Dawn Barclay

Helping you align all that you do with your core values

Blog

When Should You Stop Reading About It and Just Do It?

History class. 1st year at High School. The teachers name I’ve forgotten, I have no memory of her face.

The subject was Victorian Britain, the lesson was about children, as young as 5. who were forced to work done coal pits and mines.

I don’t remember what she said. I remember how she got us to never to forget.

For 20 minutes of the lesson she asked us to sit underneath the table.

We were to be Trappers, the name given to the children who sat in a cramped space for 18 hours a day, with no-one to talk to, no light and unable to move freely.

The first five minutes it was funny. The second five minutes it was uncomfortable. The third five minutes it was getting annoying. The last five minutes we were starting to complain.

And the lesson?

It’s stuck.

If you want information read books.

If you want to understand have experiences.

Same in 1st year history class.

Same in life.

Are we connected?

1. Sign up here(or in that huge box below) for updates and other goodies delivered to your inbox + get the goodies.

2. Join the facebook page for updates and rants.

What Life Lessons Are You Leaving for Others?

“I never teach my pupils, I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.”  Albert Einstein

One of my great teachers George Rowney passed some years ago. He was the Zen Master of Whacky, Wonderful and Happiness.

He was Irish. If I were to say to you he was a stereotypical Irishman, you may assume he drank Guinness and was quick witted. You would be correct. The man was hysterical. He also grew the best tomatoes, had the greenest lawn, the sharpest hedges, the worst driving in the world and the best sweeties in his pocket.

If you were to visit him in daylight, the chances were extremely high you would find him in the greenhouse:  sitting in his red and white striped deckchair with missing springs, smoking his brought back from holiday pipe  and listening to brass bands playing on BBC Radio 4.

When you opened the door you would probably have had take a step back as the smoke escaped.

He served in the WW11. He never spoke of it. Only once.

One day when I tried to ask questions his voice changed pitch and he rubbed his  eyes. As an adult I now know he was hiding his personal nightmares and said, “I can’t. I don’t want to remember. Nobody should have to take those orders.”

A compassionate man, his greatest love was his wife. She never got better from a stroke and he became her full-time nurse/carer. He did this for years with no complaint … ever. He took on all the duties that a nurse in a care home has, purely so his love would never have to live in one.

His teachings have never been published anywhere. Until now.

He taught:

  • Smile. Smiles are like puppies, everyone loves them, everyone picks them up.
  • Dance whenever you can even if you’ve two left feet.
  • Never be afraid of the dark. There is always light in the morning.
  • Always turn around and wave goodbye.
  • Road trips are an essential part of living life.
  • Celebrations must be celebrated, even if money is tight.
  • Play. Always play. There is always time for fun.
  • Ice cream drinks made with lemonade are essential to a healthy lifestyle.
  • You can sleep anywhere. But when awake, be alive.
  • There is no time for regrets. Not if you’re still here
  • Whenever you can always sing along to the music.
  • Never follow an order that your values scream against.
  • You must enjoy a bath and sing in the shower.
  • Don’t argue when you’re angry.
  • Roll up your trouser legs + walk barefoot wherever you can.
  • Greet everyone how you love to be greeted.
  • Always have butter. Margarine isn’t food.
  • If you want to create the best garden. Tender it with love.
  • You can be strong and vulnerable.
  • Always carry an Emergency Biscuit in your pocket.
  • Don’t plan for retirement. Retire ‘one day soon’ plans.
  • Don’t take the car when you can walk.
  • Speak to everyone you meet.
  • Dress to please yourself, nobody else.
  • Love. Real love. It’s not up for question.

When I ran sobbing into his house because I’d flunked half my exams, he took the piece of paper, read  it, looked up and said, “One day this won’t matter. Real teachers in life won’t ask you to sit an exam.”

He then dug into his pocket, pulled out a £10 note, handed me it and said, “Nip to the shop, we need lemonade and ice cream for drinks. That’s an order.”

1. Sometimes you don’t need to jump into books and attend courses to remember what you already know.

2. There will come a season when you will cease to exist. For a few seasons after that people will remember your time here. What will they share about you?

And lastly…

Do you/did you have a George Rowney person (my Granda) in your life? What are a few of their unpublished teachings? Please create them in the comments.

 

Are we connected?

