Did you make New Year Resolutions?
Have they stuck?
Did you get to the 3rd of January and realise that you forgot (or ignored) your great plans made less than 48 hours earlier?
You are not alone.
The majority of New Years resolutions made are never followed through to the end result. 75% of them in fact.
Are you one of the remaining 25%, or do you fall into the ‘not worked try next year’ bracket?
Why wait another YEAR before changing something that no longer works for you?
Why do resolutions generally not work?
The arrival of new year seems to be the time when we reflect on all areas of our lives. We think back on the last 365 days and consider our ‘might have beens’. We say things like ‘Where has this year gone; it’s just flew’.
We all know the year just passed is going to be the same length of time as the year to come.
Yet, for many of us we build all our hope, aspirations, goals into one day, January the 1st, and we do it by looking back! It’s like this day alone can only be used for getting a fresh perspective, acceptance that things have to change and acknowledgement of the areas of our lives that no longer work for us.
New Year resolutions may have no thought attached (for the flagging 75% of us). They generally can carry no weight, hence the no legs! All resolutions or goals require a change of thought patterns to change unwelcome behaviour or a change of behaviour to change unwelcome thoughts.
Imagine for a moment the resolution as being the table top. How can we give it some legs to carry its weight?
Leg 1: Preparation is Key!
All fantastic resolutions require thought, planning and action taken. So, for instance, say your resolution is to weigh less . Start thinking of yourself thinner.
Get a clear picture in your head of YOU thin…
What will it feel like?
Where will you shop?
What size will you be?
What will you be eating?
Will you feel sexier?
Will you be fitter?
What activities will you be doing?
Or, what about a new career? What if your New Year resolution is to get paid for something you love to do? THINK about the picture, the end result.
Where are you working?
What is the environment like?
What are you wearing?
How do you get there?
What are your workmates like?
What are you doing?
What are you saying?
Now, remember your brain moves towards what it thinks about most. It moves towards the dominant picture.
Your job is easy–create and prepare your brain for the new pictures and make the one you want (the resolution or GOAL) the most dominant.
Then what happens is it starts to scour your environment to seek opportunities to meet that dominant picture. Simple. (All right, there is a little bit more to it; however, for now start creating the dominant picture of what you WANT.)
Leg 2: Belief
Do you know what self efficacy is? It’s the BELIEF in the desired result or outcome. In order to reach these New Year resolutions, Leg Number 2 is Belief.
Your brain believes everything you tell it. It will believe whether it’s real or not. Eh? Your brain is that powerful that you can create how you want it to be.
Now, you may say, ‘But it’s not true. How can it be? I ‘m not a size 10, or I have not stopped smoking or I’m not really confident or I’m still in my awful job. It’s not real’. No, not yet. What you are doing is creating enough doubt about your current reality and belief system so that the NEW belief is becoming the dominant picture. It’s really that simple. Because you believe it to be the truth, you will start to see what you missed until now.
Leg 3: Just Be Your Best Self
You will never be perfect. Ever. When people start out with New Year resolutions, they may make a few mistakes, errors, have the odd relapse. What happens? They give up. They decide it never worked and stop trying. There is a wonderful quote by Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich:
“If you make a plan and the plan fails – make a new plan. If that plan fails – make a new plan. The only person who fails is the one of gives up.”
As humans, some of us believe that unless it’s perfect, it’s never going to be great. Your BEST SELF is always good enough. Stop beating yourself up!
Leg 4: No Wishful Thinking
New Years resolutions and goals are not hopeful or wishful thinking. They definitely don’t work if we have a thought about them ONCE and then sit back waiting for things to happen. Many people have wonderful plans, exciting ideas and amazing ‘could be’s,’ and then do nothing about them. What a waste of energy!
Generally, because they have not prepared the brain for change, or created new beliefs, what happens is they start to lay blame for their goals not working. They lay it on the world, their lifestyle, their finances, their job, their partners, the dog, lack of this and that.
With love, quit the victim mentality. Decide that today and all the days to come are yours if you want them. You don’t have to wait until the next New Year. They are your responsibility, you are accountable, and only YOU can make YOUR life happen, YOUR way.
If we live by wishful thinking, we will be disappointed.
The key: if you are making resolutions or any goals, give them some LEGS. A GOAL with no support will fall down!
Lastly,
If the year just past has not been ‘the best’, one of the greatest things that you can do for your soul (yes, I did say soul) before you head into any new day, never mind a new year, is to pause and think for minute of all the things in your life that you are grateful for.
Gratitude is not some wishy washy phenomenon. Never make the mistake that being grateful and positive is weak or ‘for them’! It takes more courage to be this than ungrateful and negative.
I know some may fight me on this one with thoughts such as ‘But it’s been awful’, ‘She has no idea how terrible it has been this year’ or ‘No more self help, touchy feely nonsense’. You are right, I don’t know your story; however I also know (and so do you) that nothing remains in the same state forever. Everything changes. Everything. I love the saying, ‘This too shall pass’. It’s always right.