Life is FABULOUS when it’s…well…going fabulously.
Days, weeks, months can go by and you’re ‘rockin it.
Then something happens. Or a number of things. Stress and strain appear and you don’t feel on top of it anymore: you’re cleaning the house when you’re supposed to be meeting with friends or working, you’re doing a Greta and I vant to be alone, you’re picking wee fights with your nearest and dearies just for the hell of it, sleep is haywire and you are feeling teary-eyed.
What’s up? What’s wrong?
Is there anything wrong or have you just piled your life plate too high?
Before you actually break, try these…
#1 Practice the Art of Zzzzzzzz-ing It More Often
Sleep more.
Obvious? You bet (and a bit rich coming from the night owl). They say (they being Harvard peeps) sleep is needed for your mental and emotional well-being and resilience. So it would make sense that if you aren’t getting enough duvet connection (or need more) that you probably feel like you aren’t being your marvelous self and that tiredness can floor your resilience.
That’s not a chore is it? Sleep.
Warning: this is your mother talking…switch off (you and the gadgets) one hour before bed. And turn off your mobile. The tooth fairy doesn’t come to iPhones and smartphones left under pillows.
Here’s a free wee booklet from the Mental Health Foundation all about sleep.
2# Practice Speaking to Someone
No I don’t mean you have to take a seat in a therapy chair just yet. Have you ever felt strained and stressed, met friends, laughed into your latte and left with everything feeling soooooooooo much better?
Make. The. Darned. Call. Meet. Connect.
And please don’t sit there thinking that you’re the only one who is having a ‘moment’, we all have them. Friends and family can’t help unless you tell them you need help.
You could go further and bring peeps together (who are good for you) for a coffee morning and make a difference at the same time.
3# Practice Writing It Down or Out
What down? The stuff that’s swirling in your head. (You could do it at the coffee morning or in that hour before bed when you’ve switched everything off).
According to mytherapyjournal journalling helps:
- Improve physical health and mental well-being
- Diminish symptoms of depression, anxiety, panic, substance abuse, PTSD, asthma, arthritis, and many other health conditions and disorders
- Improve cognitive functioning
- Make therapy more effective
- Strengthen the immune system, preventing a host of illnesses
- Counteract many of the negative effects of stress
- Finally, journaling is for everyone. It just “feels good” to write
Plus it’s always an excuse to buy pretty stationary if like me you are addicted to the smell of notebooks.
4# Practice Taking Time Out
Take your self-care routine to a completely new height. What self-care routine? Um. For you, may I make a suggestion…start one.
Wait. Is self-care a phrase that we can all relate to? Is it another soundbite that we coaches fling about? Okay, then how about this ‘carve some love time for you, you gorgeous thing’.
It’s selfish!
No, it isn’t.
It’s not selfish to show yourself some compassion.
Self-care is not the same as self indulgence.
It doesn’t need to be massive. Oh, before you run a bath, pour yourself a glass of wine and open a family size chocolate bar of Galaxy please note that ‘random acts of being good to yourself’ won’t sustain you long term.
Deeper please. This needs deeper work.
If things are becoming strained and you’ve been feeling it for a while, take the hint. Something needs done. Parent yourself, put yourself on the make believe naughty step for a while, but call it something different ‘chill kerb’ or ‘sanity step’. And then return there often.
No, I’m not going to add a list of self-care things you can do, because it will be my list. But I could ask you these questions:
- What sustains you?
- When do you feel deprived?
- What do you need more of in your life?
- What are you hungry for?
- What keeps you healthy?
- What causes stress and strain for you?
- What is not your job?
- Where do you practice compassion (for you)?
- Where would you go if you took a 24 hour break?
- What would you do if you took a 24 hour break?
- Who can you really talk to about how you feel?
5# Practice Reducing What’s Piled Up
For a while, or for good.
If you’ve piled it too high it makes perfect sense it’s going to topple. What falls could be something important so who not reduce it yourself?
Am I talking about prioritising? More than that. What don’t you need on your plate? What’s there that doesn’t belong to you?
More time in that journal again might be good here. Write down everything you do in a day (or what’s going on with you that is becoming a strain). Ask yourself what can be reduced or what would happen if you gave it up or passed it to someone else.
Now, you can resist this if you want to. And yes, I know you could be responsible for everything (a solo business owner?). But can I ask you, what have you made a habit?
Discipline yourself.
Boundaries.
Say no.
Condition yourself into developing new habits.
Me: I don’t need to have Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and all the rest open while I’m working. No, I don’t need to answer email as soon as it comes in. Yes, I can say ‘I can’t take that on right now’ or ‘Sounds great, can we talk about it in a couple of weeks’. No, the dogs don’t need a 4 hour walk every day. I don’t have to allow oooooooooooverwhelm into my life.
Make a wee promise with yourself that you’re important, that the stress and strain isn’t good for you. It all begins with baby steps and then please keep walking. No point in doing things once or twice and let it all that stress build up again.
Practice self-care. Practice sleep. Practice talking about you really feel. Practice saying no. Practice being with people who know and love you (and make you laugh). Practice journaling.
Go.
You’ve got this.
What about you? What steps do you take (or now practice) when you feel it all becoming too much?
Thanks…it’s always good to be reminded of stuff we do know, but often choose to forget!
Hey Shirley…or choose to ignore. ;-)