Moxie Living: Courage and Confidence

How To Stay Stuck on Motivated!

Finding that one ‘thing’ that motivates, inspires and drives you forward, is perhaps the easy part.

Sticking with it, that’s what most people find the tricky part.

And even if you have already succeeded in identifying what motivates you, the temptation to give in to (dare we say) procrastination are much more powerful than getting yourself up and going.

Lacking motivation or deliberately making yourself feel demotivated is a habit.

Seriously, something isn’t quite right when you refuse to wake up on time to get work.

Or, when you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the power of procrastination when you have deadlines to meet.

You know that something is going wrong inside you when the task you have to finish several days ago sits idly on your desk, untouched.

And something isn’t right when you can’t even force yourself to confront a problem that has been gnawing your will to live fully.

You may even lack the motivation to accept that you are not motivated!

So how do you build your motivation from the ground up?

Start with…

Identifying the things that zap out your motivation.

It always starts with very simple things in a very natural manner.

Then it starts to affect the other aspects of your life, which are not entirely connected with the thing that triggered your lack of motivation.

Maybe you just didn’t feel like getting up after your alarm rung off one morning. The next day, you did the same thing and on and on until you developed the bad habit of not feeling motivated to do anything.

Start with the exercise of listing down the areas in your life where you find no motivation to pursue at all and the particular things which you think makes you feel disheartened.

This will help you gain some perspective on the entire issue.

You can even derive solutions in simply knowing the cause. This will shed clarity on your issues with motivation.

Then you can move on to evaluating the risks and benefits of not feeling motivated.

Believe us, there are benefits to having no motivation – immediate self-gratification in the form of rest for one. And there are risks, for sure. Plenty of them. And the risks oftentimes outweigh the benefits.

Discovering the risks and benefits of not feeling motivated could be very enlightening.

In general, you would realise that it is never worth it to procrastinate, to give in to the temptation of hating to move a finger to finish your tasks, or to deliberately believe that it is much more gratifying to lie around and do nothing.

Finally, commit yourself to change.

This is not easy, it never was. But try to set the date for mustering your sense of motivation.

Simple Ways to Balance Your Life

How do you know when your life is spiralling out of control? What does it feel like when you can’t seem to see’ the wood from the trees’? Have you ever felt so stressed and overwhelmed by the events in your daily life that you have experienced the signs and symptoms of stress?

When your living life this way, it may seem impossible to think of what it would look like if it were in complete balance.

We live in a very busy world, there is so much ‘noise’ that sometimes do you think it’s hard to hear yourself and what you need?

Finding true balance is something that doesn’t start with changing your external world, it has to begin within you, first. Even if you feel your entire external world is in utter chaos, the true balance will remain a constant regardless!

It’s a state of mind, a commitment to remaining in control of you.

It’s ensuring that you allow nothing to ‘tip the scales’.

Below you’ll find three simple ways to begin balancing your life:

Quiet time

Among the first things we incline to sacrifice when we’re busy is our personal time.

Instead we devote all of our energy and attention to caring for others, multi-tasking, meeting responsibilities and “being productive.” Over time this depletes our energy and we begin to feel more and more burdened by our responsibilities.

To live a more balanced life, quiet time to yourself is essential.

You might think that you don’t have any time available for yourself, but something astonishing happens when you consistently make time; you find yourself feeling happier and more energetic, your focus improves – and you still get plenty done!

We know you may work full time, have a family, pets, friends and family crying out for ‘pieces of you’, a long ‘to do list’ and heck, you still gotta sleep!

Yet, if all (or some of these demands) cause you stress now, and you don’t claim back balance and admit that you are just as important.

Guess what? It can only get worse.

Just a few minutes spent on you can do wonders in transforming stress into peace and happiness.

Self-care

Beyond making time for things you enjoy, there are other ways to nurture and love yourself on a daily basis.

Getting a full 8 hours of sleep (or as much as you personally need) is a great start, as well as eating nutritious food, exercising daily and speaking kindly to yourself.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re really tired or stressed, even the smallest problem can seem like a nightmare?

On the other hand, when you’re feeling well-rested and centered, you’re much better able to handle upsets.

