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Dawn Barclay

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On Being ‘All’ to ‘All’

July 4 Dawn

Mostly I am surrounded by people who are givers.

People who would bend over backward, and then a little more, to help others out, sometimes to the detriment of their own health and well-being.

They say yes to every request them, they don’t want to see others suffer, they rush in to rescue and save the day, and they are first to soothe and last to step back.

I’ve worked with coaches (and been one myself) who want to be the ‘all and everything to everyone’, they want to help people, even if the most loving thing they could do is say, ‘No, I can’t’. Not just for them, but also for the person they are working with. Simply because they don’t all the answers.

Givers are a valuable commodity.

And they are prone to burning themselves out. Givers can have a hard time learning that when a problem is presented in front of them it’s okay to take a step back, get a little perspective and recognise their own limitations.

They may get upset when they give a huge part of themselves, their time, their resources and the receiver isn’t happy with what they’ve got, or they haven’t listened or acted on their solution.

Sometimes we have to accept that some people are not ready to receive alternatives (even when asked for), it doesn’t matter what is presented to them, in what way, in what format, even with love. And we have to accept that we may not be the right person to deliver a message.

They are where they are, and that’s okay.

We all have the right to be somewhere.

We are all standing in our own power, what that power looks and feels like is only known to the person.

As much as a giver wants to empower another, occasionally stepping back is the only way it can be done.

Consider this:

Do you need to step back in order for another person to step into their own power? 

 

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