Dawn Barclay

Helping you align all that you do with your core values

Moxie Living: Courage and Confidence

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A Gentle Crash Course in Personal Development Thinking

A Gentle Crash Course In Personal Development Thinking

We like the term Crash Course. It reminds us of those seven-day ‘driving intensives’, we have no doubt that when people pass their test they are competent at driving, but are they an experienced driver?

If you’ve been steering yourself in and around the world of Personal Development (books, courses, workshops, articles, products, training) for a while now, can you tell us, when will you be ready to pass your test?

What test!

Crikey, there isn’t one!  Can you imagine?

Seriously, a test, what does it sound like ‘when you have learnt all there is to know about you, then, and only then my child, you may go forth into the world of rich rewards and bounty’.

Nope, doesn’t make sense. No-one needs to pass any test to develop themselves!

Perhaps this is the reason why many people ‘start’ their own personal development journey and stop. Stop dead.

They get so far and for whatever reason or thoughts they have. They give up. Turn around and go back to where they once came from.

Okay, let’s together make this e-a-s-y.

You’ve passed the test!

Congratulations!  You got an A+.

That means, you no longer have to wait until someone says you are ‘ready’ to develop yourself in whatever area of you life you want to.

You have all the credentials, qualifications, resources at your disposal to move forward, change, grow and realise your potential (in any area of life, that you choose).

So as a graduate of life, can we please get on to the personal development thinking, after all you’re ready, aren’t you, ready to be an expert of you?

Course 1: Know Your Purpose!

‘Wandering between two worlds, one dead. The other powerless to be born’.

Are you one of lives wanderers?  Do you know what direction you are heading?

Now, no one is saying that you have to have everything ‘set in stone’, who wants that all the time?

But are you a ‘hoper’: hoping for health, hoping for wealth and hoping eternal everlasting happiness.

People stop at this point when they come against their own internal thoughts of ‘that’s my purpose, but why have it, I don’t know how to get there’.

We all have our unique blueprint, mark and stake to play and make on the world.  We even know when we are ‘out of sync’ and not following our purpose, em, life feels awful?

Course 2: Claim Your Personal Power

Claim complete ownership, control and accountability of your power and focus. Take 20 mins on creating your own personal mission or life purpose statement.  Don’t edit it!

Just write, be creative and if at any point you ‘feel’ uncomfortable in your writing, put it to one side.

Course 2: Understand What’s The Driving Force – Your Values

We all have a set of personal standard and values.  It’s generally, our values that help create our goals and purpose.

When your goals and values don’t align or add up then you may find it harder to achieve what you set out to do.

For example you may want financial security and your value towards money is ‘it’s the root of all evil’. 

Achieving your goal of financial security is a little doomed from the start.  They are at complete polarities.

So, when you identify your core values you are able to set goals in conjunction with them.  Values obviously can be changed.

Take a few minutes and write down your top 10 values.  Then think about your goals, do they match up?

If they don’t go back to the values list and ask yourself these questions:

Is this my value? And this is my goal? Is this value worth keeping?

If the answer is yes, the next question is:

How can I make my values and goals connect?

Remember your goals, when backed by your core values give you the drive, determination and enthusiasm, motivation to follow them through.

Understand Your Needs, Want, Hopes and Desires

We all have them, when our needs are not met we are detached from who we really are. Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically.

So write down your top 10 needs: it could be something you have to do every day (shower, speak to a friend, spend time alone), or a hobby, or could be a way you need to be treated: respect, dignity, privacy.

Take care of yourself get them written down, now.

Get Passionate, Oomphed, and Va Va Voomed! (Or just Fired Up!)

Live a wonderful life, enjoy it all. 

Obstructions like uncertainty and lack of enthusiasm will only block you, but will not derail your adventure to get to the person you want to be.

Express yourself and reward the folks who have revolutionised you to become the person you wanted to be.

Still Your Mind and Enjoy Silence Once in a While

Everyday you’re bombared with all different types of messages, communication, wants from others, technology – there is always something to grab your attention.

Take time for peace. Take time to take care of the caretaker! (That’s you by the way!)

Learn to just be, breathe and stop the constant threads of thought.  Chill out a little more, and search for your own truths inside out.

Know Your Strengths and Acknowledge You’re Current Non-Strengths

What are your positive traits? What exceptional gifts do you have? List five- if you grind to a halt, call for those nearest to you to support and help your collate.

Are you a great friend, humourous, excellent at communication?