1. Sign up here for updates and other goodies delivered to your inbox + get the goodies.

2. Join the facebook page for updates and rants.

Event: Open Fundraising + Charity Firewalk 1st December, Edinburgh

What if …

  • You did something that would inspire the pants of you and inspire others?
  • You did something that you always thought was impossible? How would that impact your life?
  • You could replicate the state of mind you had while walking on fire into other areas of your life?

The firewalk is one of those life changing experiences where you can’t truly explain it until you’ve done it. Some think it’s not possible (it is), some think it’s a trick (it’s not), some think it’s not a real fire (eh?).

Firewalks are an extreme metaphor for personal growth:

  • It’s not about walking on fire, it’s about breaking limiting beliefs.
  • It’s not about hypnosis or tricks, it’s about you using all your personal power and potential.
  • It’s not about facing fears, it’s blasting through the false truths.

About this walk:

As well as challenging yourself (and discover what is possible for you) you can raise money for your favourite charity or cause.

Being an open event, you get to choose who you walk for.

Perfect.

Hot Stuff.

Wonderful.

What exactly is it?

You. Walking barefoot across hot coals measuring about 1200 degrees Fahrenheit (give or take a few degrees).

Fundraising aside, why on earth would you want to walk on fire?

You’ll feel this happy…

Get this excited…

Look awfully cool…

Want to know more?

To find out about this event, how it works, what to expect and how to book hot foot it (sorry) to the Firewalk and Fundraising page.

 

In a World of Pure Imagination

Where did you spend your time as a child? I spent a lot of time in my room. Our room. My sister and I shared.

The room was a stage, a dance school, a library, an artists loft, a recording studio. It was even an indoor tennis court before my parents banned that usage.

Like many beautiful grand old buildings it eventually fell into a state of disrepair. People stopped visiting.

In it’s heyday it was full of energy, passion, wonder, curiosity and excitement. Minutes after I moved out it’s true owners moved in and began to renovate. Furnishings were boxed, stored or binned.

The room became a bedroom. One purpose only.

Today I have many rooms, but none like that one. They are kept clean and orderly. They aren’t often used for a different purpose.

Creating Room To …

I believe we all need a room or even just some room.

The room doesn’t have to be a physical space, but it has to be spacious.

Spacious enough to play around with ideas. Room enough to breathe, imagine, play out new thoughts.

In the non-physical space (your mind), you can do whatever you want in the room, you don’t need to let anyone in to see what you are doing or what your up to. It’s secret. It’s safe. It’s just for you.

To allow the room, you may have to clear a little of what’s been dumped there aside. Not much. Just a space where you aren’t keeping any garbage.

Try this: 

Take 30 minutes sometime this week. 30 minutes? Heck, 20 minutes then. Take something for you. You’re going to furnish your room. You’ll need some physical space so nip to a favourite spot, or lock yourself in the toilet if it’s easier. You can write or you can think.

If writing, don’t edit. That’s one rule.

Start every thought with, “In my room…,” and then go for it. Just let your thoughts guide you. If you find yourself wandering come back to the opening, “In my room…,” or if you are fighting to stay put for 30 minutes go for the other side and start with, “In my room I don’t want…”.

Let your mind take over. Instead of spending longer than 20 minutes a day coming up with excuses and reasons why you can’t create what you want to create, you always have the room and space in your mind to create whatever you want.

If your brain does not know the difference between what is a real experience and what is imagined, in this little exercise your creating new paths to the room you long to create.

Jump to it. 20 minutes. (And another 20 every week if you can manage it!)

Are we connected?

1. Sign up here for updates and other goodies delivered to your inbox + get the goodies.

2. Join the facebook page for updates and rants.

 

Photo Credit: Imagination Archann on Deviant Art

 

Start Over and Repeat.


Every week — sometimes a couple of times a week. When I login to this website, I click on create new post and I’m always faced with a blank screen.

Every week — sometimes a couple of times a week: I must start over as there is no alternative.

When faced with the blank screen I’m taken over with that other version of me. The one who edits, deletes, and rips everything apart.

I had an epiphany moment 53 minutes ago while … making a brew.

‘Aint life like creating new blog posts.

Huh?

As we haven’t experienced this moment before, we are continually starting over.

So what if I’ve written over 200 posts in here and that I’ve lived 15,165 days : there is nothing to say I can’t live my 15,166th in an entirely different way.

By the time I make my next coffee, in about 15 minutes, there is nothing to say I cannot make it in an entirely different way than what I made the last.

Nothing.

Tomorrow when you wake up, image you are logging in to life, and you are faced with a blank page.

