Moxie Living: Courage and Confidence

Have you ever been fired up and nodding your head to inspirational quotes and messages that tell you to ‘never wait’, ‘seize the moment’, ‘the right time is today‘, yeah those ones, me too.

And I Tweet them, slap on Facebook, loving them on Pinterest like it’s my full-time job, and I make a few every now and then in case the world runs short.

Or have you spent time in the company of others who have said to you that ‘this would be a great next step for you’, ‘you’re so ready’, ‘take it’, ‘this has you written all over it, go for it’! 

I’m a huge advocate of there is no better time to start than now. Count me in.

But I’m also a massive fan of trusting your own timing.

Or we could go just say … trust.

Let’s talk about plants for a second. (It’ll make sense I promise.)

In my local park there is a stretch of path called Rhododendron Walk, it’s a meandering path of loveliness on hot days, a mud bath in Winter. It’s every shade of green in Summer and for 3 weeks in the Spring the rhododendrons give a standing ovation performance, spectacular in costumes of deep purples, pinks, reds.

(Think: ‘Ohhhhh, looky, how pretty! Gasp. Aw. Wow.)

On Friday last week there was no colour.

On Sunday there were buds with a teeny bitty bit of colour.

By next weekend the flowers will all be out partying. They aren’t on show any of the other 49 weeks of the year, those three weeks is their time. They trust that the frost has past, the snow has ceased, the light is long, the water and food will be present.

They haven’t been waiting, or holding back, they’ve been really busy, under the hood, doing things that plants have ‘gotta do.

They aren’t working up to their Spring Show just for yours truly, they are building all the time. Growing. Reserving. Gaining energy.  Shedding what’s needed. All the time in a process of change.

And there end-eth the not-a-botany lesson.

There have been times in my life when I’ve spoken about ideas, plans and goals, and yes, they excited me. Yes, I was tempted to just leap. It wasn’t fear, a lack of confidence or a doubt they didn’t happen then, it was because something was niggling me. Ever felt that yourself? It’s just not quite right?

It wasn’t a case of the jitters and nerves. Or not being ready.  But it was everything to do with feelings.

Feelings = the wonderful built in navigation system.

 

Insist on yourself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tweet-a-da-quote.

Perhaps you’ve said yes to a project or a piece of work, goal or desire but you knew at the time it wasn’t what you wanted, something was telling you ‘no’ but you ignored the message. How did it go?

Can you remember the last time you made a decision and you were all in? All over it felt good. Can you compare that time to an experience when you were all out of sync?

Trusting your own timing is trusting  your own self. It’s a brave quality.

It’s learning to stop, to not jump because you can, but to just listen and feel. To ask yourself the powerful question ‘is this for me right now’ and then being courageous to get to your own truthful answer. To be strong and realise when you are being coerced and swayed.

Not what others think is right timing.

Not what books, blogs, quotes with big text tell you is right timing.

Not what coaches, consultants, friends, family, Twitter feeds or Facebook friends say is right timing.

It’s about knowing.

That you are steady and confident in the decisions you take, that you are fully supported by you … first. How can a plant produce flowers if the stems aren’t strong enough to hold them?

That the decisions you make and take are consistent to your core, that you can remain true to what matters to you right now.

No overwhelm.

No rashness.

No squirrels.

No chasing.

No forcing.

No worry.

No pushing.

No manufacturing.

Some things just cannot be rushed.

Because the thing that underscores everything is being aware of the difference between reaction and action, and how it affects your life.

Reaction can sometimes be an excellent thing.

Sometimes opportunities present themselves when you least expect them, forcing you to leap – or not. Remember that bargain of a car that you saw on eBay and it’s still with you all these years later? Remember that time you entered that competition and won first prize? No, me neither … but you know what I mean. There are often times when that one opportunity rears its head and you just know that it’s a once in a lifetime thing.

However, that’s not to say that reaction is to be adopted as a way of life. Quite the reverse, really. Taking action, on your terms and in your own time, surely must be the way ahead.

Because those social media prompts, those friendly nudges, those pep talks won’t do anything for you if you feel that it’s not time to act – what they’re trying to do is to get you to react to them. What the feck? You’re a grown up. That’s not what grown ups want to be doing, is it?

Because how far you go is a matter of physics. How far you go in reaction to someone else’s initiative will depend on the strength of the force they direct towards you. If you’re being propelled by a push and a shove, it’s more than likely that you’ll only go so far before slowing down. Once that force has met with natural friction it will slow down.

However, if you start under your own steam and start to generate your own momentum, the flow of energy, enthusiasm and ideas propelling you forward, chances are you’ll gain speed, overtaking any obstacles in your way.

There’s no substitute for taking action when you know the time. There can’t be. Even science says so, ask the Rhododendrons.