And we know, we know, asking...that's the easy part, it's the answering that creates the angst!  (Oh, we’ve called it Part 1 because we have plenty more of these ‘types ‘ of questions, all in good time friend, all in good time!) When you have to answer questions about yourself, do you find them ‘challenging, sighing, eyes rolling, shoulder shrugging, soul searching’ impossibilities?  Maybe it’s because we don’t really ask questions of ourselves, are we generally too busy … [Read more...]

Last week I was sitting doing the email ‘thing’ and the BBC News threw up in front of me the headline…Man Follows Sat Nav To Edge of Cliff! Curious, because as you may know these ’strict, very scary voices’ who reside in ’sat navs’ don’t do much for the old self-esteem i.e. when you miss your exit they bellow out of a tiny piece of plastic ‘Turn back, you eegit, you have missed your turning, honestly, tut, have you passed your test, do you listen to a word I say’…and so … [Read more...]

How Far Do You Go? “If I expose my nakedness to you, will you make me feel shame”? The title and the opening line, I’m wondering if this post will attract a few people here that have other ideas!) The above quote is from a book a client gave me years ago (in fact I’m not sure if it’s 100% accurate) but it’s what I learnt and what I remember, and my brain has made sense of it for me…thank you brain! Before we go on, let me state pleasantly and without smut, the … [Read more...]

When is it acceptable to display anger?  After all it is an emotion and we all can feel it at certain times.  We know it’s healthier to accept and show exactly how we are feeling, yet, when is too much anger damaging to your health and on the people around you witnessing this emotion? You may already know if you have a problem with anger, those times when you feel out of control and you are actually frightened by your own behaviour.  There is a good chance that you are aware that the … [Read more...]

You may have completed a personal development programme or an assertiveness building course where you learnt how to say no and mean it. However saying yes can also increase your assertiveness and self esteem. Here’s what I mean… Of course there are times when saying no counts and it’s meant.  Usually, when we are being manipulated or forced into something by others.  If assertiveness is the ability to express our needs, wants, rights and wishes without taking away anyone … [Read more...]