand. And in this case, when it comes to art, Picasso got into my clients brain first: of course his art work is far more valuable than mine.f

(IMO) It’s not whether or not you should brand yourself, we all have a brand whether we like it or not. We don’t create the brand. The brand is created for us, in the minds of others.

Tweet This: Whether we like it or not we all have a personal brand

What’s yours?

As valuable as Picasso, or a snotty Costa Coffee used napkin?

Do You Quit or Keep Going?

Photo Credit: neonfreedom.tumblr.com/

What’s your plan of action for the times you feel like you want to quit?

I read in a forum a few months back a question from a member: ‘How do you know when it’s time to quit?’ because the forum is filled with small business owners all but one of the 42 replies said, ‘keep going, you’ll get there’.

The one reply that didn’t say keep going asked questions such as:

How much time do you have?
Do you have the money?
What have you tried so far?
How long have you been attempting to achieve the goal, have you changed the goal?
What’s working?
Have you quit what isn’t working? <—Kaching!

Before we talk about quitting let’s make sure we are on the same page, I’m not saying ‘just quit’.

No way. (This post isn’t you’re permission slip or get out jail free card, I don’t give them out.)

There is a massive difference between the person just giving up because things are getting a little painful and uncomfortable, to the person who has tried a million ways to make something work, and it’s not happening.

There is a massive difference between the person trying something for a week, to another pouring years of their life into an idea: all their time, energy, money and creativity. When what they wanted to achieve has taken every single last piece of their soul.

You’ve probably heard the saying ‘winners never quit, and losers never win’.

Tosh-pot I say.

Some of the worlds most ‘successful’ people have quit and failed, quit, failed, then won.

They ‘won’ because they quit what wasn’t working.

We don’t get that from that statement.

For you, the person who started a business to gain more time, freedom, and money and now find yourself working 20 hours a day, missing your family and wondering where the hell the money is going to come from to pay the bills at the end of the month, you may feel like quitting…I know I have.

For you changing career, when doors slam in your face, when people say again and again ‘we were looking for someone with more experience’ or ‘you were our second choice’, you may want to quit and return to the role you know…I know I have.

For relationships, when you are wanting to make it work but the arguments and pain far outweigh the good experiences and love, you may want to quit…I know I have.

How do we know the difference  from when it’s time to quit, and time to keep on going to reach the breakthroughs we want to happen?

Is the problem we see quitting as a failure?

And failure is such a dirty word, huh? Who wants to fail?

Why is quitting feared?

What’s your definition of quitting? Is it to change paths and direction, to say goodbye to what isn’t working to make room for the new. Or does it include shame and guilt?

Back to my small business owner forum friend. I wonder if they wanted someone to write ‘Just quit’. That they needed to hear if anyone else had been where they were at, and to receive permission would’ve made their decisions easier?

Times when it’s probably okay to quit…

1. You’ve Changed

Take my business for example, I started in 2003, aged 32. The initial business activities sat with a handful of my core values, but not the ones that really mattered. And it was painful. I hated the business as it stood then, and in the end it made me ill.

The clients were great. The business, no.

I quit the model it was then. Letting it go and saying goodbye to what it was known for.

Scary? Yes!

Feelings of failure? No. Fecking freeing.

2. When you can’t bring yourself to work on the business (career, relationship etc) because you hate every aspect of what it’s become: it’s time to quit, to change, to shift paths

Will it be painful? That’s your choice.

3. When the good days are so few and far between. Slogging something out because you’re scared to say ‘shitz, this ain’t working, better try something else’, is more painful that actually doing it.

4. When what you are doing is leaving you empty inside. That seems a little ‘woowoo’ here’s what I mean: when you have no passion, purpose, energy for what you are doing or the goals you created. But don’t get this confused with frustration that things aren’t happening quick enough.

Trust yourself that you know the difference between empty and run down. (I was empty!)

And, while we’re at, goals change, that’s the whole point of goals, to be expect the best, and plan for the worst. Or in this case, plan for the success, and have alternative routes to get there.

4. When there is so much resentment towards what you are doing. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not good.

5. When what you do de-presses you and you can’t lift yourself up to change.

It’s okay to stop, let go, put an end to something because it just doesn’t fit with who you are now. It is okay. You’re a creative ever evolving being.

