Core Values Extra Notes 4 of 5
A few years ago I was at a networking event, the morning had been mostly, ‘Here’s my business card, what can I sell you’ – tedious and boring – I was getting ready to leave when a new face came up and started chatting, after name introductions he asked me, ‘So, where do you add most value?’
At first I thought, ‘What a bloody strange question to ask someone you had just met’, but it was a goody.
But it really stumped me. I didn’t know how to reply.
So, I fumbled my way through an answer.I know they didn’t buy it. Heck, I didn’t buy it. It was wishy-washy, fumbled, and unconvincing. But that question has stuck with me ever since and I’m going to ask it of you, ‘Where do you add most value?’
Do you know?
See, you are the message you are putting out into the world. Everything you do, say, act, behave, produce, create, live, communicate, love … you are putting out your value. Moment by precious moment you are telling the world who you are and what you stand for.
Constantly you are sending signals that tell others, ‘This is me’.
You are the value. You.
Everything you do is meaning-less, unless everything you do is meaning-full. Do you get that?
You are responsible for the message you are putting out into the world, nobody else.
And that’s where the question really hit a nerve with me. As a trainer and coach, part of my job is to sit in the stalls at the back and just observe my clients. It’s blatantly obvious to me when people aren’t walking their talk. It’s so easy to spot how someone is taking part and showing up in their life and world.
But, wait. That must mean it works both ways. People have to be thinking the same about me.
I am the value. The values are what I decide is important, I have consciously chosen them to say to the world, ‘This. This is what I stand for’ and when I was asked the question I can truthfully say … at that moment … I was doing it a disservice.
You know, even though the form changes, the events differ, the courses I make touch on different aspects of life, all the learning comes down to this – you are unique, amazing, wonderful, you have the right to be happy, in life, work and business. You do. You really do.
Most of the time I take the role of coach-parrot – if I keep saying the above over, and over, and over my intention is that you will begin to see it yourself.
Because when that happens, when you realise, notice, start to believe that your life is indeed your own, that fear isn’t real, that you have gifts and talents that the rest of us are begging you to use, to show us, to share with us – my work is pretty much done.
You are the value, You are the message you are putting out into the world.
What are you sharing? What are you offering? What values are you displaying with friends, family, workmates, peers, clients, customers? Is it consistent? I mean, friend, is it really consistent?
Are you adding value to the world? Are you excited about the values and messages you’re sharing? Are your actions speaking louder than your words. Because you know what? Your actions are way more powerful. There is a great saying, ‘You know a man by his actions, not his words’. It’s true.
All day, every day, people are watching you. I know that sucks. I know you shouldn’t worry about what others think and say about you. And I don’t want you to. But if they were to, would they say, ‘See them, they are the real deal. I trust them. They walk their talk’.
Look aligning and living your core values is hard work. Are you committing? Because I know that when you make a commitment to yourself: to be your true self, you put out our best work, your unapologetic work, you grab life and live it, full on, no excuses. You see opportunities present themselves in the most unlikely of places. You are happier because you have been a willing volunteer to live what you stand for.
Unless you don’t. Unless you decide that going as far as knowing a set of values is enough for you. Nobody has said you have to do anything with them. You can choose to not align yourself with them. That’s fine too. If that’s what you want.
If you need to shift, make a transformation, walk another path then know that you may be making one of the hardest journeys you could ever make for your life.
When I was asked ‘Where do you add most value’ – I released at that that point I hadn’t been, I spoke it, I didn’t act it.
Right now, I know my life work is going to be resisted more than embraced. Right now, I know that saying to people there is really nothing to fear, they will mock. Right now I know that some of what share is viewed with sarcasm and raised eyebrows. But I refuse to dilute myself down. I refuse to dilute the message we all have the right to never live in fear, and becoming who we really are is the quickest way to happiness and peace.
Friend. Don’t dilute who you are. Don’t dilute what really matters to you.
Take one of your values and claim it well. Stick a stake in the ground and own it. Don’t lose your passion for living life. Please. Don’t be absent. Don’t take years to wait and live your values. Don’t just do the same things day in and day out, when you know that you have some hard work to do aligning with who you are becoming.
Your life isn’t limited. Your life is a gift. Dear you, stand up for what you believe in. Rise and take back control. Don’t let doubt, worry, concern, the naysayers and belittlers take over your passion and desire to create a valuable life.
You are the value. You. Let everything you do be a whole, honest, flawed, fabulous, amazing version of you. I’ll keep reminding us.