Caring for yourself is one sure way to consistently replenish your energy, inner peace and joy – which means you’ll have the strength to handle whatever comes your way.

Flexibility

Did you know that one of the biggest causes of stress is rigid expectations?

We all do it from time to time; get a mental picture of how our lives “should be” – and get really annoyed when our outer circumstances don’t cooperate!

One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is a flexible state of mind. In other words, learn how to detach from unrealistic expectations and go with the flow.

When you have a flexible mind-set, you’re able to deal with crises and problems much more easily because you’re not working against a preconceived notion of how things “should be”.

You’re able to tap into your creative problem-solving skills and move through challenges without all the drama and frustration.

Be like the tree that bends with the breeze – and you’re much less likely to break!

These inner changes can make a dramatic difference in your state of well-being, but you may also want to examine your outer life circumstances and see if there are other small changes you can make to help support your inner work.

For example, you might choose to let go of certain obligations that are no longer meaningful or enjoyable to you.

Just because you agreed to host weekly meetings for a support group three years ago doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it forever – especially if it’s become a drain on your time and energy!

Be willing to let go of activities that no longer complement the lifestyle you desire, and you’ll create a space for greater fulfillment, joy and peace.

And we know, we know, asking…that’s the easy part, it’s the answering that creates the angst!

(Oh, we’ve called it Part 1 because we have plenty more of these ‘types ‘ of questions, all in good time friend, all in good time!)

When you have to answer questions about yourself, do you find them ‘challenging, sighing, eyes rolling, shoulder shrugging, soul searching’ impossibilities?

Maybe it’s because we don’t really ask questions of ourselves, are we generally too busy making ‘statements’ about ‘how our life is’?

You know, statements like ‘I hate my job’, ‘I have no self esteem’, ‘it’ll never get better’ or ‘I’ll never be able to learn/do/be that’.

Those types!

And the problems with ‘those types’ of statements are…well there’s a few, but here’s three for starters:

Problemo’ No 1:

They have nowhere else to go.  Once made the statement is made it doesn’t allow the brain to think of an alternative answer.

Problemo’ No  2:

They develop ‘this is the way it is, this is the way it’s always going to be’ thinking, no change thought patterns.

Problem 3: No thinking time.  Asking questions gives you the time and opportunity to search for answers, in a statement that doesn’t happen.

‘Nuff said.  Here’s the questions to ask yourself:

 1. What do I really want?

Yes, we know, old hat and cliché.  If you could answer THAT wouldn’t life be a jolly breeze.  It is the number one question to ask yourself and answer (genuinely and honestly).) If  your too busy thinking about what you don’t want ever wondered why things don’t change the way YOU want them to?

2. Do I want to change?

Seriously, do you want to change?  There is a great saying ‘change happens whether you like it or not’.  Some people want ‘different, better, another way’, yet they misunderstand that in order to achieve this they may have to ‘give up’ something in return.  It’s a trade off.

In could be a an attitude, a way of thinking, a belief, an environment, an entire way of living your life.

So do you want to change?  Is the new worth releasing the old?

3. How can I make this happen?

You may not ask yourself this question regularly.  But once it’s explained to you, we bet you will.  Take for example the statement ‘I can’t do this’, when you turn it into a question ‘how can I do this?’ be prepared, your going to be given many answers!

 4. Am I happy?

If you think ‘no one can be happy all the time’, we agree!

But try not to fight the question.

It’s simple, yet so many people avoid it.  Humans do a great ‘cover up’ job when it comes to being asked that question.

5. What would I do if I knew 100% I was completely safe?

Now, the resistance you feel answering that question might be huge, please put it aside.  What IF you knew you were safe, secure, loved and ‘perfect’ just the way you were?

What would happen?

6. What’s my mission?

If your answer is ‘I don’t know’, great, at least your thinking about it.

A mission can be your defining values and principles on how you live your life.  Incredibly simple.  You don’t need all of lifes ‘big answers to the big questions’ like ‘why am I here?’.

No no, much simplier.  A statement that defines you, your values, your principles and your contribution to the world.  Simples!

7. What are my personal myths?

Myths are not true!  They are stories.

Stories repeated often enough they are only kept alive by the repetition and constant refering to.  The most common personal development ‘stuck-id-ness’ myths are ‘I can’t/I should/I’ll never be able to’.