Explore ways  to show your authentic self through your strengths. You’ll be able to step-up your self-confidence when you can share what you know to other people.

Service to Others

As you start to live genuinely, you might feel that you acquire an unified sense of being.

While you’re honest to who you are, living your purpose and applying all of your gifts to the universe around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others.The payoffs for sharing your talent with those close to you is so rewarding, a good deal more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can treasure what you’ve done to them.

Sharing and Contributing is indeed one type of work that is always well worth it.

Tips to Setting Goals

Tips to Setting Your Goals

Do you set goals? Unknowingly, you probably do. Many people set goals on a daily basis (what to eat, what to wear, how to travel to work), yes, even these are all goals. However when it comes to setting goals for life or career purpose, many feel as though they’re stumbling. Here’s a few tips…

Be Specific

Goals need to be specific, so that you know which part of the process you’re currently in and the particular ways on how you will achieve it.

Most people have goals to ‘get promoted, get rich, improve relationship’ and the like, but these are very vague and your mind can become confused about what you truly mean.

General descriptions usually don’t have boundaries, so you always leave room for mistakes and compromise.

If you want results that you can be proud of, be specific.

To be specific, you need to include the full details.

Write down something like, “I want to get £20,000 in savings by October of this year.” or “I need to become key supervisor of the sales division by next week.” or “I want, my children, to become best friends beginning tomorrow.” Include the names, the position, the amount, the date and everything else needed to train your mind to start working towards that goal.

Be Measurable

Goals need to be measurable so that you can gauge how well you have done lately.

To help measure your paths and goals, you should include measurable details.

For your job, you can include: details such as the number of hours you’re working, the amount you’re earning, the staff you’re handling, etc.

For the goal of money, you can include details such as the amount you want to have as a whole, the number of companies or businesses you own, your contact persons, etc.

Always have things and items to be measured so you can understand how close you are to getting your goals. If your goal is to earn £50,000 a month, then you know you’re halfway there if you’re already earning £25,000 a month.

Be Attainable and Realistic

Only set goals that can possibly be accomplished.

Some people set goals that are too high to reach, that they are almost setting up things that are impossible.

Make sure you only set objectives that you can reach within a given amount of time, provided the current resources and capabilities you have.

Some examples of impossible goals are doubling your salary overnight, getting a promotion higher than your boss’s position, etc. Some goals can be achieved faster compared to others if you have some strengths and paths to back these up.

Always include a strategic plan for big objectives.

Time-Bound

Set deadlines to achieve your goals or else you’ll never going to finish anything. Stay specific when setting timelines and schedules.

For example, indicate things like “To spend an hour with my wife everyday starting tomorrow (indicate exact date and year)”.

Setting the exact time and date will spur you to start working on your goals, instead of putting it off for another available time.

Some goals can take years to accomplish so it is wiser to break these down into smaller objectives, still complete with deadlines. You can finish everything in a sequence to finally reach the biggest one.

99 Personal Development Questions That Will Make You Think…

The saying is ‘ask the right questions and you’ll get the right answer’.

We both know you’ll probably skim the questions below, that’s okay, the ones that need to stand out to you will show themselves!

1. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?

2. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute?

3. What advice would you give the ‘5-year-old you’?

4. Can you picture the child you once were, what were they really good at?

5. Who did you last gossip about, how do you feel about it now?

6. What promises have you never carried through for yourself?

7. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be?

8. Have you ever expected ‘love in return’?  Did you get it?

9. Do you play to work, or work to play?

10. When did you last laugh so much, it hurt?

11. What’s the most marvellous thing you have ever seen with your own eyes?

12. When did you last say thank you and sincerely mean it?

13. What’s your number one priority?

14. Who do you need to get in touch with because it’s been too long?

15. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go?

16. Who do you blame?

17. Are you a starter or a finisher?

18. When did you last do something for nothing in return?

19. When did your heart last ‘skip a beat’? Why?

20. Where would you take a road trip?

21. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?

22. Do you always want the answer to ‘what are you thinking about?’

23. How are things going for you, now?

24. When did you last talk yourself out of something when deep down you wanted to do it?

25. Do you live your life around days of the week?

26. How do Mondays feel for you?

27. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them?

28. Is a year past more important than the next hour to come?

29. Do your practice ‘self-love’ or ‘self-loathing’?

30. What’s your greatest achievement to date?

31. What scares you about your future? Does it matter if it isn’t even here yet?

32. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’ ?