What do you have to say?

In life no edit button exists and we’re hitting publish every moment.

What do you need to get down?

What (if you could) go back over and read over your day and moments?

How do you feel as you read over what you wrote yesterday?

And if you have just scrolled down, this next part is the bones …

What you create is all down to you. All of it. You can create new pages. Start over. Repeat.

Because there is nothing to say that the page you are creating now is the page you must continue on. Nothing.

You. Just You. Decides the content.

Start over. Repeat. Wonderful.

When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose: what a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page. Eileen Caddy

Are we connected?

1. Sign up here for updates and other goodies delivered to your inbox + get the goodies.

2. Join the facebook page for updates and rants.

When Was the Last Time, You Did Something for the First Time?

I opened this book last night.

It deserves (I believe) to be in all the Top 100 best books of our times lists.

I realise if you were forced to read it in High School because you live in the US you might think differently, and hate the darn book.

In the UK we’re forced to read E. B. White’s Charlotte’s Web, or Charlie Orwell’s 1984.

(Aside: Charlotte’s Web is where childhood ends for us Scots. Cruel book. Cruel. Poor Spider. And I have come to the conclusion all child readers of Charlotte’s Web don’t kill spiders as adults. It always feels wrong, as if we’re murdering a member of Charlotte’s family. No matter how huge and scary it is.)

The Smelly Old Book

My copy of On The Road has an odour of second-hand book shops, it won’t be long before the smell will overpower the words and make it unreadable.

Inside the cover written in pencil, in the usual spot up on the right hand corner where second hand owners obviously are taught to put the price it says $2.00.

If the stinky book were lucky enough to ever get a new owner they will read when they open the front cover a message in blue faded ink:

To Kipper Barclay, calm down a bit. Remember Jim’s knicker parties and tell the story with pride. Kiss. Kiss. Ciao. Matte

A story within a story. One line.

I never tell the story, however my friend Matte does, all the time.

It’s his I know something about Dawn story.

It’s his bonding story to friends of mine he’s meeting for the first time.

That story has crossed oceans.

And it’s grown in the past 17 years, like my love for him.

I let him share it, he loves to tell it.

When he relives the moment, I’m feeling what I felt the months spent on the road with him and my other friend and travel buddy.

I type here. Now. Happy.

Being Open to the Unfamiliar

I read On the Road for the first while travelling in America, what a cliché, huh? A book about exploring self through the highways and cities of America, while exploring myself travelling the highway and cities of America. Commence rolling of eyes…now.

I know the core of that trip was the openness I had to new experiences. It was one big curious awesome experiment.

How open are you to the new?

On that road trip there was no convention, no rules, no familiarity, no permission needing granted, the daily routine was having no routine, we took risks.

There are parts of that trip I wish to always remember:

  • The conversation (three swear words, one from each of us) as we walked up to the Grand Canyon for the first time. US 0f A’ers, that is one mighty big hole in the ground you have there.
  • Running through the The Art Institute in Chicago to sit in front of my favourite painting (which I never thought two years previous I would ever see), for the first time.
  • The unfortunate incident on the bus from Detroit: personal safety at risk, for the first time.
  • Almost drowning in the Pacific: a life is precious wake up call, for the first time.

Many little stories within the big story.

In the daily routine new experiences don’t appear to happen that often.

But I think that’s wrong. Is the routine making us to busy to notice?

What if it was part of your daily routine were to have new experiences?

What if you approached everything for the first time? Or last time?

  • How would you say goodbye?
  • How would you greet loved ones?
  • How would you say goodnight to those who matter most?
  • How would you hug your loved ones?
  • What would you want to say?
  • How would you enter your work tomorrow?
  • What would you create next?

Isn’t life all one line stories written within the big story? Isn’t life remembered by the events that made you feel?

When I think of that trip, I don’t remember the buses we boarded, the trains we caught, the places where we stayed, I remember the feeling of experiencing something for the first time. I can recall the feelings in a heart beat. Like opening the book last night and reading that line.

Nobody needs to travel somewhere to experience life with no convention, no rules, no permission.

They need to go inwards. Not out.

What would happen if you approached each moment as if it were the first time?

What if you ditched routine (even for a day) and lived each moment for the last time?

Stay connected:

1. Sign up here for updates and other goodies delivered to your inbox + get the goodies.

2. Join the facebook page for courageous and brave peeps. Dawn xxx