And you may be thinking ‘but it’s not my time to quit, I need to try it a little longer‘.

You know, that’s fine too. You know you best.

But I offer you some advice: whether for your life, biz, career. Get help. Tell people what you’re struggling with.

Lastly, Feck The F Word!

Failure.

Look around the Internet for posts on ‘failing and failure’. Plenty will ask you if you’re a quitter or failure.

Screw them. I’ve failed so many times, but is my life a failure, am I a failure, am I heck. Neither are you if you’ve failed a few times, life can get tough enough without adding a label to yourself!

Some of the worlds greatest inventions were built upon many failed attempts, because people were brave enough to quit what wasn’t working sooner rather than later – that has always been the way, and it always will be the way.

We all need to learn what works and what doesn’t, that’s how we grow, develop, become fabby human beings. 

We can learn it quickly from others, or we can discover it ourselves.

Failure isn’t bad.

People teaching we should ‘feel’ bad and guilty for quitting is a crime.

So you may decide to quit a project, goal, idea that you started. You haven’t failed if you learn from it: the errors and mistakes of the past are learning for the future.

Learn from your mistakes and be aware of ‘failed attempts’ quicker.

There is no way a scientist trying to find a cure for a disease would carry out the same experiment over and over again hoping for a different outcome. If something doesn’t work: change it or quit, don’t keep flogging it wishing for a better result.

You aren’t a failure if you quit an idea. You aren’t a quitter if an idea fails.

Personally I feel I’ve failed myself when I didn’t quit something sooner. Or I battled on with a failed idea from the start. But never, ever, do I see myself as a failure. You?

Do you get that?

Deep down, do you see the difference?

Quitting can bring amazing emotional release. I’m not kidding.

Where others see it as a failure, I see it as empowering. If you are the person making the choice and taking the decisions.

To let go, to say goodbye to that which isn’t working, on your terms, is personal power.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis

Your Turn :: Have you ever made the decision to quit, and it was exactly the right thing? How did you get to the decision? 

 

7 Things To Do the Day Before the Day of the Interview (Phew!)

Before we begin, just a quick reminder about what interviewers are really like, the results may shock you:

  • They go to the loo, like you.
  • They may hate Mondays, like you.
  • They are showing their ‘best’ self, like you.
  • They have yuckie stuff going on their life, like you.
  • They have good days and bad days at work, like you.
  • They may have the tea conversation every night, like you.
  • They eat, sleep, and probably have arguements with loved ones, like you.
  • They have probably put  an extra effort on what they are wearing on interview day, like you.

They’re human, remember that.

Here’s 7 Things To Do The Day Before, The Day Before, The Day of The Interview:

1. Read The Company/Employer Website Back to Front, Upside Down, In All the Nooks and Crannies

Spend as much time on it as you do on Facebook in a week. Follow all their links, who are they connecting with, what are they talking about, what projects are they working on?

If they have a blog, read the darn thing, what are they talking about? What are they involved with? What are their ideas?

Have nosey at their Tweets, Facebook updates, Linkedin status – what are they saying on social media?

Follow, like and add them.

Write down five things that interested you. When you’re being interviewed, if it’s appropriate, talk about what you found out on their website. **Say you were on it**. Can the information you learned be turned into questions? See no 2!

Extra Reading: Using Linkedin To Follow Potential Customers from Great Resumes Fast

2. Prepare Questions Please

Five of them at least. Not the salary one or the holidays one.

Take out the job description, person specification or any other material you have (see no 1) and see if you can find something in those to write cracking, awesome questions.

If not, think like an interviewer. What would you love to be asked about the job or role if you were interviewing?

Go back to the job description or person spec and ask yourself, what problems are they trying to solve with this position?

Extra Reading: Think Like and Employer on Harvard Business Review article by Bill Barrett

3. Go and Visit the Place Where the Interview Is Being Held (if you can)

Without looking like a creepy stalker, get a feel for the building (if you can get in). Check out the atmosphere.

Where are people going for lunch and coffee? Nip to those also. Get a real sense of the place.

I have all my employability clients do this, if you already have a feel for a place, know what to expect I promise this reduces nerves.