33. How many hours a week do you spend watching tele and on the internet? How many hours do you spend alone with you?

34. If we all died at 35, what have you still to do?  What did you miss?

35. If you had to move country tomorrow, where would you go?

36. Why does pizza come in a square box?

37. What answers are you seeking about your life?

38. Do you like the sound of your own voice?  How does it sound when you are complaining?

39. When did you last listen to the sound of your own breathing?

40. What are you just not seeing?

41. Would you love to spend quality time with you?

42. What aspects of you, do you keep hidden from close friends but expose to loved ones?

43. When did you last judge someone who you didn’t know?

44. What would you call your autobiography?

45. What do you need to learn but won’t admit to?

46. Are you a goal setter or a ‘whatever will be, will be’ person?

47. How would you hate to be described?

48. What genius would you be? Why?

49. When did you last make a mistake and be okay with it?

50. What would happen if you knew you could not fail?

51. How does it feel to be photographed?

52. Is trust more important than love, or is it the other way round?

53. What do you wish you had invented?

54. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose?

55. If you could ‘dare yourself’ what would it be?

56. Are you living your life, or having a life?

57. What learning from today are you taking into tomorrow?

58. What makes you special, unique and talented?

59. What your perfect day look like?

60. What one thing do you need to do next?

61. What life legacy are you leaving?

62. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’?

63. Are you playing games with yourself where the rules are preventing you from reaching your goals?

64. Who do you dispose your garbage on?

65. What negative experience keep happening time and time again for you? When are you going to learn from them?

66. What do you consistently attract in your life that is no longer good enough for you?

67. What have you given up but yet used to love?

68. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others?

69. What does the life you want to live look like?

70. What questions here have you skipped over because they are too hard for you to handle?

71. Would you fall head over heels in love with you?

72. Are you making your difference in the world or stagnating?

73. What do praise and admiration sound like to you?

74. If you woke up tomorrow with a habit gone, what would it be?

75. How long are you going to be dead?

76. What risk do you need to take?

77. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life?

78. What’s your earliest memory of achievement?

79. What are you thankful for, this moment?

80. Where in your life do you give up accountability?

81. What does it feel like to change?

82. What (or whom) drains your energy, why do you let it happen?

83. Is tomorrow really another day?

84. Who’s permission are you waaiting on to achieve your goals? Will it actually come?

85. Do you need to see things before you believe them?

86. If your life were a TV programme, what would it be?

87. When did you last argue with yourself? Was it purposeful?

88. If you could talk to everyone in the world for 5 minutes, what would you say?

89. Would you defend a loved one, if you were breaking the law?

90. When did you last lie and regret it?

91. Would you risk making a mistake?

92. When did you last say something and automatically regret it?

93. When did you last speak well of you?

94. When is the right time to start a new goal?

95. Can you hear your enemies talk about you? What are they saying?

96. What in your life exhilarates you?  Do you do enough of it?

97. Would you rather be poor and healthy or rich and ill?

98. If you could learn a new skill today, what would it be?

99. Do you have any questions you are scared to ask yourself?

 

How To Make Life Decisions

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths.

In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life.

There are roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other.

There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life.

Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad.

With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take?

What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it.

There are no guarantees.

This is one of the most important things you need to realise about life.

Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness.

Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned.

Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness.

Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.

There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.

Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost?

Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realise its soundness.

If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.

Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide.

It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads.

It’is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveller or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you don’t make decisions haphazardly.

Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:

Get as many information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with.

Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation?

These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important.

Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

Identify and create options.

What options do the situation give you?

Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options?

This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work.

From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end.

You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight.

So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad.

It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life.

Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

Are You a Master of Your Own Self?

Are You A Master of Your Own Self?

Personal mastery is about approaching life from a different perspective. Sometimes people would refer to life as a journey towards continuous improvement.

Personal mastery is guided with key principles like vision, personal purpose, creative tension, commitment to truth and understanding the subconscious mind

One of the most important fundamental aspects of personal mastery is personal vision.

Personal mastery when combined personal vision can create a framework or guiding philosophy on how you can operate and live your life. Some people would say that personal vision serves as a guide that would keep you on track.

Followers of personal mastery see that there are great opportunities to improve their growth.

Personal mastery is about loving yourself and expressing your gifts to its fullest. Some would think that personal mastery is controlling and limiting one self, but actually it is about understanding your personality.

To control or overcome some habits, it would be important to identify how and why those habits arise. The more you suppress things, the more you would have difficulty in conquering and overcoming it.

Personal mastery is self-discipline. It is about taking responsibility for the direction that your life is going to take.