Write your down your myths and then refer back to question 5!

Last week I was sitting doing the email ‘thing’ and the BBC News threw up in front of me the headline…Man Follows Sat Nav To Edge of Cliff!

Curious, because as you may know these ’strict, very scary voices’ who reside in ’sat navs’ don’t do much for the old self-esteem i.e. when you miss your exit they bellow out of a tiny piece of plastic ‘Turn back, you eegit, you have missed your turning, honestly, tut, have you passed your test, do you listen to a word I say’…and so on!

(If you have not experienced the voice of a sat nav, go on a journey with someone who does have one, but I insist you take wrong turnings…you’ll quickly get what I mean)

Anyway, the headline, in short…man, in a car heading along a dirt track followed his sat nav because it was telling him where to go he said, I paraphrase: “It kept insisting the path was a road, even as it was getting narrower and steeper. I just trusted it. You don’t expect to be taken nearly off a cliff.”

True, and yet…

Who do you insist on listening to, when you already know that the decision you made is the best one for you at this time?

It got me thinking. We are pretty much like sat navs, or lemmings?

Eh?

Well, we are programmed, yes?

We choose one direction over another, right?

And yet, we ‘listen to the experts’ even when our intuition, gut feelings and emotions tell us otherwise. And worse, we generally know when we are completely on the wrong the path and keep going.

So before you go and head of the edge of a cliff…listen up:

If you have ever asked yourself “Where am I going? Is this for me? Is how I am living my life making me happy” well first, take heart, you’re not alone.

Mostly likely you have probably already said this to your best friend over a pint or to family member while wolfing down another roast potato at Sunday dinner. No doubt an answer was forthcoming, but…

Have you ever considered what influence just one opinion can have over the entire course of your life?

One rule set by someone else that shaped an entire chapter?

One wrong piece of info that sent you in the wrong direction?

Okay, we speak to the people we trust and that in itself is vitally important. Family and friends offer (usually) instant confidentiality and some form of understanding.

So where’s the problem?

Unfortunately, us little Earthlings can have a tendency to be Lemmings and easily swayed with what others say. Peoples’ opinions are marred by their own experience and while valuable, should we guard ourselves against it becoming our own?

Here’s the thing…every person’s life experience is unique to them. Yeah, you know that. So, you’ll agree that every opinion therefore is unique to the individual, right?

“This is obvious advice” I hear you cry and you’re right!

Now though, take a moment and look back at your past decisions.

Let’s, for simplicity, use your career…

How many times have you changed what you wanted to do simply because one person said it was a “bad idea” or “You’re too old to start now!”.

So now I’m here giving you a second opinion!

Why listen to just one person! If you desire to ask others opinions (which is pretty human by the way) I challenge you to find a third, then a fourth until you flesh out those questions I mentioned earlier.

“Okay, I’ve spoken to Bob the landlord at the pub, any good?”. Well, if you intend to become a bar keeper and want to pull pints, absolutely! Though, if you’re thinking mechanic, I’d hear what Bob has to say, but pop down and speak to Jake ‘fix it all’ Mechanic in town.

Moral? There is one, honest…

While it is important to bounce ideas of various different people, it’s most important you speak to people already doing what you’re thinking you may want to do, be or become.

I mean if you need your accounts done you’ll go to an accountant, you’d hardly take it over Jake ‘fix it all’ Mechanic.

Are you seeing the moral yet?

Remember, the only person who places limitations on what you can do is ultimately yourself.

Like Napoleon Hill said. “What the mind of man (authors note and women:) can conceive and believe, it can achieve”.

While a nice sentiment you may want to keep in mind: all successful change in behaviour will be exactly proportional to the effort you put into it.

Speak to just one person and you have a single opinion.

Speak to ten and you have lot to think about! Whichever way you look at it you will always gain more by having ‘lots to think about’ and owe it to yourself to do so.

Ultimately this is important: you are the judge, the jury and dependent on how hard you work will be either the executioner or the saviour of your life.

Okay, and the sat nav?

I say, use ‘them’ sparingly – life is not the destination! Programme your own. If you need to use another’s, always have your intuition, it’s usually right- or else go over the cliff!