Try this: make chums with the reception peeps. Tell them you are coming for an interview and want to get a feel for the place. Ask them what their interview was like, they’ll tell you.

4. Visualise The Start, Middle and End of the Interview

Think of all the things that may put you of your stride: a ‘wimp’ handshake, a not so friendly smile, stares from the panel?

See them happening and then prepare yourself ‘mentally’ of how you will successfully cope and react. Then, see yourself after the interview, get a picture and feeling of how you are going to leave. Play it over and over again.

Do You Have a Fear of Meetings try the exercise at the bottom of the page.

5. Have Answers for Your Awkward Questions in Advance

Some of my clients say ‘what if they ask me about that’, usually they’re referring to a gap, perhaps a role that didn’t last because they hated it, or a personal time in their life that they aren’t comofrtable talking about.

You need to be ready. If you have any anxiety over what you might be asked, you can prepare for it.

Think of the questions you don’t want to be asked and prepare your answers. Play them in your head. Ensure your reply is honest, yet still would have no reflection on the role you are applying for. It won’t will it? There is no question that you cannot answer, see no 7!

You probably have a few ‘personal’ toughies that aren’t covered anywhere online! Ask a friend to listen to your reply to your awkward question, and ask them to give you feedback on your answer.

6. Get A Mock Interview In

If you can afford it hire a career coach to run through a mock interview with you, do it. If you’re low waged or not working at the moment, and in the UK, do a little research and find organisations in your local area who provide that offer employability services (start with your local volunteer group or centre).

Mock interviews (done well) are a fantastic opportunity to iron out any sticky points, plus get feedback on presentation skills, how you came across, what did an answer sound like, was it good enough, did you say enough etc.  A good ‘mock’ will feel like the real deal.

7. Remember You’re Nearly There

About those nerves, you’ve earned the right to be there, please remember that.

They want to meet you, think on that for a second. They already think that you might be suitable for the role, they came to this conclusion through your CV or Application Form (however you got in the door). So you’re half way there.

If you believe what you wrote, then you know that you only have to live up to what you said.

Yes, you’ll probably have competition. And that’s good, right? If you were interviewing you want to have a choice, wouldn’t you?

Write a list of your key strengths before your interview. When they ask you ‘do you have any questions’ (which they will), it’s perfectly fine to say ‘I just wanted to leave you with a few of my strengths and where you could use them‘ and tell them.

The first impression is mega important, the lasting impression is the one that sticks.

Help:

If you needs some interview prep contact me, we can even hook up for some coaching.

Your Turn

What are your top tips to do the day before, the day before the day of the interview?

Life. Are You A Toe Dipper or a Full Frontal?

When you get a minute Google ‘cold swimming images’, interesting pics.

Have you ever wanted to dive into a swimming pool or venture into the sea on a sweltering hot day?

It looks so inviting, you’re dripping sweat like a shoplifter in Harrods and you want to get in, but you just know because you’ve done this before, it’s going to be baltic.

Instead of going for it, you do the Human Biscuit Dunk Test (there’s no such test!) assuming the rather risky maneuver of pool side hovering, or the threat of waves reaching your thighs unexpectedly if your beside the seaside, beside the sea.

You could’ve ran and jumped in.

How long would you have been screaming like a chimp just been robbed of it’s banana? What, five minutes? The pain of a full dive doesn’t last long, does it?

But you went for the toe dip. Not even the ‘Half Shut The Knife‘ move: up to the waist and gagagagagasping because it’s so fecking cold.

See, the thing about toe dipping is, it’s really easy to stop and retreat back.

But the with the full frontal, you’re in there, up to your eyes in it. You’ll probably cope with the change eventually, your body temperature will start to regulate out.

A bit like that (sick) boiling frog experiment. Throw (don’t though, I don’t advocate trying this at home, but I’m veggie) a frog in hot water it will try to escape, but pop it in cold water and heat it up gently it won’t move, just slowly be boiled alive (surely that’s wrong, boiled dead it should be, how can you be boiled alive?) Perfect metaphor for gradual change though.

Sometimes I think personal growth should be a full frontal.

Other times a toedip.

But never a cling on to the sides.

Because that’s no movement. It’s neither in or out.

Where are you clinging to the side? What may happen if you let go?