You would slowly realise that you can do anything with the aide of your skills and talents. Discipline would clarify and deepen your perspective in life.

Those who quest for personal mastery would develop patience and see life objectively.

Personal mastery can actually help you become successful in life.

You can say that you have developed personal mastery if you are starting to fully understand your strengths, talents and your purpose in life.

Personal mastery enables you to be inspired, energized and happy with your life. You start to show a sense of commitment in changing on how people perceive life and the world.

It is also important for a person who is on quest for personal mastery to develop integrity, humility, justice and industry. Actually, these are “rules” on how we could conduct ourselves professional, socially and spiritually.

Peter Senge said that attaining personal mastery has no shortcuts or no “quick fixes.” Sometimes it would take a lifetime for personal mastery to be attained.

Personal mastery detaches a person from self-interest or selfishness and encourage people towards providing care and service to other people.

Also individuals who follow personal mastery see the connections in their surroundings and perceived everything as a whole.

Proactive behaviour is also something that personal mastery helps you to develop. Reactive behaviour like thinking beforehand hand that you cannot do things is dealt with when developing personal mastery. Actions and service that you provide are based on how you can creatively maximize your skills.

To summarize it, personal mastery guides you to develop being aware with your beliefs, attitudes and behaviour impacts. It also enables you to accept yourself and be responsible with your own action, attitude, and thought.

Experts would say that personal mastery could be truly gained by living purposefully and by living with integrity.

Living purposefully would include showing talents, gifts and strengths to achieve goals and be successful. Living with integrity is by integrating your ideals, standards and behaviour.

Got Time For A Story? Finding The Sacred Self…

Stories are powerful, they can change perceptions and frames of reference in seconds. 

We’re very grateful and extend a huge thanks to Dr Susan Gregg for her kind permission to let us publish on our blog the opening story from her book Finding the Sacred Self . 

Enjoy…

“Two apprentices, a man and a woman, were walking down a path late one night.

The moon was moving toward full, but not yet bright enough to dim the stars. The wind rapidly pushed the clouds as they danced over the face of the moon. The shadows they crated moved ominously over the high desert terrain.

The night was far from empty; many spirits were out.  The apprentices hurried along.

The quiet was almost deafening, only broken by the sound of their footsteps in the loose gravel and the occasional cricket. Off in the distance a coyote howled.

They spoke in whispers about the lessons they had learned. Their teacher had unexpectedly told them to return home tonight. They had never been asked to leave after dark before.

Their teacher had laughed at their fear.

They tried to be warriors as they walked along the path but fear continued to rise to the surface. They knew someone was lurking in the darkness waiting for them.

As they approached the path leading toward the cliff they thought they saw someone step out of the shadows. At first they laughed at their foolishness but then they began to hear a quiet chanting. Before them stood an ancient one. Only terror held them in place.

The old one said, “Who do we have here? Who comes before me? Come closer and let me see you.”

Slowly they both began to inch backward.

They had heard stories of the old ones and how they steal the unsuspecting apprentice’s souls. Their hearts began pounding and fear began to rise within them; the night was filled with the sound of their breathing.

The old one asked, “What do you fear? Certainly not one as old as me, alone in the desert. How could I possibly harm you? Are you victims or warriors?”

The man timidly began to speak, “I have heard stories of the old ones and how they steal people’s souls. I have no wish to fight you.”

The old one laughed and said, “Who asked you to fight me? Do you really believe those stories meant to scare children into listening to their elders? Come closer so I can see you.”

Again they edged back and the woman asked, “Why are you here? Who are you and what do you want?”

The ancient one smiled and said, “The path to freedom always leads through your fears. You can never be free until you have faced your fears and conquered them. Your healing and your sacred self lies in the direction your head tells you not to go. Whenever your head says, ‘I will not do this,’ you must do it or you will never be free. Listen not to your head. Listen always to your heart.”

The man said, “Those are fine words, old one, but they sound like words of a trickster to me. Why should I trust you?”

“Because your mind tells you not to,” replied the ancient one. “Listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Come closer so I can see you.”

For a moment, they all stood motionless on the edge of the cliff.

Before the man had a chance to stop her, the woman smiled and stepped forward. The man yelled, “No!” But the woman and the ancient one just smiled.

Then the old one reached out and in a rapid, fluid movement, pushed her off the cliff. And she flew. ”

About Dr Susan Gregg “Susan believes that life is meant to be happy and free of struggle – that life is an opportunity to remember our divine nature and to have fun.” you can visit her site at http://susangregg.com