Remember this old warning? “People that love themselves are arrogant, conceited, big-headed, narcissistic, and don’t care about anyone else except themselves.” Most of us learned early in life that loving yourself was the same as being in love with yourself.
But loving yourself – the practice of giving yourself the same love, compassion, kindness and understanding you have others is needed for a healthy life -beating yourself up, belittling and criticising yourself, putting yourself down and treating yourself with no respect or forgiveness is not a pleasant way to live.
A life of love, compassion and kindness asks for commitment and courage. As Carl Jung wrote, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
The practice of kindness, compassion and self-love is all about being. The practice of all three – until we accept ourselves completely – for the majority of us seems to be one step forward and two steps back. We accept it one day, and then the following – for whatever reason – we find ourselves back in the thinking of our inner critic, going through our days with negative self-talk and put-me-downs.
We can learn about love, compassion and kindness, we can talk about it, we can say we do it, but to really accept it, its an ongoing, constant daily practice. Learning how to, is not the same as understanding why and allowing it to simply be.
The same person who shows compassion, love and kindness to others, the one who says, ‘Just be yourself’ to the child who doesn’t feel like they fit in at the playground, or who says ‘Don’t beat yourself up. Mistakes happen. It’s okay, you will be okay.’ when speaking to their friend at 3 am going through adversity or a struggle, or when they say, ‘Forgive yourself, it wasn’t your fault’ and ‘Let it go now, don’t hold onto it’, is usually the same person who – despite all their efforts to apply it to themselves – they don’t. They don’t see themselves as deserving, worthy or good enough for the same messages of compassion and love.
Its not all about bubble baths and Belgian chocolates
Common to popular belief, love, care, compassion – of the self variety – isn’t nice bubble baths with smelly candles every now and then, wearing your favourite frock to garden, or going for a walk barefoot on fresh cut meadows to reconnect with yourself. Sure, if they add to your happiness, do them. There’s a false perception that all three – love, compassion, kindness – is something we create on the outside to heal the inside, it’s the other way round. It’s from the inside out.
So, how about we,
Practice Together?
I’ve excited to announce a new 4 week project called: Unfinished Human: Choosing Kindness, Love & Compassion.
Who’s it for?
Unfinished Human is designed for those who wish to choose kindness, compassion and love for their life and would like a few ideas and a place to practice.
For all those who have ever said, ‘I want to love myself a little more’.
Included are: 4 weeks of notes, emails, thought stirrers, reminders, activities that will be sent to you 3 times a week (Mon, Wed & Fri) and a private group on Facebook for the month we are together.
We all start on the 29th June.
Want to find out more and how to book? All the details are over on the new Projects website – where all the classes, workshops, courses will now be held
Love.
Dawn
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